Do you think sex is necessary to have a deep, durable, unconditional relationship?

I am so tired of hearing people say that they cannot have a certain type of relationship without sex. I do not think sex is necessary in a relationship. In fact, I think it's ridiculous and a bit pathetic that the people of our generation act like they can't keep their legs closed to save their life! People are acting like sex is life support! Sex is clearly not necessary to form a bond considering a lot of guys screw girls and could care less about them! Trust me, I've seen many cousins and male friends do it. It's more emotional for females, but for guys it's just all about sticking their d*cks in something because most of them are just horny pigs who don't know how to act if they don't get orgasms. You girls can come up here and talk about "Sex is just there to deepen the relationship blah blah blah" Yeah right! I have been around so many males in my life I know that is not fact for them all! For most of them, they just want to get orgasms and if they don't get it from you, they'll find someone who will spread her legs or get on her knees and suck his d***. If sex was such a reliable way to deepen the relationship, then why do men cheat and go get sex else where? Because it doesn't matter how much sex you have, sex is not going to make your relationship deep. Ugh this generation sucks Which do you think would make a bond deeper and stronger? Sex - giving it up for the sake of pleasing someone else because maybe you simply don't have what it takes to make your relationship all that deep without spreading your legs. or... Seeing if a man or woman would actually stick around if you chose not to have sex with them. Seeing if someone actually feels you are valuable enough to sacrifice just one form of pleasure and stick around because at the end of the day, they want you even if you won't sleep with them. Hmmm I wonder how many of you would be wanted the same if you refused to have sex...? Now that's a testament of a deep relationship! What is your opinion on this? Also, how old are you? I am 19
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I'm so sorry everyone for being a bitcy tyrant when I asked this question. I was hungry, sleep deprived, and not in the mood to put up with people making assumptions about who I am, my past, and why I asked this
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I think you have a skewed perception of the situation, or, at the very least, what you're gathering from observations of others.

    Sex isn't always something that strengthens the relationship. I know a couple of asexual people who enjoy each others' company so much that they consider themselves to be in a relationship, but there's no sex involved and that's the way they like it. However, most people are sexual beings with sexual desires. This is simply evolutionary in nature. The very act of finding a partner, subconsciously, comes with the prospect of procreation (in a primal sense, and generally), and it is for that reason that sex is so prevalent. Without it, I'd be quite willing to say that we wouldn't be here.

    Sex in a relationship, for most people, is important -- and it, along with other forms of physical, intimate contact, has been biologically proven to strengthen psychological relationships. This is a fact true for many people, but there are some anomalies. If it doesn't apply to you, then fine -- but it's disrespectful and closed-minded to criticize everyone else for being human.

    I, for instance, enjoy sexual contact. It's fantastic! But right now, I'm in an LDR with a fantastic girl, and we haven't had the opportunity to even come close to being intimate. And I'm okay with that -- we're connecting emotionally on profound levels, and sex can wait.

    As for your two choices, I've got problems with your premise, so I'll go for each one individually.

    "Sex - giving it up for the sake of pleasing someone else because maybe you simply don't have what it takes to make your relationship all that deep without spreading your legs."

    Most people won't just have sex with absolutely anyone. Some will, and many, many, many won't. And, like I've said, sex benefits your relationship (most of the time). You make it sound like waiting for sex is a virtue -- and I happen to agree -- but many don't, and that's absolutely fine. It does not reveal any character deficit whatsoever.

    "Seeing if a man or woman would actually stick around if you chose not to have sex with them. Seeing if someone actually feels you are valuable enough to sacrifice just one form of pleasure and stick around because at the end of the day, they want you even if you won't sleep with them."

    There's actually a lot of men that I know personally who would wait. But, this is conditional: if the girl is holding off of sex SOLELY for the purpose of appraising his loyalty, it's disrespectful and simply offensive. If a girl wasn't comfortable with sex and wanted to wait, then by all means, let her take all the time in the world.

    If the testament of a 'deep relationship' for you means not having sex, then by all means, proceed. But do not criticize others for having different values.

    • I don't think it's disrespectful and offensieve if a girl won't have sex with him to test his loyalty. Look at the guys in today's world! Can you really blame us? How are we supposed to differentiate from the pigs and the good guys? By testing their actions. I don't think there's anything wrong with testing his loyalty by seeing if he's just around to screw you or not.

    • Hm...I suppose you're right, in a way. I would be offended if a girl held off of sex with me simply to test me, but only because that is a sign that she doubts my genuineness and has a presupposition that I am some sort of perverse fiend. I think the best way to go about it is to not bring up the topic of sex until you feel secure that he is genuine. Any other comments on the rest of my answer?

    • I don't think it's about doubting YOUR genuineness as an individual. It's more so about the simple fact that there are a lot of guys out there who will put on a good act of false genuineness then screw girls over so we have to be smart about things to avoid certain outcomes. I'm not disrespecting others because I think it's ridiculous that people act like such idiots if they don't get some orgasms. It's annoying. I'm tired of hearing everyone obsess over sex when it's not even that big of a

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  • I'm 18 and a virgin

    I don't think sex is necessary but if I wait for a serious girlfriend which I intend to

    why shouldn't I have sex with her

    You can still love someone before marriage so what's the use in waiting

    I do think it is a sort of bonding and you just stereotype all guys because they want sex

    Sure some just wanna f*** each other but how does it harm you?

    You don't have to go out with these guys

    • I don't buy your excuse but, hey I don't care

Most Helpful Girls

  • I totally agree with you that a relationship does not need sex until marriage. I think that if a guy won't wait to have sex until marriage, he's not in the relationship for the girl, he's in it for his own pleasure. If he really loves her, she would be worth waiting for until the wedding nite. It really is as simple as that, people just don't want to believe it because then they have to put forth effort and self control, something that most people lack in today's society.

    I'm 16.

    • My point exactly! I think that's just some bs guys spew to get in a girl's pants and girls are just either too emotional or stupid to see that sex is not necessary to have a deep relationship. If what you have is all that deep, then you will be just as desirable without sex.

    • I think that is so true. If only everyone could understand this, there would be less heartbreak, in my opinion.

    • I agree. Sex complicates things and people who are dumb enough to act like sex is just physical are such idiots

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  • Sex isn't all about pleasure. When you love someone, it becomes a very intimate aspect of the relationship. It isn't THE thing that makes your relationship deep, it's just a very nice bonus. I love sharing that with my partner. Of course I don't rush into it and I make sure I trust him before having sex with him. If I have doubts about how he feels about me, I'm not going to have sex with him. However, withholding sex as a TEST of his love is not a sign of a healthy relationship.

    • Why do you think it's not a sign of a healthy relationship?

    • If he treats me well and doesn't give me any reason to think that he doesn't truly love me, I'm going to trust that he does (after being together for a long time, obviously). Sure, I've been hurt in the past, but I'm not going to be paranoid about HIM just because other guys were jerks.

    • Great response.

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  • It's not everything. Relationships shouldn't be based on the sex, but I do believe it creates a strong bond when added to an already good relationship. I couldn't see myself having a long term relationship without it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 7
  • Sex is necessary, yes. What else would keep two people together?

    • Wow...seriously?

    • Yes. That is the only thing different about being friends and being lovers. Of course it's what keeps people together. What else would you bother having a boyfriend for?

    • wow...daddy issues? there are many other reasons to have a boyfriend other than spreading your legs for him. If you approach men with the idea that there is no other reason for them to have you as their girlfriend, then you will get used and date a**holes.

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  • I think a man - woman relationship can not be deep enough if it is certain that there never will be any sex. After all, you need it at least to have children.

  • Not for me like sex is something I enjoy but I could absolutely be in a happy relationship with someone and never have sex with them.

  • No but I think sex can be a bonus to having a deep durable unconditional relationship

  • Well I'm 37 and I would much rather see where a realtionship would go off of just the person alone and see if a bond. could be. formed off of just being around that person

  • You are very ignorant. You are completley stereotyping guys. If ypu want a guy that cared about having sex then stop dating the ones thaf are just good looking and have morals and ethics.

    Plus sex IS an important part of a deep and unconditional relationship.

    • You don't know who I've dated! lol For most guys, what I have said is true. They are like horny little dogs who won't act right if they don't get their d*** sucked or f***ed. It's true. Sex does not equal unconditional, dumb ass! Otherwise, why do men cheat for sex?! Haven't you seen Jerry Springer? Sex can be found anywhere, it does not make a relationship unconditional and if it made it all that deep, guys wouldn't go cheat on other girls for sex duh

    • Why is it you think sex is so important for a deep, unconditional relationship?

    • i didn't say it EQUALS I said its an IMPORTANT PART. Sex is a part of bonding with your partner that you won't get doing anything else... The guys you've dated are probably guys with no personality and only good looking. Stop jumping to conclusions and false accusations. Not our fault you picked the wrong guys.

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  • No. Love is about sacrifice and compromise, the exact opposite of lust/sex. Too many greedy, selfish sheeple these days mistake lust for love. The huge difference in divorce rates in the western world and countries where sexual absistence is encouraged (and have arranged marriages) proves this further.

  • We dont have sex with my girlfriend. We dont even go swimming together. She says it is not right.

  • Yes, it is. It makes the bond a lot stronger than it would be without sex.

    • What do you think it is about sex that makes a bond stronger?

    • The whole experience really.

    • Okay but what about the experience? I'm challenging your idea...make me believe you.

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  • I do think it's necessary. Clearly sex isn't everything, but it's huge part because it brings you guys closer together on a level you wouldn't have just with talking or cuddling.

    • I think that's just something someone who, for whatever reason, is intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally incapable of creating greater ways to get closer to someone would say. Cuddling and talking are not the only possible ways to get closer to someone LMAO