If a guy talks brings up sex a lot in the conversation does he just want sex?

[Anonymous]

So I'm flirting with this guy I've just got to know in the last few days. We were hanging out and cuddling in his room until early in the morning. I told him I haven't really dated before so he knows my experience is close to none. But he brought the topic of sex a couple times, mentioning what types of condoms he has and bringing up the topic of a few ex girlfriends. He said he lost his virginity freshman year of high school too. One thing he said that was interesting was when he was tickling me playfully he was looking at me sweetly and said he liked watching my face and said it was fun like watching a girl's face when she comes. He also tried to convince me to stay the night but I went home eventually. I'm almost positive he knows I'm a virgin, he knows I haven't ever had a boyfriend. I just felt weird outright saying I was a virgin knowing he has so much experience, at least 3 girls :P Does this mean he just wants to get in my pants or is this his way of making me think about dating him? We haven't kissed yet but he seemed happy just to hang out and cuddle, at least for now. Also, should I tell him before or after we kiss that he is my first kiss? It's kind of embarrassing seeing as I'm 18 but I'm sure he would be happy to be the first guy. Thanks for any answers!

[MrOracle]

Nearly all guys want sex. Being a woman, you need to learn to assume that any guy that pays any extra attention to you would like to have sex with you. It's the simple, honest truth about men. Accept that (nearly) all men want sex.

But your question is: does he want JUST sex? That's a completely different question.

In general, guys who want JUST sex aren't very patient. Many won't wait for more than a week or two for it before they lose interest and move on. Some guys ("players" or "ladies' men") may not even wait an hour before moving on to a more likely candidate.

If a guy is sticking around, spending time with you, including non-sexual time (not making out or cuddling, etc.), then it's a pretty good bet that he is looking for a relationship and not JUST sex. The "JUST sex" guy would see all of that "hanging out", calling, texting, etc. as a hassle, not something he enjoys doing.

Now, remember what I said at the beginning. Just because a guy wants a relationship doesn't mean that this no longer applies. He still wants sex, and in fact, under modern societal standards, a "good" and "proper" man only has sex within relationsihps. So, he's going to want and expect sex as PART of the relationship, and society is giving that idea its blessing. So, you can safely assume that if this develops into a relationship, that he's going to assume and expect sex to be a part of that relationship, eventually, unless you've clearly and plainly told him otherwise. And that does NOT make him a "bad guy" or a "sex fiend", it makes him a man.

The important thing for you is to be honest and up-front about what YOU want. Then, he can decide if he wants the same thing, and if he doesn't, then he can move on and find another person whose desires are more like his, while you do the same.

[Asker]

Great answer, thanks so much! I'm open to sex once I'm comfortable enough with the guy, but I'm not sure when that'll be.my friends in the same position were ready after about4-6 months but that's them not me. I would love to have a patient guy who will teach me how to do stuff right. What you said makes me feel better, we did spend a good amount of time together not cuddling. We were hanging out for about 5 hours yesterday and maybe 2 or 3 of those hours were the cuddling and playful tickling

[debsman]

He talks about sex be cause he likes it and would probably love to get in your pants. Since he knows you are a virgin he'd probably like that trophy too. Him being your first all the way around will really boost his ego. And having at least 3 girls doesn't make him an expert.

[Asker]

Well those were just the exes he mentioned, there may be more. I know it doesn't make him a man whore but still seems like a decent amount to me. Thanks for your answer!

[skb94]

i wouldn't say he JUST wants sex. if you're unsure take it slow

[Asker]

Yeah I plan to take it slow, I want a boyfriend not just sex. I'm kind of awkward about being intimate because I have no experience :( if a girl gave you her first kiss would you want to know that before or after you kiss? If it even matters

[skb94]

i would say after, just because it would take the pressure off

[Asker]

I was thinking after we kiss I would say something like "want to know a secret?" to get his interest then tell him. And good point about taking the pressure off :)

[toulouse]

the first time a guy kissed me & I wasn't expect ing it. I was so taken off guard I froze. so he kissed me without me responding at all. he thought it was that he was bad at it. so I just explained id never kissed anyone before. I prefer to have been properly warned & I couldve told him first. I would rather he knew so he'd be more careful. & then he wouldn't have felt rejected. but that's me. whether you want to worry about your pressure or his, is up to you-you know.

[skb94]

@QA sounds good to me :) sorry for the late reply bt w @toulouse I guess it depends on whether he's recklace or not

[Asker]

I'm thinking waiting until after would be best. I could have kissed him last night, we were pretty close. If I moved in a little closer then I'm sure he would have been up to it. I just get nervous because of my inexperience. I'm sure I'll be ready soon though, I'm really comfortable around him

[skb94]

take your time