My girlfriend thinks I just want her for sex?

[Anonymous]

We were both virgins when we got together 7 months ago and it wasn't until 4 months in until we had sex. I truly love her and I try to prove it all the time to her. Like a few weeks ago where I took on a leaflet delivery job while she was on holidays to raise money so I could take her for a meal when she came back. I thought I proved that I wasn't in the relationship for her body months ago but the subjects been brought back up. Whenever I give her a compliment now she thinks its a big act and that I'm trying to sweet talk her into havin sex all the time. The truth is I love having sex with her and she seemed to love it too. One time I said to her it seems like I'm the one who has to come onto her to be intimate and she just jumped on top of me and we done it. Sex is good to keep our relationship healthy, although we are still young.. however it s not a priority in my mind? can someone help[ me find out how she's thinking?

[Phoenix52]

"Whenever I give her a compliment now she thinks its a big act and that I'm trying to sweet talk her into havin sex all the time."

--> Stop complimenting her then. Many girls don't like compliments these days. Why? Because they want a challenging guy who's tough to please. And they want to wonder what's going on in their boyfriend's mind. Does he love me?

There's this girl I know who's pretty attractive. She has a long distance boyfriend who's apparently some type of body builder. This dude is a f*cking retard in my eyes. Leaving her Facebook compliments everyday, saying "I love you" and all this other lovey-dovey bullsh*t. It's got disastrous affects, because her ego is inflated by it.

"I thought I proved that I wasn't in the relationship for her body months ago but the subjects been brought back up."

--> I'm going to break this down for ya. Men want sex. Women want a relationship. That's our nature. So by trying to prove to her that you love her is just a bullsh*t game she's playing. Let her love you while you show it back by JUST BEING WITH HER. That's all you need to do. Spend time with one another, have fun on dates, and sex it up in the bedroom (not every time you see each other though - keep sex to a moderate level because too much of it can grow boring).

[kheserthorpe]

Talk to her.

Reassure her that when you kiss her, compliment, etc. those are all genuine.

You also have a lot of sexual desire for her.

Do you try to tease her into sex with affection, compliments? She might be happier if you were more obvious when initiating, then she wouldn't second guess your motives at other times.

[oneforthetruth]

Ok, I do not want to sound condending. However, if you are grown-up enough to be having sex, then you're grown-up enough to talk about this with her, and really you should just sit her down and be open and discuss it with her.

If you want some advice though, does kissing and cuddling always lead to more...i.e, sex? because if it does this may be the cataylst to your problem. If this is the case, you have to know that girls are more emotional then guys and ocassionally need the cuddles and kisses to just be cuddles and kisses. If you're always having sex and there's none of the other, then she is going to feel that way and think that's all you're after...i'm sorry but us girls can be complicated like that.

If that is not the case, then you need to ask her why she thinks the way she does...if that don't work then just don't have sex with her, and when she complains she isn't getting any..you can then explain why that is...reverse-psychology can help sometimes.

[Asker]

Really helpful! thanks:)

[udolipixie]

Girls like words.

How often do you say it?

When you do is it followed by or in the same time frame as sex or something physical?

How often are you affectionate without it getting physical or leading to sex?

Physical /= sex

Are these compliments original or just typical filler bs?

Are your compliments just about her looks or body?

How often are you romantic without it going to sex or getting physical?