Considering 1st anal, with a big man?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing this wonderful man, in a casual benefits kind of way. We are using each other to discover some "first" experiences. This is a situation that works for us, so please don't judge that. We may not be in love, but we trust each other, which is what matters. I recently lost my virginity to him. He is uncut and big in both length and girth, so I bled the first couple times. I didn't the last 2 times though. We now want to try anal sex. I'm just afraid that I will hurt too much. I trust him to take care of my body, and know he will stop should I tell him too, but I do really want to try this, and enjoy it ;) What can I do to make sure my body is ready to receive him? I know to use a lot of lube and to relax, but is there anything else? are there any certain positioning that make entry easier? Any tricks of the trade, so to speak? Any certain types of lube, etc? Also, I have my period (which is very light due to birth control) so I might have a little blood in front. I don't wear tampons. Should this matter? Also, I'm am a heavy girl, should that make a difference in anything (I know that sounds silly, but I still want to ask). Is there anything I should be warned to expect? I really do want to enjoy this experience as much as I can, so I want to be prepared.

[Minxxe]

how old are you? if you recently lost your virginity to this man I would not suggest trying anal yet for a while, at least not til you learn the capacity at which your body is at it's fullest arousal. Anal will hurt whether he is big or small, I love anal when the time is right, but there is a lot to consider if you don't already know (I presume you would know, if that's your true age):

your fibre intake that day, your evacuation routine, the potential mess - do you really want to risk sh*tting yourself in front of your mate, as that's how it feels on withdrawal, being as you're intimate but seemingly, not that close from how you describe your relationship.

If you insist on trying anal so soon after being broken-in then I would advise trying missionary position in the first instance as it allows face to face contact with your man, therefore line of communication is easier as he can also see your facial expression. if you prefer to try it doggy-style then please do make sure he has fingered you and stretched you fully (gently) prior to trying to penetrate you with a big cock. Many females think that if they have used a dildo in their arse then it's the same thing. NO it's not, having someone's full weight behind the thrust is what makes the difference. On all fours, you tell him that you will control any thrusting until you're comfortable enough to have him thrust. remember the anal canal is not meant to be penetrated, so please be gentle with your body until you recognise your stimulation levels. In any case, I think it will be difficult to get the whole penis in on the first go. You could masturbate yourself while he is easing in - you will not notice the discomfort as much. Not everyone enjoys anal the very first time (if you can get past the pain barrier) so be prepared it may not be enjoyable for you unless you have a high threshold for pain and a very patient partner.

as for period sex, me and my man love it, being only 50% blood and 50% water it's not as "gross/nasty" as people like to whine about. being a heavy girl has no bearing at all on sex except that he has a little meat to hold onto while f***ing you and he will not feel like you're too delicate - which is a good thing for both of you.

[Asker]

I am 32 (yes, really. I'm a late bloomer lol)

[Minxxe]

nothing wrong with a late bloomer hun ;0), but please be patient you may not like it right away. personally anal always hurts me but, like you, I wanted to enjoy it and see what it was all about. just make sure he doesn't pull any sudden p*rn moves on you, they have the added assistance of cutting scenes, anal desensitising gels and anal douche's. have fun

[Asker]

We went for it. It did hurt, yes, until he was fully in there. Then just as I started to think "HEL-LO! that's different!", he shot off lol I guess he was excited lol But though it did hurt to start, just from that last part, I can certainly see the potential for enjoyment. I look forward to trying again. Does it hurt less after the first time?

[Minxxe]

personally I don't think it hurts less unless you're in the flow of it and enjoying the thrusting. I think you become better able to deal with the pain and discomfort because you know now that it is bearable and temporary ;o) good for you!

[genevieve]

I honestly think that if you just lost your virginity 2 weeks ago, now trying anal would too many firsts in a short period of time, but ok.

You being on your period and not wearing tampons is just fine. I could be weird if you would wear tampons though.

You already stated the most important things trust, lube and relaxation. I heard doggy isn't so good for firsts. I only had one first so I don't know, but spoonie will likley make you feel more loved and taken care of, which might help.

When he goes in, it will probably feel like you'll have to poop. Also going in and out is the most sensetive part. When he is in, it doesn't feel that bad but tell him to stop there for a moment before he starts moving. When you push out a little it often feels more comfortable

[Asker]

I have an IUD, that I got to lighten my cycle. It has mostly stopped em, except for random spotting. I didn't think it would be much of a deal, but there was more blood than I thought. possibly because he was so deep that the pressure against my cervix encouraged more out... I did try to push out, to relax the muscles. I did find it a bit difficult to do so. We did do doggy, just for ease of access, found it hard to relax my legs that way, & therefore my rear. Lesson learned for next time. :)

[Anonymous]

I find using toys first during the for play is a big help. My husband is 8" so it pays to warm up first. But my biggest tip is a vibe on your clit or in you. It makes the orgasms incredible. He went off as you started to like it. Yeh guys do that. They really can't help but get excited. But that's half the fun of it

[l-hedoniste]

STOP. You're not ready.

Your first anal needs to be *with yourself*. Get a vibrator, some gloves, and some lube, and go at yourself. Figure out how you are going to manage this. Then get some SMALL toys and again with the vibe, figure out what works for you. This is all in preparation for when you will guide him, *in great detail*, how to handle you.

This. Is. Your. Responsibility.

If you let him go banging around back there without showing him how to do it *your way*, it's going to go badly. This is true in sex generally, but particularly with anal play; the more bad experiences you have, the more tense you'll become, and the more tense you become, the more bad experiences you'll have. Screw this up and you'll wind up turning yourself off for a good long while.

[Minxxe]

excellent answer ;0)

[Asker]

a very reasonable answer. thanks for the advice. I didn't have any toys to play with, but before I went to him, I at least explored a little and used my fingers. I certainly understood the appeal :) When I was with him, I told him how it needed to be, and he was gentle as he could be. It still hurt alot, particularly at the very start, but it didn't turn me off of it. I see the potential for more enjoyment, once I'm more adjusted. It was certainly not a bad experience, for either of us.

[sigsauer45]

Well you most of it down for your first time to have anal sex but if you what make it easy to let him put him in to you id for you to be on top. Witch will make this easy. The next thing you can do for this is get a toy that small at first and lube and work your way up with big,ear and big,ear toy to open your anus up to reeves his penis witch will make it inter you that more easy and it won,t hurt you that much and have him use a one finger then 2 to open you up and that just about it.

[Zelar]

u already know the basics. just make sure you are properly lubricated and ask him to go slow until you're comfortable with it.

[Zelar]

i also want to add that doggie helped me my first time. the key is relaxing :)

[irykiryk]

I've read doggie isn't the best for first time anal, but spooning is.

[Zelar]

everybody's different , her and her partner will need to see what's best for them

[Asker]

we tried doggy, so that he could see and direct better for the first time. but I found this position made me tense my legs more, and my ass. So next time, I think we'll try another way and see how it goes. He did go slow and stop when I wanted him too, which made me more comfortable (as did the lube!)

[Maestr077]

You can consider doing an enema, it reduces the chance of some nasty situations and will ease your pain as well. Anal will always hurt even if just a little, but it's supposed to be a "good" kind of pain.

[genevieve]

it doesn't have to hurt, it might feel a bit weird at first, but no pain usually

[Asker]

I can enjoy the good kind of pain (he's huge and I'm tight), it can be wonderful, but I'm hoping that the pain from anal will lighten at least a little, next time, so I can relax a little more and fully enjoy it. I'm leery of enemas, though, as the research I've done says they can be bad for you and hurt your insides more. I don't really know much about that kinda of stuff though.

[Maestr077]

The intestines have a flora that should not be washed reguraly as it kills the bacteria in it so you're right about that, I mean you can do it but it's nothing that should be done regularly. IF you use just water it's not a big deal but I would advise you to consult an health professional on that.

[cathy23]

No way., Not for a while.

[Anonymous]

That poop aroma gonna be so romantic

[Anonymous]

Start off small and let him use a finger, then maybe a toy and then onto his penis

Doing it gradually will probably make it easier for you

He should wear a condom as anal is more likely to spread STD's and you probably don't want to get sh*t on his d***

I've heard cowgirl can be better as you can control the movement and thrusting