Should my boyfriend and I have a threesome?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together 5 years and lost our respective virginity to one another. Neither of us have had oral sex with anyone else, either. We have a male roommate who we're both close to. He has never explicitly said he wanted to have a threesome with us, but he's had them before and has heavily implied he'd be willing to have one with us as well. My boyfriend and I were talking about it, and while we think it would be fun, it might also complicate things. Will we do it once and pretend it never happened or make it a continuing thing? Will it ruin our friendship and make it awkward to be around our friend? Would I be free to have sex with our friend just the two of us? We both agreed that if we ever had a threesome it would have to be with a friend we trusted, so these issues would probably arise no matter who it was. Your thoughts?

[Belgie]

It will almost certainly f*** things up. I happen to think 3somes work best with a couple and a stranger. Unless the three of you were used to having 3somes with other people, then you could probably avoid the weirdness that will inevitably ensue.

If you intend to do it anyway, then start off by saying it will be for just the once. (Though be open to doing it again if you all really do enjoy it and avoid the weirdness).

You would not be free to have sex with the friend, behind your boyfriends back.

But during the 3some, yeah it should be possible. These are the sorts of things you need to work out in advance with your boyfriend. For example, your boyfriend might want to be the only one who goes in your puss. He might be fine with you blowing the friend though. Similarly, the guys need to work out what they would do. Are they okay with physical contact, or will they stay at opposite ends and perform a wobbly H or a spit roast on you?

The simplest thing of course would be to say "It's a one-off, anything goes" and avoid long messy discussions, but simplest doesn't always mean the best in terms of avoiding weirdness afterward or making sure the friendship doesn't go sour.

[CuriousEddie]

It sounds like the situation is right, in that it is someone you are both close to... I think that there is no one but you and your boyfriend can decide, though, if it is worth the risk, as sex might damage the friendship between the three of you. Of course, it might also be an absolutely fun time that you choose to repeat quite often!

You might want to understand the 'ground rules', about what is allowed... everything from birth control to kissing to vaginal penetration to the guys touching each other. If there's something that's not allowed, it is best to talk about it. If everything is okay, as long as everyone is comfortable in the moment, that's fine, too.

[rachiee]

I think that this something you definitely have to think about and talk about together. You have to consider the possibility of someone gaining feelings for the wrong person or if it effects your friendship the other guy the wrong way. Personally I think if the three of you sat down and laid out the rules that everyone can agree on and feel comfortable with then go for it. There's nothing wrong with trying out new things in a relationship, especially in the bedroom.

[RyanRyanson]

thing is that rules are made and then feelings develop regardless.

[rachiee]

Of course but feelings don't always develop. Its just playing Russian roulette just like almost everything else in life.

[Asker]

I don't see feelings developing in my present situation, though it is something to think about. I doubt my boyfriend and guy friend would develop feelings for one another, and the guy friend and I have enough in common to be good friends but we don't have the right chemistry for a real relationship.

[kairon156]

I would say no. I personally wouldn't want to share a long time Girlfriend with anyone else.

If it was a new relationship say just a few months old and than the idea of a 3some was brought up than I might think about it because I wouldn't have years of emotion invested into the relationship

[shocker7689]

I would say no because that is way to many feelings being mixed into one. What if you think the other guy is better? What if your boyfriend thinks your enjoying him more then you? What if the other guy starts to have feelings for you? That is already to many negatives right there only naming a few, so that is my reason for no.

[RyanRyanson]

yay! two d***s at once! what else needs to be said?

[diegoD]

if you don't want o ruin your his feelings/ I mean you want another dude f***ing you. I'm sure there are plenty of volunteers here willing to do that 4 you

[Anonymous]

My ex and I had various threesomes with other women and she asked if I could return the favor, so I did. My college roommate was my best friend and I know he always thought my girlfriend was hot and I trusted him. As long as you establish boundaries and what are "do's and don'ts" there shouldn't be an issue. I never allowed her to sleep with him unless I was present because I feel that it kinda takes away what a relationship is. Would you be having an interactive threesome? As in your boyfriend and the guy do stuff too? Or is it all about you getting it

[Asker]

It would be interactive, I'm sure. If my boyfriend only wanted to watch I wouldn't make him join, but I'd prefer if he were part of the action.

[Opinion Owner]

I mean, would you want the guys to do stuff with each other?

[Asker]

Oh...well, they could do stuff together if they wanted. They both identify as straight, so I don't know if they would want to, but it wouldn't bother me if they did.

[Opinion Owner]

I am straight and so was my roommate and my ex wanted to see stuff, so it was fine.