Is Oral Sex and Hand Jobs Considered Sex?

I am saving my self until marriage and I and wondering if I give my boyfriend a blow job or a hand job am I still considered a virgin, and what about if he dose it to me? If I just do it him do I stay a virgin as long as he dose not do it to me? Am I a virgin is he fingers me or eats me out? Or is it all considered sex? What about is he touches my boobs am I still a virgin then even if he puts them in his mouth? I'll take answers from girls, guys, virgins and non-virgins, relgious people and atheist, I am just really confussed. Because my relationship with my boyfriend is starting to move forward physically and I want to wait but I understand I should do something for him but I don't want to do it at the expense of my beliefs and morals. Please, please, help me!

 

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • Are you doing this just to please your BF?

    • Your most welcome. I thought that might be the reason. Don't ever change your morals and beliefs or be pressured by anyone. A true Boyfriend would respect your beliefs and wait.

      Be TRUE to yourself

    • Mostly, all my friends say if I don't do anything for my Boyfriend he will leave me, but to be completely honest whether I was waiting for marriage or not, I'm scared about the relationship moving forward, I mean, I'm 16 and I have friends who have already had sex, and I do on day, but waiting until marriage, I don't think I'm reay to go much farther than 2 base, and I shouldent do something for my Boyfriend if I'm uncomfortable and if I'm not ready and if it goes against my morals. Thank you for making me think.

What Guys Said 9

  • Come on!

    Let's get this right. You want not to have sex until you're married but are fine with bj's.

    Oh, did you have terrible parenting? Maybe your Mom was raped and never told you how wonderful life can be?

    Or perhaps you are religious? You know where they go around in black.

    Do you know how to read? Because they were all arrested for sex crimes. In Boston the Cardinal had to flee the country, to go to Rome to avoid being arrested. (I refer to Cardinal Law.)

    So look, here it is, as simple as I can make it. God does expect truth, honesty, fidelity, no adultery, no animals, no incest, you know, some basic things. Such as no homosexuality.

    And he doesn't like sluts either, whether they are male or female. No slutty behavior.

    But if you're doing this for God, you don't know him -- that's it, pure and simple. Go and read the Song of Solomon.

    Because most people think Solomon slips in some oral sex. Now go, be honest, good, caring and enjoy.

    Enjoy some good and decent sex.

  • In terms of "virginity" it is usually limited to penis/vagina penetration. I think of virginity as two parts though. There is the "purity of the body" and "purity of the mind" if you're going to put his penis in your body or bring him to orgasm, you've crossed a line mentally that someone who wanted to remain "pure" wouldn't. I don't believe in the pressure for virginity and abstinence except to prevent disease and pregnancy. If precautions are taken, I'd rather just have sex. The other stuff is fun but in my mind, all roads eventually go there.

  • Sex? Yes. Intercourse? No.

  • It's insanely simple. There is no controversy or anything, sex is penis into vagina, anyone that thinks otherwise needs to read a medical textbook, the only people that want to consider anything like oral or handjob sex are usually hyper moral or religious people that for some reason just think anything remotely sexual is wrong before marriage.

    If his penis doesn't go into you vagina, then you are still a virgin.

    • Thank you for your input.

  • Welcome to the battle between your morals and your desires. This is probably a question for your priest rather than an internet forum. you know what the priest will say already. In the end, you will end up doing whatever you can convince yourself of as "acceptable" and feel bad about everything else. I'm not going to tell you what is wrong or right, that's for you to decide. But I do know that if you think you're doing something wrong, than it is going to feel wrong.

    • FYI, In Christian not Catholic so we don't have priests, but I get you point and I think your answer makes the most sense.

  • I'd still consider you a virgin.

    You have to decide what's right for you.

    • Looks like it.

    • Looks like your boyfriend is gonna be a happy guy then, lol

    • Hmmmm, no, I guess that with me ok.

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  • I consider it sex.

    I would find it extremely difficult to court a girl who wanted to save intercourse for after marriage. If she did everything else with enthusiasm I might be able to make it. Beliefs.. morals... all I'm getting is the girl is likely too fragile to find happiness without some artificial structure. No thanks.

    • Thank you for you input it is aprciated, but I was simply asking if it is considered sex, nothing else.

  • Sort of. Are you saving yourself for religious reasons?

    • pray about it and really seek the right answer. Better than any answer you'l get on here

    • i would probably regret it later if I did act on my fleshly desires but I'll be honest I have thought about doing it

    • I would imagine so.

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  • I consider virginity to only concern intercourse. I think this is probably the common way to look at it as well.

    • Thank you for your input.

What Girls Said 3

  • Yes, I consider oral SEX and manual SEX to be SEX.

    If you're doing this for religious reasons, engaging in oral or manual sex defeats the purpose.

    • I think you really hit the nail on the head, thank you.

  • Yeah nah. You would still be a virgin. Besides your opinion matters most on this, because it's you, no one else.

    • Your right thank you.

  • Yes, you would be still a virgin. Losing your virginity requires intercourse. BJ's & HJ's are just sexual acts, really.

    • It depends on your morals & beliefs at the end of the day.

    • Ok, thank you, this is something to but into consideration.

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