Sexual Health
+1 y

Skinny dipping without your boyfriend?

So, the other evening, I went with a group of friends to the lake, and was a bit peer pressured into skinny dipping with them. I had never done that before. There were 2 girls (not including me) and 2 guys, one of whom is gay. Well, it was fun, and NOT sexual at all. I told my boyfriend about this last night, and he didn't take it well at all. Mainly, because one of the guys who went is kinda touchy with me. He now thinks that I'm impure, even though he's being SO hypocritical about it, and that he doesn't see me as perfect anymore. He also doesn't trust me, and I don't exactly know why, because it's not like he said, "Don't go skinny dipping/do that", and that I went against his word. I didn't know that he would be so angry about it. It wasn't sexual, it was just swimming, and all of us freezing our butts off. He's 15...and I'm 17, it's my senior year. Is he over reacting? Because I understand that he's upset, but I never though skinny dipping would be that bad.
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+1 y
Edit. I worded this so badly. He is reacting in a completely reasonable way, but what I don't understand, is why am I now impure? Skinny dipping doesn't make someone impure. SUre, it was a mistake, but it was strictly a friendly environment with friends who I've known for years. My boyfriend only met them this year. And I've talked to him about this, by the way. I know I hurt him badly, and I feel horrible for doing so (as I should feel).
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Most Helpful Girls

  • It’s honestly something that’s gonna be different for different people.

    Me, I’d never do that in front of a guy that I’m not dating. So in a sense I can understand why this is an issue for your boyfriend.

    I do think it’s going a bit far with the “you’re impure now” bit but I do think it was bad judgment on your part. Even you seem to have some sense of that saying you were peer pressured into it.

    When you are in a relationship things aren’t just about what you want. You need to think about how you want to be as a couple and you need to respect each other’s boundaries.

    In my mind it should be enough for you to say “bad judgment “ won’t happen again and let’s move on. But then it’s a bit more complicated because you seemed to indicate the guy you got naked in front of has interest in you possibly and while you may not have perceived anything sexual going on I guarantee what was going on in his head was not platonic.

  • I definitely think he's justified in being angry. I would never get naked in front of other people without notifying with my boyfriend first and making sure he's OK with it. Our boyfriends are protective of us. It's instinct. You can't blame him for him getting upset, but he may be over reacting a bit. You have to tell him that you thought it wasn't an issue and that the next time something like this comes up you'll see if he's OK with it before you do anything.

    • Thank you so much for your reply. Yes, I screwed up big time, and I told him and myself, that I would never do that again. If I must, I would definitely tell him before I go. It was an in the moment thing, and he doesn't have a phone or any way of quick contact, so I just went without thinking too much :/

    • Well, we do things like that sometimes. All you can do is hope he can learn to trust you again and talk about ways to improve the relationship! (:

  • He has every right to be upset. Would you be okay with him being naked in front of other girls? I doubt it. That's so disrespecful to your boyfriend, he should be the only guy seeing you like that. You obviously have no respect for him and you clearly don't even care about his feelings on the matter. I think he should dump you, but that's just my opinion.

    • Yes, he has every right to be upset. But it's not that I don't respect him. I do respect him, and I didn't intentionally mean to disrespect or hurt him in any way. I did not know that skinny dipping would be so bad. Yeah, it's definitely my mistake, a big one to say at least, but I do respect him. I do care about his feelings, I never said I didn't. I was mostly confused as to why he would say that I was "impure" given that he's done so much worse.

    • Okay you should have mentioned all of that before. I think you should just tell him what you said in that comment. And hope he understands that you do care and respect him and it won't happen again.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I can also see why he was upset, as he wasn't there, and there was a guy there who is touchy with you. Also, some jealousy on your boyfriend part. However, it was just skinny dipping with friends, of both sexes. Lots of people, especially young people, do that. I've done it myself. An as you say, it not sexual, and it's a lot of fun. Try to set up a situation where you and your boyfriend can go skinny dipping together, especially with a couple of other girls and a guy or two. That will make him feel better about it. If not, then there is nothing else you can do.

  • uhm I can see his way of thinking. I think he was just mad that he wasn't there to understand the "vibe", and seeing there was a guy there that he didn't like... yeah I can understand him being a bit irritated.

    But hey, as long as it was strictly a friendly environment and nothing sexual really happened then I don't think you should feel very bad. Was it fun atleast? invite him with you next time, yo.

    • He was angry that he wasn't there. It was strictly a friendly environment, and nothing was sexual AT ALL. I've known these friends for quite a while, and thought it would be fine. Obviously not though. Haha, it was COLD. I will, but his mother won't even let us see each other soo...that won't be happening anytime soon.

    • well, then you didn't do anything wrong. I wouldn't feel bad, you were just having fun with friends.

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 7

  • U can call me a total a**hole for saying this I don't care. But wtf that was a stupid ass move on your part. Of course he's guna be pissed you jumped in naked with 2 other guys and it doesn't seem like you care about it much. I'm supprised he didn't dump you because that's just a really horrible and illogical thing to do if your in a relationship.

    • Yeah, I agree it was illogical, but I didn't know that skinny dipping would be so terrible. I also know and explained to him that having that one guy there was a HUGE mistake. I was blind and didn't think on how he would take it. And mind you, I didn't "jump" right in. It was pitch dark, and he only saw part of my upper body, due to me concealing myself as best I could. I also understand why he's so upset. It's not like I don't. As I said in another comment, I would dump me too.

    • If you do like the guy you better really make him feel safe like you won't do that again because I love my girlfriend to death like no other in this world. But if she did that id blow a fuse and might leave and if I don't id just basically be pissed and not really talk to her tell I cool off or she did something to make me feel better

    • I'm trying my best right now, but given we're not allowed to see each other, it's really difficult. I have an idea of a really heartfelt way to apologize, but I need to see him in person, in order to do so. I know I won't do that again, and I told him the same thing. If I knew that he didn't want me to do that, or that it would hurt him so, I would have never gone.

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  • If I were him, I would dump you. That's how upset I would be, if the woman I loved did that. I don't see how you can claim to love him after hurting him like this. At the very least you don't respect his feelings.

    • And did I "claim to love him?" I mean, I do, and I know I really really badly hurt him. But I do respect his feelings. I never said I didn't. I don't know where you got that from, and it's not like I have NOT talked a great deal about this with him. Yep, I would dump me too, in all great honesty, but he didn't.

  • I say he's over reacting. Being as he is 15 I'm sure its more off a jealousy thing. Has he seen you naked before?

  • dude you need to respect how he feels, you said the one guy is "touchy feely" can't you understand why he would feel jealous by you being naked with him? I think it would have been best to just not tell him about what happened in the first place..

    • Honesty is the best policy. She shouldn't have done what she did, but she shouldn't ever keep things from her partner...especially if it could potentially alter their relationship. If you make a mistake you should deal with the consequences. That's what I think anyways.

    • Yeah, I understand that. I understand why he's so upset, I just don't understand how he can call me impure, given that he's done so much worse to make him even more impure. I tell him everything, I would NEVER lie or keep that a secret. I made a mistake, but he means the world to me, and I wouldn't intentionally do things to hurt him.

    • its not lying. some things are best left unsaid. It's not like she cheated on him. it's not necessary to tell everything to your partner! would you like if he told you how some girl was flirting with him at work, it's just unnecessary and makes the other person over worry

  • I would be mad too. I doesn't sound like skinning dipping is something you do normally so why all of a sudden without him. Also if that other guy has a thing for you he was memorizing every inch of your naked body regardless of what u think the vine was like. Has your 15yo boyfriend seen you naked if not it what you did was a HUGE slap in face. I think you should take him skinny dipping with some girls to make it up to him.

  • Dealbreaker lol

  • not a reasonable reaction - impure? what horse shit.
    Tell him to get his head out of his ass. You weren't having sex with anyone else or doing anything wrong.

  • I had a similar experience where me and two other friends went skinny dipping, and my boyfriend seemed like he was upset about it more because he missed out on something. Regardless, he was more comfortable than I didn’t go skinny dipping with my guy friends. And 2/3 of us still kept our underwear on cuz it was still kind of embarrassing.

  • He just doesn't know how to but his pain into words. Think of it like this. Before you were like a pure angel that could do no wrong. After you hurt him, you are now just a inconsiderate woman, that betrayed his trust. No longer will you ever be that pure angel again. So for him the words makes sense, because that is how he feels. When really what he is trying to say, is that he feels betrayed and has lost all respect for you.

    • He hasn't lost all respect for me, but I do understand your wording of it. Thank you. Well, that's fine with me. I am not pure in general, and neither is he. I'm just really sad that I hurt him.

  • So did the "touchy" guy get any touching in while you were naked? Boyfriends tend to not like that sort of thing. . .

    • HAHAHAH. No. He respects me and my boundaries. But he's just in general a touchy guy, it's not just me. It's just the fact that he's touchy that bugs my boyfriend so much.

  • Yikes. I'm glad you're not my girlfriend.

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