Have you ever been on a different page sexually than your partner?

[Anonymous]

So my current boyfriend and I have been on totally different pages when it comes to what we want out of sex. Basically he's into some freaky sh*t. Like okay when you hear about people who are into the stuff he's been into, you think they must just be naturally odd people anyway, or that's what I thought. My boyfriend is very attractive, he's kind and compassionate, athletic, he's nice and he likes to protect me but respects me and sees me as his equal, all that good stuff. He's like the golden boy, nothing seems weird about him, he's special in his own way but also very normal. Apparently not that normal! I think it's important to be open about sexuality and talk about this stuff and so does he. Before he elaborated on what he likes he just said "well I like kinky stuff" he didn't tell me what it meant at first and just asked what my definition of kinky is. I thought I was so kinky with my spanking, pulling of the hair, dirty talking, and my sexy outfits, right? He just starts laughing at me and says that's only barely scratching the surface of kinky. I'm like okay excuse me lol so I asked him to tell me what he's done and he made me swear not to get freaked out. He did all kind of nasty sh*t with his ex. They had a pissing thing where she would pee on him and he would pee on her, he's into bdsm and kind of like pain-pleasure things, he's into anal, he's fisted a girl before,etc. I would have thrown up a little in my mouth if I wasn't so dumbstruck and shocked. I love the kid with all my heart but he isn't getting any if that from me lol Any similar experiences?

[udolipixie]

I love the kid with all my heart but he isn't getting any if that from me lol

^ badass babe right there. 5 star rating just for that

No. I know if we're on the same page sexually before they're partners that way I don't get those experiences.

It's completely in you sexuality to be comfortable or uncomfortable with certain sexual things. And if you're uncomfortable about it then you get to decide if you wish to do it not your partner. You & him will decide if he's all right with your boundaries or if it's time to part so you & him can get partners with similiar tastes or those that don't mind indulging.

However most kinky people will be judgmental and say you're boring/no fun/vanilla/a prude because you don't want to do what they want you to do.

Odd how they can see that every fetish/sexual taste should be respected (excluding those involving hurting children) but become so hostile towards those that don't want to engage in any with them. They'll tell vanillas to be open when they themselves aren't.

[Asker]

Yeah I notice that too, that many people on here who are kinky don't like when people think of them as weird or something. Ihedoniste up there just tried to make a case that being kinky doesn't justify me thinking of people as weird or odd and then turned around and basically said I'm not worth the time of day because I'm dull and judgmental. Basically it's okay for him to judge me as being judgmental. Lol hypocrisy at its finest. Love it. And hell yeah I'm a badass bitch! Thumbs up :D

[udolipixie]

It's amusing when people use the same tactics they're hostile about. Fon't dislike my tastes but I can dislike yours. Don't find me weird but I can find you weird. lol you'll find a lot of guys on here will call you judgmental just for not wanting to do something you dislike when actually they're the judgmental ones. Not wanting to do something is not judgmental it's a preference. Insisting others should be like you/like the same things or something is wrong with them is judgmental.

[Asker]

Hear hear! I agree.

[taster]

Pixie she isn't merely declining...I am hearing label after label: nasty, gross, awkward, crazy, gross, prejudice & unattractive...no one will like it if I let loose and tell the world what I really think...I Promise You...

[Asker]

That's fine but you don't have to be a hypocrite. You could just say "I disagree with your prejudice" you don't say prejudiced things yourself and then spiral down in a contradictory cycle. That's not going to impress anyone but other hypocrites who agree with you.

[udolipixie]

@taster So far I've seen her describe the fetish as that not the people who follow it. You can dislike and be disgusted by a sexual act and not be disgusted by people who like it. ^ excluding pedophiles. they deserve disgust What I find is that most kinky guys on here (not you) are judgmental of the people who don't like the act while the people who dislike the act just find it weird/awkward they're not judging the kinky people they just dislike the act. Correct me if I'm wrong.

[Asker]

And Please get real. You're going to "let loose and tell the world what you really think?" excuse my French, but bitch, who the hell are you? Lol seriously. You're a random dude online.What you have to say isn't going to ruffle my feathers or affect me much at all. Be my guest and say whatever you want. Lol I'll argue with you if I want to but you're no one important to my life.let's not assume we're more important than we are, sweetie.

[taster]

Yes you are wrong.."awkward" & "unattractive" are people labels...as for the other labels...they don't merely express declination...they are all negative and derogatory in nature which is a tough cross to bear when she is referring to one of my favorite activities..."judgemental other guys" is not germane...

[Asker]

Yeah I've said a bit of both. I've never been disgusted or found people who engage in it as disgusting people. I find what they're doing nasty, disgusting, etc. As far as the people themselves, I said in my experience the people who admitted to these fetishes have been unattractive or odd in some way, but that I realize that I can't speak about people I've never met and that I know not all "normal" people are honest about their fetishes. People hear what they want to though pixie

[udolipixie]

@taster I thought she said the acts were nasty, gross she didn't insult her boyfriend for liking them. Did she? I thought she didn't dislike the people who enjoyed the act. After all she's still with her boyfriend. She just won't do the things he likes because they gross her out. To me it's fine to dislike something. Not everyone likes the same things. If someone thinks giving oral to a woman is disgusting/gross/sick cool. If they think guys who do that are gross/sick not cool.

[udolipixie]

@QA So you're disgusted by the acts & you're not attracted to people who like them (unattractive)? ^ it's understandable to dislike something and be disgusted by something you dislike & not be attracted to someone who likes it because you find something they do distasteful I'd say work on thinking others who like different things are odd but at least they're just odd for liking something you could never do and not tied to the labels/feelings you associate with the act. Correct me if I'm wrong

[taster]

"Unattractive" & ""awkward" were part of her comments to I-Hedoniste...I will tell you that I consider myself to be neither. And, say all you wish about obnoxious males and their fetishes, there was not the slightest hint of compromise for either the present or the future in onslaught. The future looks bright...

[udolipixie]

@taster Read her comments. I didn't get the same disgust she directed at the fetish as she did the followers. Wrong, disgusting, nasty > unattractive, odd, awkward I thought her description of the people was her way of her not being attracted to them becauseshe saw them as wrong for her. I'm more worried about her 'WTF is wrong with people' comment than that one. I could be wrong. QA hasn't commented on if I was correct about her mindset. Future's never bright.

[Asker]

No no no. I don't have an opinion on someone just because they like something I think is disgusting. I meant in the past I noticed the people who happened to like those things were physically unattractive in some way or had an odd or awkward vibe in general, socially. I don't care if someone likes these things my boyfriend does and he's not unattractive in my eyes at all and he's not socially odd or awkward.

[taster]

I have a suggestion...QA responded to my answer...I am willing to answer her question...if QA will then comment that she is aware that urine is clean, sterile & non-toxic..I will drop the whole matter...

[udolipixie]

@QA So it's likejust noticing traits found in everyone? Like I notice a guy whose unattractive, odd, socialky awkward then I notice from a certain group of guys most are unattractive, odd, socialky awkward. It's not the fact that the guys belong to the group that they have those traits it's that to me I find most belonging to that group had those traits? ^ Same situation?

[Asker]

Yes, exactly like that. Except I know I can't say most everywhere are that way, just the ones I personally have encountered who were open and honest about it. But yes exactly like that. @taster (btw your name takes on a whole new meaning now...) I already know that about urine. I'm still not into playing with it, that's gross IMO.

[taster]

U figured out my name eh? That is good...Pixie, of course, has known about that for months..."I already know that about urine" das ist sehr gut, ja? But, what I wish from you is to acknowledge that publicly (which I guess, in a way, you already have) for those who have not your acumen in biology...I feel that it is a fair request...

[taster]

Anyone that denigrates others and does it behind the shield of anonymity is suspect...suspect in multiple ways.

[Asker]

You're joking right ? Having a screenname doesn't show the world who you are, you're still anonymous. Posting as anonymous prevents me from getting unwanted emails or chats, or being blocked for silly reasons. It's the Internet, get a grip. I have my own opinions, I'm not turned on by these fetishes and I find them disgusting. I'm not blind - I noticed trends in social/physical aspects. There's nothing suspect about it. We are not going to like the same things, accept it and move on with life.

[taster]

Nobody expects other people to have the same fetishes as they do...it is all about how your partner deals (or is unable to) with it...

[Asker]

Okay, so what is exactly your problem? What was that last comment for? I've hardly denigrated anyone here, I expressed my dislike for an action, and I admitted a prejudice that I had, which also admitting that I know not everyone falls under those prejudices that I had, my boyfriend being one of them. And how am I anymore suspect than you are ? We don't know you at all, all we see is a lame pic provided by gAg and a sn. Even if we saw your pic, we still wouldn't know who you are as a person. So...?

[taster]

Often times we find out that the world is not the way we thought it was...Whether I know the real you or whether you know the real me is irrelevant...only what my grasp of the world is and what your grasp of the world is...Your view of world will change...

[Asker]

So I'll wake up one day and like piss? Really? You're now coming off as ignorant and arrogant in my eyes to assume that because someone doesn't like what you like that their world view is somehow going to change...all because they don't have the same fetishes that you have. My own parents would probably say much harsher things about you than I have. They're almost 50, and set in their ways. Are they going to wake up and like p*ss too? Lmao you're a joke and I think you're just poking me anyway

[taster]

Of course I don't think you will wake up one day and like piss...you don't even have any tolerance for it in others. I was the way I am by the time I was 13..."parents" ..did you lie about your age to get an account on here? I might be harsh about your parents...I am older than they are after all...

[Belgie]

Not really, because when I say I'm open to anything (except scat), I actually mean it. So I've never had a partner confess a kink to me, and then gone "EWWW!".

And since I have kinks of my own, it's another reason I couldn't be interested in some inexperienced virgin, because she'd have the same kind of reaction as you. If you think kink is a little light spanking between some hair pulling... no. You might as well say vanilla is your favorite flavour of ice cream.

[Asker]

What is scat?

[Asker]

And oh yeah definitely, I'm very vanilla, and Happy about it. lol So not into that other stuff. Personal taste :)

[Belgie]

Anything scatological.

[Asker]

Oh ew I just looked it up. WTF is wrong with people ugh. I'll never think of myself as nasty or kinky again. I'm an angel compared to all this sh*t O.o

[Kain6th]

All I know is QA someday you are gonna want something totally new from the menu. The same old sex positions, routines can really get stale after awhile, so that's why people bring in new ideas, even if they sound rather taboo.

[l-hedoniste]

Good point. In addition to being valuable in its own right, a little freaky now and then keeps things interesting, too. It's why I don't deal with totally vanilla people anymore; not only are they usually judgmental, but deadly dull as well.

[Asker]

Well... Lol I don't think not wanting to have crazy sex makes me dull. Unless all you're about is sex and that's all you have going for you, then I can totally understand a comment like that.

[l-hedoniste]

Why would someone kinky not be normal? *Most* of the women I have known were kinky, the only question was one of degree. I've seen no reason to think that any of them weren't normal. Do you?

All that's really required is a conversation about what you will do, what you might do, and what you won't do. Then you decide whether you're willing to live with what's left or not.

[Asker]

Idk the people I've known personally who were into things like that were either unattractive or awkward, odd, in some way. I haven't met the girls you were with though so I can't say anything about them although I did have that prejudice about people like that. Really though you never know what people do behind closed doors unless they're honest about it and not everyone is. And we did have that talk, that was the basis of my question...I'm not doing that stuff its gross to me.

[xperience]

lmfao wow

[Asker]

Wow at me being so vanilla or at him being such a freak? :D

[doman]

I had a similar problem with a girl. She was great, best girlfriend I ever had, but she was sexually much more vanilla than me. I thought maybe with time things might change, or that I could just except it, but eventually I had to call it off, and the sexual thing had a lot to do with it. For us freaky people, sexual compatibility means a lot.

[taster]

Not sexually compatible with me...>>>>>>>>fail>>>>>>>>:(

[Asker]

Sorry babe :/ why what are you into?

[taster]

As part of a severe oral fixation...I love to give my females oral and receive their pee...

[Anonymous]

oh, school girl

[Asker]

What does that mean?

[Anonymous]

My ex used to get eaten out and banged by her German Shepherd. Also, her and her brother used to practice stuff on each other sexually and she wanted him to join in a threesome with us (I've done stuff with guys).. etc.