Why do so many virgin girls seem to want an experienced guy?

[Anonymous]

you see a lot of it on this website for one. but I've even heard or seen girls that are supposedly virgins always going for guys that either are sexually open (and later will cheat on the girl) or something like that. why do virgin girls insist on having an experienced guy? I'm not sexually experienced, I'm a virgin as well, but hope to find an attractive virgin girl, I love the fact that we could be each others' firsts and completely belong to each other in that way. I always get a little turned off when I know or hear that a girl has slept with guys and everything. but why are girls so drawn to guys that are more likely to sleep around? idk it's just a little hypocritical to me that they want someone that is experienced yet they aren't. besides I don't even worry about my lack of sexual experiences, it's sex! how hard can it be? there isn't a whole lot too it. I'm a very affectionate and passionate person anyway. I'm not worried about not being able to please a woman. its almost like girls are just asking to get cheated on when they can't even accept a guy with the same values and instead, want someone that's been around.

[Anonymous]

why is that hypocritical? I don't want someone as clueless as I am in bed, its logical. I want someone who can more or less guide me at first or teach me things.

im not into the whole "lets be each others firsts" thing. its not that serious, I just haven't had sex yet.

youre very hung up on this, and id say you're a perfect example of why I'm not really into guys who are virgins. your entire attitude is a little annoying, to be honest.

no we definitely don't have the same values. you need to stop with your assumptions. just because we both like things with the color blue on them doesn't mean we like them for the same reasons. just because two people happen to virgins doesn't mean they have the same values at all, the same mindsets, or the same beliefs. I can assure you that you and I dont.

sex is an art, imo. anyone can have sex, but that won't make it good sex, let alone great sex. also, its better if its a guy who has been with virgins before. I have a friend and he's a really nice guy. he sleeps around a ton (60-70 girls) and we were talking about this and he was explaining to me what its like, how you have to be really sensitive to the girl, etc. He knows what he's talking about because he's been there. all virgins have are fantasies and p*rn.

just because someone doesn't want you doesn't mean they are asking to be cheated on or deserve to be cheated on. grow up.

[jacar288yahoocom]

I'm a virgin too what the problem? that why I lost respect for women who want experienced guy which pissed me off I hope you got std

[Asker]

lol right back at ya ;)

[Natasha882]

I really don't see the problem, I think she is 100% correct. I myself have not slept with anyone but why would you want someone just as clueless as you are in bed. Like she said I would have no idea what I was doing I would at least like someone who does. That would be like 2 people in a car and they both don't know how to drive, you wouldn't want someone who knows what they are doing.

[Asker]

well then I guess I'm inadequate :/ geez, we morally strong guys can never catch a break.

[Opinion Owner]

@jacar you hope people get stds? you're an example of the pathetic men I want to avoid. lol not to mention you're not a good person imo if you actually wish sh*t like that on people. disgusting. youre only morally strong in your own mind, maybe among religious people and conservatives. the way you view sex and virginity doesn't correspond to my morals at all, which was kind of my point.

[Opinion Owner]

and omg please stop whining like a little bitch! "i guess I'm inadequate." a couple girls here have already said they want guys who are virgins too. not everyone is going to want you, accept this like an adult and move on. there are some girls who want virgins on their first time. find them and get it on and leave the rest of us to live our lives as we please. its not that hard. also, are you waiting for marriage? then it shouldn't even be an issue.

[Asker]

i just find it hard to believe that there are many attractive girls left that would be waiting for marriage, or if they are, would be willing to date a virgin guy like me. like I said, a lot of them go for more experienced, sexual guys. I feel like a lot of girls don't even notice most virgins, that's all.

[Opinion Owner]

now you're being hypocritical. attractiveness is subjective. and so is sexual preference. if you're only focused on "attractive girls" who you believe are less likely to wait, then why isn't it okay for a virgin to focus on a type of guy that she finds most attractive, here being non-virgins? if you're not noticing unattractive girls, why should attractive virgin girls notice you? food for thought. I already don't like you and I don't know you. stop obsessing over this, damn. forget virginity, live.

[mimiperson]

Don't worry about them. Everyone has a right to thier own opinion. You can't really relate can you? I mean, you don't have to worry about it hurting the first time. Nothing against you. I really appreciated your comment about being each others' firsts and all. It's sweet and sounds very romantic. But remember, there are ignorant, bigotted, rude, people of all ages and virtues. You just happened to point out the faction of us virgins who want experienced men. There are also virgins who want other virgins, experienced people who want virgins, etc.

If you're just trying to piss off virgins who are afraid to get their lady parts ripped open than bravo. Now stop brooding over them and go find yourself someone to love that has similar ideals to yours. I don't mean to be rude. You sound very sweet. But I don't think you understand our situation and quite honestly why does it matter? You're not going to date those individuals so why are you condescending to them? I think they should just be left alone. And this is coming from a virgin who wouldn't mind in the least being with another virgin. I'm just being the devil's advocate (:

[peace-love-couture]

I don't care about sexual experience or lack of.

I am however very turned off by guys who place such heavy emphasis on virginity. I can't stand guys who hold their virginity over their heads and act condescending towards those who aren't virgins or those who are experienced.

I also would prefer to be with a realistic guy, not with someone who thinks virginity entails a fairy tale ending with flowers and butterflies and that sex happens like it does in the movies.

Most virgins aren't realistic and have a foot up their nalga.

And this is coming from a virgin herself.

[Anonymous]

Women have evolved to find men who are successful and can have sex desirable. This is reasonable since men who have a lot of sex might produce sons who have a lot of sex, thus spreading the mother's genes far and wide. That is compounded by the fact that an experienced man is likely to have more practice and have better ejaculatory control. I'd also note that while both are found, women are more likely to prefer a somewhat dominant man to a submissive one, so a man with experience might more naturally take control of the situation. Really, the only advantage for most women of a virgin would be if it matched the woman's morality.

Its actually somewhat more difficult to say what, exactly, it is that men find attractive about virgins. Obviously men say things like 'she's clean' or 'I want to be first' but what is the source of these feelings across so many cultures? I'd speculate that one factor is that men have been drawn to virgins because it was easier to verify paternity in the case children are born. Its also possible that men are drawn to virgins because they're not already pregnant, something that in the hunter-gatherer era, non virgins could often have been (or breastfeeding and not yet ovulating again).

FWIW, I wish I'd pushed harder to lose my virginity and become sexually active sooner.

[DeanWillis]

im a virgin, and I agree 110% with EVERY word you said.

[mimiperson]

I don't necessarily agree on the virgin women wanting experienced guys part, but the idea he has about being firsts and stuff is very romantic.

[DeanWillis]

what do you mean you don't agree with "virgin women wanting experienced guys " ?

[AustinMan]

They want to feel confident that their first will know what he's doing.

[Asker]

right, but like I said, sex is sex. its not hard.

[AustinMan]

O contraire! Doing it well is not easy. The trick is to focus on making absolutely sure she gets everything she needs and 90% of what she wants. Then she'll do anything for you. She should come first and multiple times, preferably without anything except your manhood involved.

[peace-love-couture]

I think your attitude isn't exactly one that a girl would prefer the guy to have. Usually that attitude is the attitude guys who don't give a damn have.

[Asker]

my attitude? I have this attitude because I am fully willing to cater to the woman's needs before my own, and have a bit of sexual knowledge not because I think I can just breeze my way through it with little effort.

[peace-love-couture]

"its not hard" Again, most girls prefer realistic guys. Guys who don't think that just because they've read articles about sex improvement they are automatically sex gods

[mimiperson]

Ignore her. She's just trolling. I like what you said and I thought it was sweet.

[genevieve]

I really did appriciate that my boyfriend wasn't a virigin when I still was. Mainly because I was so nervous that it was good to have someone who knew what to do.

I think that most girls are more afraid of that it might hurt and stuff, than guys. Also you probably have heard girls talking about how they find guys that appear strong attractive and not being that nervous and knowing what to do comes off as strong in that situation.

I wouldn't insist on that he's not a virgin but I think it really helped.

btw most of us don't prefer guys that slept with 30 girls by the time they turn 20, but those who have been in one or two long term relationships

[SuperWomanIsHere]

i want a guy who has waited like I have.

[Amelia17]

I agree with you,im a virgin waiting for marriage and I want to only have one partner as well, and be able to give myself completely to one speical guy!

[irykiryk]

A few years ago when I was still a virgin I wanted to have sex with an older more experienced woman. Many guys admire the guy that has sex with an older woman. The reasons they would say are 'Imagine the things she would do' or how experienced she must be. In fact, my first time was with an older more experienced woman.

So this behavior is definitely not a monopoly of any gender. It's simply peoples desire to have something really good.

[Senses]

Because he knows what he's doing and I would love someonw who takes control of the whole situation (and me).

But it wouldn't bother me at all if he was a virgin...

[Asker]

good to know. and any virgin guy can do that with a little bit of practice, or in the right relationship. we're perfectly capable lol and way less likely to cheat too, I would never cheat on a girl I was with!

[peace-love-couture]

Sorry to burst your bubble but your being a virgin doesn't make you any less likely to cheat. I know quite a few virgin guys who've cheated on their girlfriends

[Asker]

i only know myself, and speak for like-minded guys, I'm sure there are virgin guys out there that would cheat, but that's not how I am. there are all kinds of people out there.

[Anonymous]

Id prefer my 1st to be a virgin too but I heard it'd be awkward...usually experienced guys know how to go easy on a girl(or so I've heard so that could be why)...plus experienced guys tend to be more attractive looking

[Asker]

so what if it's awkward? I've heard it comes pretty naturally with the right person. sex is a pretty basic natural process.

[Opinion Owner]

Idk if id wait for marriage because what if he's not who I thought or if we can't have children?

[Asker]

that's why it's so important to actually go for the right guys, not the experienced ones. they've been around, what makes you think they'll stay around for you?

[Anonymous]

For 2 reasons. 1) The very thing you like about virgins is what we like about experienced guys. We like things that are difficult. You see a virgin as being a prize because it's more difficult for girls to be virgins and it caters to your insecurities. We see experienced guys as being a prize because its more difficult to get sex and they seem like a catch. There's nothing "amazing" about a guy being a virgin, it's actually pretty easy to stay one.

2) Experienced guys know what they're doing. Guys make girls staying a virgin such a big deal, that when we finally do decide to have sex, we want to make sure it was worth the wait. An experienced guy will know how to warm us up, how to make it feel the best, and he'll last more than two seconds. Coming from a girl who lost it to another virgin, when he busted in 5 seconds, I regretted losing it to him. I was thinking, "Wow, I saved it all these years for this? For nothing? Guys are going to see me as less valuable now for nothing!?"

[Asker]

interesting. love the double standards in this society :/ ...and that isn't targeting you, I entirely see your point, but it's just weird that that's how things are. also your story... why would the guy stop after finishing early? he can keep going. just because the guy gets off once, doesn't mean you have to stop or that it's over. he should have kept going, and if that ever happened to me, I know I would. but I don't think that would happen with me anyway.

[Opinion Owner]

He couldn't get it up again. I've since slept with another person more experienced, and once he came it took him a little while to get it back up again too. It's not easy to go again, once you're done you're done, especially if you have no experience. And yeah double standards suck, I don't like that virginity is such a big deal for females either. Hope it changes.

[Asker]

guys have the refractory period after orgasm. takes about 15-20 mins. then after that you're pretty much set to go again lol. as long as you have the time you could spend an entire afternoon for example, going back at it! that would be a lot of fun I think, I'd totally do it with my girl, when the time comes.

[kheserthorpe]

Believe it or not, not all girls consider a 20 minute pause during sex ideal.

[DeanWillis]

The virgin you lost it too is the stereotypical male virgin. Not all of us are inept virgins.

[Opinion Owner]

@kheserthorpe this is so true. After 15-20 minutes I've completely lost the desire @DeanWillis if you're a virgin you have no idea how you're going to be. My ex thought the exact same thing. He thought he'd watched enough p*rn, read enough articles, and practiced enough with masturbating that he'd be amazing. As soon as he got inside me it was all over. Sex is totally different than anything you've felt before and most guys are quick to finish their first time (or forever depending).

[DeanWillis]

i never said I was ready for sex. as a matter of fact, I don't want to have sex because I don't feel ready to have the emotional connection with another person. but I am totally capable of REAL RAW F*CKING without a care for the womans feelings =]

[mimiperson]

@ Answerer I think you might be projecting your bad first experience when you lost your virginity onto all virgins. I think you might regret losing it and are taking it out on others. @kheserthorpe just because you need 20 minutes for little jimmy to get back up doesn't mean you have to stop everything and wait. You can still make out and touch and stuff. @That was probably one of the funniest and endearing comments I have ever read. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who's waiting.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not at all, I just think this standard of having to be a virgin for women is incredibly unfair.

[Anonymous]

Man are some of the girls on this site always this stupid? YOUR GETTING A D*CK INSIDE YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME, OF COURSE ITS GOING TO HURT, WEATHER THE GUY IS EXPERIENCED OR NOT.

[Pixie-Flames]

It doesn't necessarily have to hurt,my first really wasn't bad at all

[Asker]

well it's important for the guy to get her in the mood first. you can't just stick it in a lot of the time, otherwise it is more likely that you'll hurt her. a lot of guys most likely just think with their other head lol and stick it in without realizing that or without much concern for the girl herself. some guys just might actually not know, nothing against her.

[AustinMan]

Maybe a lesson in courtesy and spelling might help. No reason to shout. We're listening. And it's whether, not weather.

[Opinion Owner]

Get off my d*ck dude.

[mimiperson]

@AustinMan, well said.

[Opinion Owner]

Good job reviving a 3month old thread dumb b*tch

[Anonymous]

Well for me it wasn't so much about his level of experience(he had been with a lot of girls before deciding he wanted to settle down).It was the fact that he made me feel safe,relaxed and comfortable around him because we were totally in love.I think the fact that he was experienced made my first time a lot less awkward and painful.I don't think sex between could ever be good or painless,at least I wouldn't imagine so

[Asker]

lol why would there be any reason to not feel safe or comfortable around another virgin?

[Opinion Owner]

I probably could,that was my point.It was about him and how he made me feel not the fact that he wasn't a virgin.I'm just saying I think it did help in terms of making it pain free and all that.

[Asker]

oh I see. but that's just a simple communication thing. but I mean of course most guys would be careful at first and would be receptive to your feedback and concerns, at least any man worth being with.

[Opinion Owner]

I've only been with one guy so obviously I can't make a comparison but my first time didn't hurt at all and actually felt pretty good.One of my best mates lost her virginity to another virgin and she said it was very awkward and hurt a lot,she think it was due to the fact that neither of them had a clue what they were doing

[Anonymous]

I think because an experienced guy knows what he's doing. It will probably feel better.