Is Oral Sex and Hand Jobs Considered Sex?

I am saving my self until marriage and I and wondering if I give my boyfriend a blow job or a hand job am I still considered a virgin, and what about if he dose it to me? If I just do it him do I stay a virgin as long as he dose not do it to me? Am I a virgin is he fingers me or eats me out? Or is it all considered sex? What about is he touches my boobs am I still a virgin then even if he puts them in his mouth? I'll take answers from girls, guys, virgins and non-virgins, relgious people and atheist, I am just really confussed. Because my relationship with my boyfriend is starting to move forward physically and I want to wait but I understand I should do something for him but I don't want to do it at the expense of my beliefs and morals. Please, please, help me!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Are you doing this just to please your BF?

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    • Mostly, all my friends say if I don't do anything for my Boyfriend he will leave me, but to be completely honest whether I was waiting for marriage or not, I'm scared about the relationship moving forward, I mean, I'm 16 and I have friends who have already had sex, and I do on day, but waiting until marriage, I don't think I'm reay to go much farther than 2 base, and I shouldent do something for my Boyfriend if I'm uncomfortable and if I'm not ready and if it goes against my morals. Thank you for making me think.

    • Your most welcome. I thought that might be the reason. Don't ever change your morals and beliefs or be pressured by anyone. A true Boyfriend would respect your beliefs and wait.

      Be TRUE to yourself

What Guys Said 11

  • I'd still consider you a virgin.

    You have to decide what's right for you.

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    • Thank you, lol but I'm having trouble with that so that's why I'm asking, but your input is apciated.

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    • Looks like your boyfriend is gonna be a happy guy then, lol

    • Looks like it.

  • In terms of "virginity" it is usually limited to penis/vagina penetration. I think of virginity as two parts though. There is the "purity of the body" and "purity of the mind" if you're going to put his penis in your body or bring him to orgasm, you've crossed a line mentally that someone who wanted to remain "pure" wouldn't. I don't believe in the pressure for virginity and abstinence except to prevent disease and pregnancy. If precautions are taken, I'd rather just have sex. The other stuff is fun but in my mind, all roads eventually go there.

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  • Welcome to the battle between your morals and your desires. This is probably a question for your priest rather than an internet forum. you know what the priest will say already. In the end, you will end up doing whatever you can convince yourself of as "acceptable" and feel bad about everything else. I'm not going to tell you what is wrong or right, that's for you to decide. But I do know that if you think you're doing something wrong, than it is going to feel wrong.

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    • FYI, In Christian not Catholic so we don't have priests, but I get you point and I think your answer makes the most sense.

  • I consider virginity to only concern intercourse. I think this is probably the common way to look at it as well.

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    • Thank you for your input.

  • I consider it sex.

    I would find it extremely difficult to court a girl who wanted to save intercourse for after marriage. If she did everything else with enthusiasm I might be able to make it. Beliefs.. morals... all I'm getting is the girl is likely too fragile to find happiness without some artificial structure. No thanks.

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    • Thank you for you input it is aprciated, but I was simply asking if it is considered sex, nothing else.

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What Girls Said 4

  • They are sexual actions, but not "sex sex".
    Any who, ask Bill Clinton.

    [IMG]http://i57.tinypic.com/29gn0at.jpg[/IMG]

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  • Yeah nah. You would still be a virgin. Besides your opinion matters most on this, because it's you, no one else.

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    • Your right thank you.

  • Yes, I consider oral SEX and manual SEX to be SEX.

    If you're doing this for religious reasons, engaging in oral or manual sex defeats the purpose.

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    • I think you really hit the nail on the head, thank you.

    • This is my problem, too. What ideas do you have to conquer the urge or transmute the sexual energy?

  • Yes, you would be still a virgin. Losing your virginity requires intercourse. BJ's & HJ's are just sexual acts, really.

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    • Ok, thank you, this is something to but into consideration.

    • It depends on your morals & beliefs at the end of the day.

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