What does it mean when they say he finished?

[Anonymous]

Hi, so I'm still a virgin and know nothing about this kind of stuff. Sex ed in school was a joke, I think cause I don't know what the body does when aroused and such. So I know a guy gets a boner when aroused and a girl gets wet, but I've made out with guys and they get hard, but I've never had sex with them. I see lots of questions saying, "He couldn't finish" or "He took forever to finish" So what does this mean? Like they were about to come or couldn't? When a guy cums, is that his orgasm? How does a girl know if she's orgasmed? I know, pretty embarrassing question to ask, but I seriously don't know ha ha. Can someone please tell me?

[Crimson_Petal]

Anything relating to 'finishing' in a sexual context mean to orgasm. A guy cuming is an orgasm. However some men can orgasm without ejaculating. Just to confuse things even further.

If you've orgasmed, you will know. If you're really unaware about this stuff, especially relating to your own sexual response I would spend some time 'getting to know' yourself sexually. See what you like, what you don't like. Just find some time ( about half an hour or so) where you can be alone, private time and just feel your body. Please please please, don't be embarrassed by touching yourself, there's nothing wrong with it and it's good for you and any future sexual partners to know.

Gradually, you might want to explore how you respond to different stimuli. You can find if you're a penetration or clitoral stimulation girl. Perhaps you respond well to water (many girls aim the shower head on the clitoris, it's a very effective way of having an orgasm) or perhaps you've got particularly sensitive breasts. Honestly, just go with what feels good. Don't pressure yourself and it'll get easier over time.

[Asker]

In my shower, I can't aim the showerhead onto myself down there, but there's a tap. When I go to clean myself down there, I sit under that and if I sit there long enough, it feels like I'm contracting, like contract release, contract release, so is that an orgasm? If it is, how in the world would I get that from a guy?!?! ha ha, like I've had guys finger me and go down on me, but yeah. Ha ha, gosh this is so embarrassing. I'm sorry lol

[Crimson_Petal]

Lol, don't worry about it when you say contract release, is it pleasurable? Like really pleasurable? Guys, if they rub your clitoris then it should create similar feelings and eating out even more so. It's difficult to explain, these are things that just have to 'do' I guess.

[Asker]

Yeah it's an alright feeling.

[katiesmuff]

It means that they have ejaculated either by hand, inside of you, in your hand or on you or in a condom. Essencially all it means is they ejaculated and that boner is quickly going down.

[Asker]

Okay, like this one guy I was with, he got a boner and then he had to jack off to get rid of boner I guess. But before he'd get one and didn't have to jack off. So I was thinking why did he have to now and not before?

[katiesmuff]

Don't know of any guy who can't get rid of a boner without jacking off. It's a mind thing, he gets his mind off of getting into you, am quite sure the boner will naturally go away.

[MrOracle]

When a guy gets aroused, his prostate starts producing semen in high gear, to be ready for him to ejaculate. This builds up pressure just behind his testicles. If he then doesn't ejaculate, and if he was highly aroused, his erection may continue and his prostate will ache, which is improperly nicknamed "blue-balls." Ejaculating will releave that pressure and allow his erection to go soft.

[Asker]

Okay. So what if he doesn't jack off, cause he didn't the one time I was at his house. He had to go work, right after I made out with him and so he couldn't like he did when we were camping.

[Red_Arrow]

Once the stimulation (physical, visual, mental) is over without the male ejaculating, he will slowly lose his erection, and life goes on. If he is close to ejaculating and it is convenient to do so, it is much more pleasurable to "finish by hand" then to wait for it (the erection) to die normally.

[sealevel27]

You're adorable :)

[Asker]

Ha ha thanks. I feel like such an idiot for asking, especially at my age. :S

[sealevel27]

No need to feel like an idiot! This is what you're missing out on: herpes, hepatitis, getting pregnant. If you won't want to go screw every guy around, then don't do it. And feel good about yourself :)

[Asker]

Ha ha, those are some reasons why I haven't had sex. I don't want to be in a position of getting pregnant and making the hard decision of what to do with it. And I have so many questions about STDs and STIs too.

[sealevel27]

Well feel free to send me a direct message, happy to answer any questions.