He puts things in my BUTT. Help!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Okay, so both of each other agreed in the beginning that we don't do anal. However, I bought a vibrator the other day and we were having sex in the shower and he put the vibrator up my ass. Now, I wasn't sure where the vibe was at first because I've never had anything up there, but I let it continue and asked him if that's where he put it later. Then, the next time he put it up my ass again. Then, when we didn't have the vibrator, he put his finger in my ass (this happened several times) is he doing it because he thinks I like it, or does he like doing this too and didn't want to admit it before? Is he trying to eventually stick his **** in me? What's going on?

[Anonymous]

Well first of did you like having his fingers/vibrator etc up there? I can't really tell from your responses. If you didn't then tell him to stop because you aren't interested and be very clear. but if you did like it then why stop him? It seems like you have some kind of mental block to anal, which is fine, but why put an end to something you actually might be enjoying?

the reason I say this is I always thought anal would be gross and painful and that I wasn't into it, but once when my boyfriend was fingering me he slipped a finger up my ass and I actually liked it. I still haven't had anal sex but I'm totally open to anal play now in a way I wasn't before. I'm not saying you should like it just because I did, just that its important to figure out what you want. If you say you don't want anal, then he disrespects your wishes by putting things in your ass anyway, there's a whole set of problems here. but you also are letting him! Stand up for yourself and your needs, you don't have to be the passive recipient in sexual encounters

[Asker]

Well.. It depends on what position I am in, sometimes it makes me feel like I'm sh*tting.

[Opinion Owner]

yea I know what you are talking about... its weird haha. maybe try to voice your opinion on what positions, or just flat out tell him before anything even starts that you don't enjoy that sensation and tell him durring if it starts happening. tell him you want reassurance that he will respect your wishes, if you're going to let this progress any farther you have to be able to trust that he will listen when you tell him to stop or slow down or not so hard etc.

[MarkMyWords]

When you feel that try not to clench off. You really don't have to go, it is just a false urge. When you clench, he pushes harder, so you clench more. Try to breathe, and let butt open when you feel it. Even push out just a bit as if you are sh itting. The ass sex will go MUCH smoother and the feeling will change and help you orgasm. Also, he can slowly pop the head head out to give that relief -- then pop back in -- all out to relieve you -- back in. After a few minutes of this WOW.

[Stacyzee]

He is doing it because you let him.If you let someone do those to you he's going to assume you like it because you haven't said otherwise. I find it hard to believe you couldn't tell the difference between something being in you vajayjay vs. your rectum.

[saphirasilverwings]

If you don't want him to do it, tell him clearly and stop him. Right now you are letting him do it, so decide whether you want to or not and then be firm with him. If you know you won't want to do anal, remind him of your original agreement.

[saphirasilverwings]

Anal sex doesn't ALWAYS hurt- but from my own experiences I know that sometimes, there's nothing you can do to make it bearable. There's no way to know without trying it, but I think if you're scared to do it on any level, it will probably be more likely to hurt. It's good that he can accept not doing anal if you aren't comfortable with it. But make sure he's equally respectful of your feelings when it comes to the vibrators, fingers, etc.

[Asker]

I only told him to stop one time, and he immediately pulled it out and dropped it, like a surrender thing. He is respectful.

[saphirasilverwings]

Good!

[MarkMyWords]

I wish girls would just relax about anal. Look, your asses and ass h*oles are beautiful. Guys are going to desire them. If you do a little research, it never has to hurt. Check out puckerup.com, and advisor. A woman advising females on anal. GUYS: STOP with the sudden moves and the no lube. If you want it, learn to make her come from it. She will start to ask for it.

[Asker]

We used a LOT of lube when we finally tried anal. (Yea, I let him try) He did it slowly, and as soon as it was in he asked if I wanted it out. It hurt SO badly I could not speak. I just nodded. It was honestly the worst physical pain I have ever felt in my life. So don't gimme this sh*t on it not hurting. Ha

[MarkMyWords]

Well, you don't have to learn it all all at once. Start with some thing smaller, like a small toy. PLUS -- you need to push out as he pushes IN. This shape to your butt hole O instead of this *. You can even practice in the mirror. The bottom line is (pun intended) -- if you really don't want it to go in your ass, it never will. If you really want it to happen, you can do some research like puckerup.com, anal advisor, and learn a few tricks. It's up to you and him to learn!

[Asker]

I want to try for him, that's honestly the only motivator. Ha. And I love your pun intended thing. Hilarious.

[MarkMyWords]

Understood. BUTT if you get it right, that motivation may change. Have pun!

[hunterfan]

Sit him down and say you do not want to have anal sex, tell him that's why you talked to him about it at the start you do not like it. He is most likely trying to get you ready to have anal sex completely. If he has never done it before he probably wants to experiment with it, and if he has done it before he might miss doing it.

[ncsquirll99]

put the dildo up his ass and then see if he does it again.

[Nutshell]

I <3 this answer.

[FenFrann]

pretty clear he wants anal

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

its clear he wants anal so tell him you don't like it

[Chrissy1986]

its his way of warming you up to the idea of anal

[Asker]

God no.

[Chrissy1986]

yes and if you let go af any fear you harbour of anal you might find it quite pleasurable if not tell him to keep all things way from that area

[taster]

If you don't like it...stop him NOW

[Jay_So_Lovely]

lmao..this is funny

[Asker]

;c Shut up.

[justin66]

he trying to tell you that he wants anal sex with you

[kity1983]

yep he is slowly getting you use to it then it will be his member,

[Asker]

Good lord.

[justin66]

i think he likes it tight ,thats why he's pushing for it :)

[Asker]

My p**** is super tight already, we have to use lube to get it in there, and it always hurts

[CupCakeBlonde]

butt play 1st step in wanting anal

[Asker]

:c

[MarkMyWords]

great point. very true.

[Anonymous]

he wants to ass f*** you

[Asker]

Bahahah

[Anonymous]

Do you not enjoy it at all? Try dildo (or him) up your butt and vibe on clit, you'll enjoy quick orgasm

[Opinion Owner]

Or does he know you don't like it? If not youve got to tell him otherwise he'll think you like it and keep doing it

[Asker]

I can't decide if I like it. Sometimes it feels good, sometimes it feels like I have to sh*t. And I have never had an orgasm, doubt that would work

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah it does feel like that sometimes. Best thing is to discuss it with him. Re orgasm, I find it hard to orgasm and can only do it once with my guy if vibe is used... When done with butt play I orgasmed 3 times! Give it a go if you decide you want to experiment more.