My girlfriend does nothing when we are having sex or fooling around. WTH?

She just lays there, let's me to all of the work, only occasionally offers tips and then orgasms.

Then, she just stops. She almost never reciprocates. The few times that she does try to give me the hand job she just stops after a few minutes, says she's tired, and then rolls over leaving me with an awkward boner as we try to snuggle.

She pretty much always leaves me hanging and then acts pouty and hurt when I mention it. I kind of just want to say, "Listen, you're beautiful and I like pleasing you, but you need to do more in bed."


So, how can I get her to do more in bed without being a total jerk?

Updates:
The consensus here is that I should talk to her about it. When, where, and how should I do it?
 

What's Your Opinion?

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What Girls Said 7

What Guys Said 6

  • Selected as most helpful

    So, how can I get her to do more in bed without being a total jerk?

    Get her to enjoy it.

    Ask her if there's anything she wants to do or stop doing..looks like she's not too thrilled about handjobs


    Find out if she likes sex.

    She could just not be interested hencewhy she lays there.


    Tell her you won't think of her as a slut.

    Some girls play fish because they think sex makes them slutty


    Find out if she's even attracted to you

    Being your girlfriend doesn't mean she finds you attractive some girls trade attraction for stability or personality

    • @strobe

      That makes no sense since those girls you're talking about are usually with good guys because they traded attraction for personality or stability.


      So they're not complaining about finding a good guy since they have one they're usually complaining about not being attracted to him & trying to force attraction or make it grow.


      lol nice cliched good guys lose argument

    • @QA

      Do it when you two are alone, don't get physical, try to set her at ease by taking her out for some fun beforehand

    • What kills me is the girls that always whine about never finding a good guy, but ignore every one of them that walks across them or treats them like sh*t while they date the good looking prick


      There we go...my brain woke up for a few minutes

    • Show Older
  • Youre probably not turning her on or she's just not attracted to you.

    • ouch...



      very blunt and to the point :(

  • So simple...start being dominant. You come first, then get her off. THAT is her incentive.

    • Next time, I'm going to play dead and let her do me first. I like that idea!

  • damn that sucks. I hate girls like that. it should be equal from both parties. you need to tell her if she don't start doing more its over. or that your going to stop pleasing her.

    • im subserviant I like pleasing the guy that's what gets me off

    • Yeah, but everyone is different. I'm on the bottom 9/10 times, but I buck my hips and meet his thrusts and move in unison. I don't just lie there. But I know a lot of girls that enjoy lying on their backs and having the guy do the work.

    • ha I'm the complete opposite

    • Show Older
  • You're basically her B*tch.


    I would get out because I know for a fact that no doubt, if you do try to talk to her about it, she's not gonna like it, I mean by all means try and say something, but she's not gonna like what you're trying to say and she probably won't show it that much, but deep on the inside, she's raging and hurt that you even been thinking about it.


    Try to tell her but don't sugar coat it, go for it like a raw egg, and say "I want more from you in bed, can you do that, babe?" or however you wanna say it.

    Next time you guy's have sex, and she still doesn't put any effort in, dump her ass, I assure you a man like you, needs more than a flat tire, or whatever you wanna compare her to.

    Good Luck in setting things straight with her (:

  • do you talk about sex? mention what you like . you said she gives you tips... maybe you should give her some...

    try and be positive , talk about what you would like versus what you don't like...

    • Well, if I can't get her to open up and do more in bed, then how am I going to get her to talk about it more openly when it's not on the table?

  • I think you should just be totally honest. Get straight to the point and don't beat around the bush. You should be able to talk about it, sex is an important part of a functioning adult relationship. I personally don't think that what you want to say makes you sound like a jerk.

    • Do not do it before or after sex. I repeat not before or after. Approach the subject delicately when you are both comfortable and in a non threatening environment. Remember to remind her she's beautiful and you just want to get closer as a couple. When? Asap, don't put it off.

  • It takes 2 to tango, not one.

  • You are her doormat. Her slave. She feels that she can easily get another man to do what you "get" to do to her. Dump her and show HER how expendable SHE is. She does not care about pleasing you. And you are worried about looking like a jerk. If you bring it up she will say or eventually say that all you do is whine and complain about it and she is sick of hearing about it or will turn it all around on you and make you seem like the "bad" guy-the selfish guy

  • That's pretty bad, I would just talk to her about it and see what she says, you never know what reasons she could have for not being more interactive.

    • @ Update...Do it right after she does that to you again. Give her a chance to do something different before comdeming her lol...Joking.

  • I hate to be a total **** on this, but both of my relationships got to this point, and as you could see, both are now over. It's probably an emotional distance, you need to connect more, or she may not even have feelings for you. That's just my experience though.

  • She sounds either selfish, or like she doesn't appreciate you. Either way I would find a new girlfriend. This behavior is not acceptable.

    • I think it might be both. I'm going to try talking to her about it like the girls said.

  • Take heart she at least orgasms. That's a decent start at least for your ego.

    Try a position that she has to do something. Doggy-style might be a semi-decent transitioning point where she can figure out how to do something. Cowgirl style kind of forces her into something. If nothing else then I have to laugh at the idea that she is using you for sex and just wants to get off with the least amount of effort possible.

    It could be also that she just doesn't really get turned on by doing anything...sucks I know. But hopefully doing a different position might get her into having to do something.

    • A friend of mine refers to those as B.O.B.s

      Battery Operated Boyfriends.


      The way I figure is if she really does pull the whole dead fish thing while having sex, that's a pretty big issue that needs to be brought up. If she wants to pout then she can grow up an old unsexed prude - not many guys out there (even rapists included) have much fun having sex with a girl who just lays there. Not everything revolves on sex, but as others have said - it is an issue that needs to be addressed.

    • It's like what you said. It's almost to the point where I want to tell her that she needs a vibrator and not a boyfriend.

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