Girlfriend is almost embarrassed about sex?

[Anonymous]

me and my girlfriend have a pretty good sex life, when we get to have sex its amazing (her words) but due to distance we only see each other once a week or so but for the rest of the time we just text and stuff. however whenever I mention anything dirty she looks almost embarrassed by it and doesn't continue it. I know she has a very low sex drive, whilst I have a very high one which can cause some problems as I don't see her all week and when we do get into bed together I want sex as I Haven't seen her all week, sometimes we do, sometimes we don't..if she's on her period (which apparently can happen a cpl of times a month if stressed or so I've found out) for example last night I asked her if she would send a naughty pic, she just dodged the question, so I asked again and she said she wasn't in the mood which is fair enough but she never is in the mood! its not that she didn't send me a picture but that she has probs sent a picture to an ex boyfriend before..i mean we've been dating for 6 months...in fact I think I'm always the last person (bf wise) to experience things with her I told her this last night and got no reply. she doesn't excite me, I love the sex, but everything surrounding sex is boring, I never get any horny messages, pictures or anything to get me going where we are away from each other...now id never cheat and I do love her but god is there anyway of trying to spice up our love life outside of the bedroom? you might have the same low sex drive/opinions as my gf? please help explain why to me? because I feel guilty when I try for sex or say anything sexual and it shouldn't be like this! thanks

[toulouse]

i did not realizenaked pics is a reqiurement. she may never want to do that. you should not be frustrated with her as tho she's not doing something 'she should'

its something YOU want, not her.

you have a need for pics, she has a need for you to stop harassing her, to do something she is clearly uncomfortable with.

youe looking at this ONLY from your own perspective.

you are trying to CHANGE her.

if its intolerable break up. of she does something she's ucomfortible with, shell feel violated, or degraded.. & you guys won't last.

shes not doing anything wrong. she just may be wrong for what you want. understand the difference.

don't make her feel like she has problems because you are not horny.

if you are bored out of the bedroom, it means you primarily interested in sex. so therefore obviously you should not be with someone, you think has a low sex drive.

stop trying to change a rock into a stick.

you shouldn't feel guilty for 'wanting' it, but you really have no choice here, either wait, or break up. don't pressure her-thats wrong. that's my opinion. I'm sure lots of guys will say just push her a little more each time, send her pics etc..

i think at this point its been 6 months,. this is who she is, for now. she may change on her own accord.

also id talk to her about this. not antagonistically, not to place blame. just to find out why she is not comfortable& if she sees it changing in the future or is this what you should expect.

depending on the talk and how you feel, you may find you guys are simply not compatible.

[Anonymous]

I was the exact same with my first boyfriend.I think it is because I had very low body confidence back than and sometimes I would actually take a sexy/naked pic to send to him but I'd look at it and just see a fat disgusting blob and couldn't stand the thought of him seeing it.Then that would make me think why the hell would he want sex with me so I wouldn't be in the mood at all when we were together in bed.I have been doing a lot of work on myself and my new boyfriend id brilliant,he make me feel like the sexiest woman ever and I'm very horny around him.I think it is most likely a confidence problem and if you can help her with that things should improve a lot

[Asker]

i don't think its that, I mean she's models so I don't think she has an issue with her body, I just can't work out why?

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe it has something to do with trust issues.It might be best just to talk to her about it ans explain how you feel

[Asker]

no we both trust each other, but she is very subborn so it could be something like because I asked for it she's not doing it because I want it :S

[Opinion Owner]

Well then why not try some reverse psychology!Next time you guys are together let her think that you have no interest in sex at all,don't try anything.I bet she'll start wondering why and she'll be all over you by the end of the night ;-)

[greenbeans23]

^ you could try that. When me and my boyfriend are lying down and he hasn't initiated anything yet and is looking like he's not going to, I don't really know why but it's like I want him more and get super horny haha...so if you just lay in bed without trying anything maybe she will miss it and initiate something?

[greenbeans23]

Also I don't think I would send my boyfriend pictures. Some girls just wouldn't be comfortable with that. I wouldn't have a problem dirty texting or whatever though but maybe she just feels she will sound silly sending you that type of text.

[Anonymous]

Well you could go the nice guy route and just wait for her. I am in the same situation with my boyfriend as far as seeing each other once a week, trying to get things going, and me having a lower sex drive. If you make yourself available to her when she is in the mood she will come to you for help. I can send my boyfriend a text at any hour saying I need help "loving myself" and he will be calling me within minutes. I wouldn't push the photos and such because that is a very personal choice, but flirting is always a plus. My boyfriend makes me feel sexy which puts me in the mood. Start out with little things telling her how you miss her and the things you guys do in bed. For us a conversation about past experiences and what we look forward to in our sex life gets us started. It is really about making her comfortable enough. Start small and mean everything you say.

[Asker]

thanks I will try but like I said as soon as I go on to a sexy route, the topic will quickly change, and I could never imagine in a million years id get a text from my girlfriend saying I need help loving myself or something on those lines, id love it but would never happen..shes almost like a born again virgin at times haha