Of course you're a virgin, being a virgin has nothing to do with the hymen or anything like that - it's to do with having sex. It's pretty ambiguous - but most people account themselves as a virgin until they've had full sex.
It's not common to feel a little stretched and sore after your early sexual experiences, the first time I got fingered by a guy I felt pretty similar - and it's just your hymen being stretched, and maybe broken a bit or completely, and your body adJusting to new things, your vagina getting used to things being in there. When a guy touches you it's different than say if you've touched yourself.
It's nothing to be worried about - maybe take a warm bath or some pain killer if the pain is bad, but really it should go away and get more comfortable.