It's so pathetic how guys think sex is the most important thing!

There is much more to dating and relationships then sexual acts! It's so pathetic how guys say they will dump a girl if she's not up to his standards sexually... Like won't do anal or give blow jobs, or wants to use condoms. Why are guys so selfish? And shallow?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • As long as you don't want monogamy, then you do what you both enjoy together and don't worry about it.

    If you want him to have sex with ONLY you and not anyone else, then you need to be prepared to meet the bulk of his sexual desires. That IS the point of a monogamous relationship.

    You can't just say ' its about love and connectedness, and oh I don't want him sleeping with anyone else because I'd be jealous but I don't want to do anything gross just because he deeply craves it but don't do it with any other sluts or I'll be angry.'

    People's sexual desires are part of who they are. If you don't want to embrace them, don't have a monogamous relationship with them.

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    • "then you need to be prepared to meet the bulk of his sexual desires. That IS the point of a monogamous relationship." isn't the point of a relationship to share a life with that person and love them? and look after them? not be his sex doll.

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    • its a deal breaker for you if she says no to anal? wow good luck finding someone who will say yes to that. it's so selfish of you to even ask for it. I hate what p*rn has done to guys, they think they can just copy everything they see.

    • It will be if I get divorced, at least for a relationship vs. FWB.

      I've lived years without sex before. I'd rather be single then stuck in a relationship where my needs aren't met. I don't need a woman. I want one who wants to please me and who I can please (not just in bed, but in bed as well).

What Guys Said 13

  • Guys know what they want, and what's important to them.

    Most of them have no difficulty finding girls who share the same values.

    Just because you feel differently, doesn't automatically mean you're right.

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    • so guys get into relationships just for sex? that's sad.

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    • Your question made some blanket statements, and then asked why.

      I challenged your blanket statements, saying that they may not be right.

      The vast majority of people can find a partner that shares their values. Whether it's humour, kids, intelligence, politics, religion, sex, music, or whatever.

      Just because you feel differently, doesn't automatically mean you're right.

      Never mind. You can make all the assumptions you want. Your answer to me proved that just nicely.

    • im talking about guys who dump their girlfriend based on a sexual act. I think it's shallow & selfish.

  • So it's selfish and shallow to dump a girl over anal, or blow jobs? What if, instead, I demanded blow jobs or demanded anal? Would she be selfish and shallow for dumping me over being demanding?

    We all get to choose our own deal breakers; I don't choose for you, you don't choose for me. If blowjobs are a deal breaker for me, your choices are to go down or go away. It has nothing to do with selfish or shallow, and everything to do with my right to choose which relationships I will or will not be in. If roles were reversed, you would insist on the same respect from me.

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    • I just don't understand why a sexual act can be a deal breaker? it's only sex! other things in life are much more important. I mean sex isn't even going to last forever, you'll get too old one day. Better to find a person your compatible with emotionally & personality wise then to find someone for sex. Relationships aren't about having a sex buddy.

    • To repeat: "We all get to choose our own deal breakers."

      ANYTHING can be a deal breaker--your clothes, your ethnicity, your taste in music, your choice in friends. So why not sex acts?

  • So it's wrong for a guy to have standards?

    Heterosexual guys will only date women. OH MY GOD THAT'S SO SELFISH AND SHALLOW THERE'S SO MUCH MORE TO DATING AND RELATIONSHIPS THAN SEX?

    If the above sounds incredibly retarded to you, that's about what you sound like to me.

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    • yeah but things like anal sex and wanting to have unprotected sex? and demanding blowjobs and then dumping the girl because she doesn't want to. that's just being selfish & only thinking with his d*** in my opinion.

    • If you're not okay with those things you are free to find yourself another boyfriend who is less demanding in that area. I hear SnackG link would be okay with just hugging, you're free to date him. Or perhaps sadface link , I hear he's *very* single and probably desperate enough to accept every condition you can think of.

      Or do these guys not meet your standards? How shallow :p

  • I love sex and won't stay with a girl who doesn't satisfy my sexual needs. Same thing if she doesn't meet my intellectual or emotional needs. It's not just about sex, but sex is a very important part of a relationship to me. And it goes both ways, I also strive on satisfying all her needs.

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    • you won't stay with her even if she's compatible in every other way? that is stupid. because you won't be having sex forever anyway.

    • It may be stupid to you, not to me. I need to be satisfied sexually to be happy. May be you don't, good for you, one less thing you have to worry about. Just pick something that us of prime importance to you, let say emotional fulfillment. Now, accept that I feel the exact same but about sex as well. Pretty simple if you accept other people can be different than you. Can you do that?

  • Apparently, you haven't met too many of us male pandas

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What Girls Said 6

  • Sex isn't the only important thing in relationships, but it is important. Guys are just more vocal about it, whereas women will settle into a sexually unsatisfying relationship. I think guys are on the smart end of this one. The important thing to remember though, is that YOU are allowed to have sexual demands as well. So if waiting is important to you, and using condoms are important to you, then find a guy who agrees with those things. What the guy wants is not the end all and be all, they're just his own preferences. You need to find someone sexually compatible with you, and then you will love sex and see it as important in a relationship as well.

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  • Sex creates another level of intimacy, in a physical sense.

    You connect emotionally through words and mutual feelings and connect physically through sex.

    Sex IS important to some and like emotional/mental compatibility, sexual compatibility is just as important.

    I would dump a guy if we weren't sexually compatible. I have a high sex drive, I'm horny virtually every time of the day and I would want someone who I could communicate with openly and have both physical and sexual chemistry with.

    Initially in a relationship I would make the guy wear a condom. I trust no one. I would require he get tested(I'm a virgin but I'll do it to be fair), and to use a condom until marriage or until I am sure we are in a completely 100% monogamous relationship.

    I don't expect to receive oral sex and I don't want to, however, I DO expect to give it. A sex life without oral and foreplay is incomplete and boring.

    I personally love anal stimulation and I'd be up for giving a guy a prostate massage.

    If one partner needs oral sex to orgasm or get prepared for sex, it is selfish to deprive them of it.

    Anal sex is subjective.

    But it all comes down to compatibility.

    Sex may not be important to you, and that's fine, however, it is important to other people and is individual

    You've posted about 10 of these rants already.

    Shut up and find someone else who is asexual

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  • Sex is important to both girls and guys but if a guy wants to dump a girl because she wants him to condoms he's a jerk and probably has some sort of STD!

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  • no but it is a defining feature of a relationship vs a friendship.

    Not all guys are like that though but you should find someone with similar view on sex to you.

    As a girl I couldn't see a guy for too long who had no willingness to engage in oral at all. especially if there was no wilingness to hear me out .

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  • Believe me, I have met guys who think sex should have a meaning not just "DANG DANG DANG" as a guy once told me. But thing is, they're rare to find compared to the guys you are describing here.

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