Why does my husband enjoy his panty/pantyhose fetish more online and in videos rather than real time?

Question

He LOVES pantyhose, panties and upskirt/candid pics and videos. We share our fantasies, watch porn together and have a great relationship. But I've always wondered why though he loves looking at these types of pics/vids, he isn't that into ME wearing them. I'm a nurse that wears scrubs, and dress casually except on rare occasions. So I try to wear the things he enjoys on his days off for his enjoyment. But when I do, I end up thinking  I might as well have worn my regular clothes because he doesn't get as excited by these things in realtime as he does just looking at pics of them. I"m not jealous but would really like to know why is it better in his head than in real life? Please, serious answers only please.

SomeGuy37 · Accepted Answer

This is one of the things that women just don't understand about guys, even when we try to explain it. You said that you wear 'scrubs' being a nurse. I LOVE those, especially when your panties show through! You are married, and therefore 'OFF LIMITS' but it is still a 'turn on' seeing that a woman, especially an attractive one, is wearing sensible panties that show through her clothing! It may not make sense, but it's nice, even if you don't know that you are showing! Not bad, not trashy, not 'perverted' or anything like that, and nothing wrong with it, but just something that makes us smile, whether you know it, or not!
Pantyhose, upskirts, and panty shots, especially accidental, unexpected ones excite us!! He doesn't think anything less of you, or love you any less, but the panty/upskirt and exposure in public are things that we like, but would NEVER WANT OUR GF or WIFE to do!!!
Guys separate the lover from the harlot of the fantasy!! WE ADORE YOU, and love you as the 'good girl', but we like the idea of the 'harlot', doing things we would never want you to do, just in fantasy!
He DOESN'T want those other girls, but they are exciting, and enticing, because they are 'fantasy' wearing arousing clothes, for fantasy, but not for a companion.
Guys separate sex from love, and women seem to combine them. We can lust after a Victoria's Secret model in her panties, but LOVE you! It's separate, and different, to us!
If I can offer any advice, it would be to BE YOURSELF, and don't try to be what he lusts for. Understand that he likes some images, some things, but they aren't you, they are 'fantasy', but don't think that they are replacing you, or he wants them, more than you! If you are comfortable enough, look at what he likes, that you might hate, and try to understand that he likes that, and maybe, slowly, show him some things like those images, just casually, but remember that he might never want to see you, like those, being someone special.

Mahalko · Accepted Answer

I'm not sure it's better in his head than in real life - I rather believe in some way that these are two different things in his head: the anonimosity of the net allows him to watch while being unnoticed. Upskirt is typically such a kind of voyeurism. So if he knows you know he's watching, it doesn't work for him that well. I guess he would get excited when you wear it while you're sleeping let's say..or on a picture? I wouldn't feel bad though if you can't get him excited this way, it could very will be just the nature of the fetish not to be able to manipulate it..

claydough18 · Accepted Answer

i think guys get turned on by things they can't have...and when you do it its just not as fun or "mysterious" as to what's underneath so maybe since he can't have the girls on the video's it just gets him all riled up and when you do it its just gonna be something that he sees all the time...i hope this helped

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

scrubs are awesome they look so comfortable :)

maybe because he can imagine things about the women online and he just respects you and loves you too much and he can't do those things with you really

he just wants fantasies

don't take it personally or anything x

pwl0lwp · Answer

i've often found it's the idea of something that's more arousing than the reality, especially when it's something a bit out of the ordinary; I think the brain makes lots of unnoticed assumptions for the fantasy that can't be made for the real thing because the details are all there.

there's also possibly the 1st/2nd person factor: maybe his (subconscious) fantasy is the situation of the girls wearing the stockings/panties rather than doing the watching - has you tried with *him* in the pantyhose?

CuriousEd · Answer

Are you sure it isn't that he isn't thinking about him wearing them?  Or perhaps if you "forced" him to wear them?

mav0502 · Answer

men get excited about things we cannot have, which can be these things on the internet...and with that the idea of it being wrong or naughty adds to the excitment...so that could be it...maybe go without wearing any for a few days...and while ur in work, txt him about it and see his response...or go out and buy a new pair, crotchless or a g-string, something he has not seen you in before and see if it gets a better reaction...it could be the idea of something new to him turns him on...

Beantown1992 · Answer

Your husband is insane! I would be SO grateful if my s/o wore those things! I love the feel of them which is something you can's get from a photo.

Lenell · Answer

Probably repetition. I think seeing you everyday in scrubs and the majority ofnthe time may have associated you with casual and scrubs. He never sees the models not wearing pantyhose. He associates you with scrubs. when you're first dating you only see eachother at your best. When you put pantyhose on its not long enough for a new association. Also just having them on isn't always enough often its the presentaion of you on them. I love pantyhose buts very sexual in nature as we know so when you wear them how are you presented? Are you just casually walking around and lounging? Maybe try a more sexual presentation dont just walk in the room on pantyhose but sort of perform. Walk on feeling sexy. Walk sexy. Dont wear them unless you're being sexual and he will associate you wearing them with its time for orgasms. Dont wear them too routinely. So on your days off he shouldn't be like ok pantyhose day nothing unusual. And try this, try turning him on first and then putting them on so his body reacts on its on when you're wearing them. Get him used to being hard when you're wearing them. Have a little nock date at home where you two have a drink sit and talk like when uou meet at a bar and tease him with those pantyhose legs and feet if he likes that too let him sit and get hard while you sit and oretend you dont know. See when he watches porn he's already horny so his dick sense porn and goes "its time for orgasms." Whens done he turns it off. Repeatitive association. A little acting goes a long way. Now if he had porn playing all day everyday while he did other things eventually he would not be turned on by it he would associate ot with casual his dick goes "oh we havnt been doing anything sexual with porn on so he must want me to shut down while this is on since he's usally doing other things while this is on. So dont let that happen to you. Dont let him associate you with non sexual things when you're wearing pantyhose. The setting shouldn't be too routine either. Change something. Anything just break the routine of a casual setting. If the game is on or the news or certain smells breakfast of whatever change it somehow even if the lighting can be changed change itm routine kills passion and romance. So do sweat pants and boring underwear. I make my so put them on and put on a display for me while i masturbate. But not wear them too much so my dick gets used to getting hard when she does. But get him horny first then put them on. Use them responsibly they have power. Not kidding. Over guys like us its like magic. You have to learn how to use them. Once you do you will realize why pantyhose women are queens.

Loobiedoobie · Answer

That's really odd if you ask me. Don't we look at stuff because we want to actually experience it? My wife wears pantyhose for me all the time, including under her scrubs for the support, and we love it. If I'm getting fired up online looking at women in pantyhose, I want her to be in them, simple as that; he needs to level with you about it.

tubaman01 · Answer

Have you tried giving him beaver shots or your panties as you sit across from him and spread your legs slightly just enough to let him see your panties, but pretend that you don`t realize what you`re doing?