Should pedophiles really be condemned? Is it their choice to be a pedophile?

OK it's time fora serious question folks (yes I do do those, lol) OK as a disclaimer let me state this: I greatly despise Pedophiles and child predators of all types. I'm asking this because I'm curious about some things You look up the word 'Pedophile' on Dictionary.com and it merely defines it as- an adult who is sexually attracted to young children. Notice, no where in that definition is there anything indicating an action. In other words they are merely 'attracted' to them. So it should be worth stating that there is a definable difference between a Pedophile and a Child-rapist/predator. The former is merely attracted with no actions, the latter is an act. So now I wonder. Let's compare it to being Gay/Lesbian for a minute. If you are gay/lesbian you are just about born that way. You didn't 'choose' to be gay/lesbian you just are. Might it also be OK to conclude that a Pedophile also does not 'choose' to be attracted to kids and just is? The difference of course lies in their object of attraction. Gay/lesbians are attracted to adults who are consensual and rational. Pedophiles are attracted to those who are not quite consensual rational. So even though a Pedophile may not choose to be the way they are, we can still condemn them IF they act on their attraction and entire into becoming a 'child rapist/predator.' However if the Pedophile NEVER acts on his attraction to children, and cannot choose not to be attracted to them, can we--should we--condemn that person for merely being who they are? I wonder if we are condemning people for being something they can't help being just as people condemn gays for being what they are. Is that not fair? *wonders how many Chris Hanson jokes I'm gonna get :-\ * Offer your opinions folks?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • One of my closest friends is a pedosexual.
    Yes I said "pedo sexual" not "pedophile"
    It's really the same thing, but the point is that he separates himself from all the raised questions and accusations by making this slight change in title. He's been in therapy since he was 13 and told his mom he was feeling uncomfortable because he was having sexual thoughts about his six year old sister's best frown who was also six years old. His sexuality never evolved to match his maturity physically and that's all it means. He's never attacked anyone. He's 2years older than me and he's a really great guy. He just happens to have an immature sexuality and he remedies that by going to therapy 3times a week and taking anti-anxiety medication. I don't know exactly what he's on, but it seems to help. But it's not perfect. He still has an active labido and sometimes he gets insanely depressed because he feels like a monster for something he can't help. We used to sleep together and when we did he'd insist on being blindfolded because then he could imagine whatever he wanted and not feel like a freak. He's a wonderful person, his sexuality is out of his control and I hate hearing people talk, saying "all pedophiles are repulsive pigs" and "wastes of human life" and all that, because pedophiles/"pedosexuals" and ephebophiles aren't the problem. Rapists are the problem. And having a certain sexuality doesn't make you a pervert, just like having blonde hair doesn't really make you dumb. Stereotypes aren't fun.

  • I have thought about this extensively, especially because I've studied the criminal justice system quite a bit.

    I agree with you. Pedophilia in itself shouldn't be encouraged (obviously) but those with a sexual attraction for chlildren shouldn't be attacked and condemned when they haven't acted upon their urges. I agree, I think that some people are born pedophiles (much like homosexuality) but I also think it can arise from upbringing/environment/etc. I think that pedophiles who resist the attraction and seek counselling/help should be praised and admired, because it takes a lot of courage to fight against who you are/what you feel the need to do.

    I feel conflicted about defending pedophiles. I have nephews and young cousins who I would stop at nothing to protect from this kind of thing, but at the same time it's so ridiculously unfair and way too arbitrary to treat someone terribly for having bad thoughts, even if they are struggling to overcome them.

    • Nice, I agree :-)

    • You, sir, are improving my BA percentage! :) thank you

    • Good answer!

    • Show All
  • You bring up some good points, and I definitely think the difference between having an attraction and acting on it is worth noting. However, I don't think being a pedophile is the same as being homosexual. It's true that both cases are deviations from what is considered normal (and what is, admittedly, the most functional sexual state, at least where reproduction is concerned). But homosexuals are attracted to other people who are adults, who have gone through puberty and are physically, mentally, and emotionally ready to be involved in sex and seen in a sexual light. Even if they are attracted to their own gender instead of the opposite, their desire is targeting people who are their equals in maturity and who share their interest. A prepubescent child is not designed for sex with anyone, regardless of age or gender. Pedophilia crosses more boundaries than homosexuality does, and there is a far greater potential for harm.

    • Right and I think I pointed that out in my questioning, I was comparing the 'being born that way' part of both. The difference lies in their objects of affection.

    • I have a harder time grasping the idea that a pedophile was born a pedophile than I do with the idea of a homosexual being born that way. Pedophilia is a fetish, and I always thought that fetishes tended to develop later on for one reason or another. But I don't know for sure. You could very well be right. I'm sure scientists have studied the topic, there may be some information out there. But even so, I don't think I could bring myself to hire a pedophile babysitter.

    • As for the actual subject of whether or not pedophiles who have not acted on their desires should be condemned, I don't believe so. For one thing, it's impossible to prove if they haven't taken action. For another, as long as they don't let their feelings affect others in any way, their sexual desires are their own private business. They should be judged only for their choices and behavior.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Condemning pedophiles who never act on their attraction is not only wrong, but dangerous.

    In a good world with good people, we would encourage pedophiles to seek help, so that they have some support in their struggle to avoid sex with children. If we gave these people an alternative to sneaking around, we would find them in treatment instead of schools and churches and playgrounds.

    Moreover, by condemning them, we instruct them on how they can expect us to treat them. The example we make of one carries to all the rest, so until they can all come out, none will.

    Worst, the only people who get the best of our resources and attention are the child-rapists: the most damaged, the most uncontrollable, the most manipulative, the most dangerous. They have no problem seeking treatment--nothing to lose, right?--while the people who have a hope of controlling themselves are forced into a life of secrecy and isolation, for as long as they can hold it together.

    So, briefly: our time, money and attention all go to the people we are least able to rehabilitate. No wonder we get what we deserve. only it's too bad that children must suffer for our stupidity.

    • Good answer.

  • Does anyone really make a conscious choice on what they are sexually attracted to? If they haven't done anything to children, they shouldn't be weeded out and condemned. If they do, they should be put in jail, obviously.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • No, because being a pedophile is having an attraction, not acting it out.

    However, the danger lies within sch harbored thoughts. Those thoughts more than often lead to actions, actions which CANNOT under any circumstance be justified. Robbing a child of their innocence and violating them is absolutely a choice. A choice I find unforgivable.

    • Ty for the input. I agree. :-)

  • In my opinion, it's all about whether they act on those desires. No, they don't choose to be pedophiles -- it's useless to condemn them when they haven't hurt anyone. However, if they act on their attraction, it becomes a whole other issue.

  • dude I have been trying to preach this for forever. yes I think it's wrong to have sex with a child cause the child can't consent but simple attraction shouldn't be punished. you can't really help who you're attracted to. and for those who think that sexual attraction *is* a choice: you're wrong go away. (:

  • So long as they never act on their feelings, then there is not a problem in my mind. I am sure there are many pedophiles out there who keep their desires to themselves and would never act on them. It's the second that they choose to act on their feelings by either watching child p*rn or having inappropriate relations of any sort with a child that they become a sick monster.

  • is it a choice to be a murderer. yes even if you have urges its still wrong. morally. some people have urges to cheat on their girlfriend, but they don't because its wrong.

    • Wrong morally? OK, but should we condemn the pedophile for merely being attracted?

  • Studies show there are a percentage of pedophiles that are born that way, they can't choose who or what they are attracted too. Pedophilia is actually considered a mental disorder... But just because the person can't choose what they are attracted to doesn't mean they can act out on it. Should we condemn pedophiles if they have done nothing wrong? I.m.o, no. Should we separate the ones who act out on their desires from children? Yes.

  • Aren't they thinking about changing the name, "pedophile", to something else?, I think I heard something about this on the radio today.

    • Are they? Haven't heard that. Might be necessary, people confuse the terms all the time (just look at the answer below you, lol)

  • It's a choice.

  • No. Definitely not

  • Haha. well I think so because it's just wrong

  • Are you saying that anybody that commits a crime, but that has a mental health issue or condition should go free...well that will free up a lot of space in prison...

    • Did you read? Pedofile = attraction no action. Childrapist/predator= attraction + action. I'm not saying that at all. Don't confuse my words.

  • Unfortunately for them they are sick people who need to be removed permanently