Why is my boyfriend so rough and aggressive in bed?

Like when he's fingering me he's extremely aggressive, like he'll grab my vagina, squeeze it, twist it, and lick it. Then he says some really dirty things to me. And when he's fingering me he's reallyyyy hard and fast, and even when I tell him to stop because it hurts, he continues doing it. Do any of you guys do it with your girl? Why does he behave so aggressively?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'll put the same answer I did the first time. He has been watching too much p*rn. It's probably true. Lol.

    • i just really need to know why he does this..it kind of scares me and makes me very uncomfortable, like he's viewing me as a piece of meat or something..

    • Show All
    • Just have that talk with him about the sex, and his overall attitude. Hopefully things will turn out well for the both of you. But if he isn't willing to change, then leave. You don't deserve the disrespect.

    • listen to this dude, he knows what's up.

What Guys Said 8

  • If you want to know why, ask him. More importantly, if he's hurting you, that needs to be a complete show-stopper: "That HURTS. Get out, we're done." Enough of that, and he'll learn to control himself.

  • He's likely insecure and has fear of impotency. He also might be stupid and can't tell that you don't like it. Since you don't, tell him to stop or get away from him because it could get worse.

  • With all that exercise, he can cancel his gym membership. Don't women like guys who save money?

  • He has been watching too much p*rn.

  • Any guy who physically hurts you during sex..needs to stop having sex with you..this is wrong! and needs to be stopped...or reported for that matter...Tell him that he needs to stop being so rough..and if he continues to..then well I think you know what you need to do..this is not to be messed around with, OK?

  • Don't listen to any of these people saying to deal with it, ignorant. Just tell him how to you feel, my boyfriend is into bond age type things so I know more about this than probably anyone here, if he's continuing to hurt you like that then you need to have a very serious conversation with him. Trust me, I know exactly how scary that sort of thing can be, if it persists and your having a hard time being around him alone without being scared then you need to end it, it's a very unhealthy feeling to have around anyone, especially someone who is there to care for you and love you.

  • normal. naughty girls need to be taught lessons so they can be tamed. It can take days to weeks depending on the girl ... good man your boyfriend is.


What Girls Said 2

  • Well, it could be a number of things:
    1. Watches too much p*rn/can't differentiate the difference between p*rn and reality.
    2. Had a previous partner who liked it like that.
    3. Is clueless.

    Or a combination of those.

    I would talk to him about it (outside of sex). Tell him that he's too rough and that it hurts and ask him to be gentler. If he's receptive, tell and/or show him what you like. If you continues to be too rough for you, despite you asking him to stop, then don't have sex with him because it means that he doesn't respect you.

  • We all have our own way to get a pleasure. Some like it rough, some like it soft. If partners do not match it is hard to fix. If he really knows that he hurts you and does nothing to change it - it's time to think about your interests an d comfort. Maybe you, guys, are not compatible that way.