First time sex with a new partner?

[shyguy007]

Me and my girlfriend have only been dating for the last two months but we've been close friends for four years. We planned on taking it slow but last weekend we were out on a date and got spontaneous. We got a hotel room for the night but not with the intention of having sex, we shared a bed and said goodnight but one thing led to another and we ended up having sex, no one pressured anyone it was mutual. The sex was good but not amazing, it was our first time together and it was more in the heat of the moment than it was making love. My question is...Is it normal for the first time not to be amazing (Like butterflies)? we not in love yet but we do have really deep feelings for each other. Will it get better with time or am I worrying for nothing? We worried that we rushed it a bit but what my question in a nut shell is can intimacy go from 'sex' to 'love'? Also is it possible that the fact that we were good friends for so long affect our intimate relationship in a negative way?

[Roxy271]

First time sex can be awkward especially if it is with someone you have known for a while.. actually regardless of whether you know someone well or not. That is completely normal. There is a lot of pressure to perform and just butterflies, nervousness and what not. As you become more comfortable with the situation, and the more you do it, the more you will learn what is enjoyable for each other and it will get better.

In some instances, sex can be very passionate and sensual. It all depends on the level of comfort and attraction. I think you should openly discuss with your partner your feelings. I believe a friendship can still be forged after being intimate should you decide not to pursue a long term relationship.

[evilguri]

relax...its completely okay to feel like this...i couldn't get a orgasm for a long time when I first started to go out with my boyfriend. it frustrated him and he thought I wasn't sexaully attracted to him. its different now...i learnt how to be calm with him and we have a great time. intially things are weird because its all new...you guys were friends...friends and lovers are two different things. just relax and let things unfold..

[Ugliness]

You now realize, and to all virgins, sit up and take notice... a first time need not be as amazing as you hear depicted on TV or in movies or what have you. It can be clumsy and awkward. Trying to control your body... trying to find your way around your partner's body. It's not "wrong" at all but just because there are no butterflies or fireworks or anything doesn't make it wrong.

Sometimes, over time, it actually gets better and that's not such a bad thing.

[NerdInDenial]

There have been studies that women will enjoy and be able to orgasm once they fall in love with the person. It's normal that the first time is not going to be amazing because you don't know what turns her on. Once you communicate with her and know how she ticks, you will have a better time.

[Anonymous]

It already has affected it, I can bet you she's internalizing over it as well. Just don't try to think ahead by 10 steps. Scale it back down to 1.

It's normal to feel nervous about what happened, because you care for each other as well as each others opinion of yourself. Give it some time before you start getting concerned.