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Why does my husband enjoy his panty/pantyhose fetish more online and in videos rather than real time?

He LOVES pantyhose, panties and upskirt/candid pics and videos. We share our fantasies, watch porn together and have a great relationship. But I've always wondered why though he loves looking at these types of pics/vids, he isn't that into ME wearing them. I'm a nurse that wears scrubs, and dress casually except on rare occasions. So I try to wear the things he enjoys on his days off for his enjoyment. But when I do, I end up thinking I might as well have worn my regular clothes because he doesn't get as excited by these things in realtime as he does just looking at pics of them. I"m not jealous but would really like to know why is it better in his head than in real life? Please, serious answers only please.

Updates:
And yes I've asked him, but he said he doesn't know either! LOL

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • I'm not sure it's better in his head than in real life - I rather believe in some way that these are two different things in his head: the anonimosity of the net allows him to watch while being unnoticed. Upskirt is typically such a kind of voyeurism. So if he knows you know he's watching, it doesn't work for him that well. I guess he would get excited when you wear it while you're sleeping let's say..or on a picture? I wouldn't feel bad though if you can't get him excited this way, it could very will be just the nature of the fetish not to be able to manipulate it..

    • You make some very good points! In fact, he HAS gotten off when I was sleeping and didn't know he was looking/peeking at me. He told me later how hot that was and I thought it was great that he even enjoys me when I'm not aware of it *S* Maybe I shouldn't try to manipulate it, as you put it. I find that when I do, it seems to make me wish I hadn't bothered and feel a little put out. Thanks for your input!

    • Hey very welcome - I'm sure your husband does notice and appreciate you're doing all this for him and he may even feel bad by the 'limited' result from his side himself - I mean don't feel to put out from the situation (although I follow you ) :) ;but in this case, it seems like the less you do, the more you do. Of course, the opposite of the 'logic of the child' would be you'd wear skirts *all* the time - so that the thought of 'manipulation of the child' isn't there anymore - but that sth else

    • Excellent point. You are correct in the statement that the less I do, the more I do. It seems that what gets him going the quickest are the things that used to mortify me.. like running around in a frumpy old nightgown or t shirt and the next things I know, he has me on the floor *LOL* I appreciate the frankness and honesty that all of you have used in answering.

What Guys Said 4

  • men get excited about things we cannot have, which can be these things on the internet...and with that the idea of it being wrong or naughty adds to the excitment...so that could be it...maybe go without wearing any for a few days...and while ur in work, txt him about it and see his response...or go out and buy a new pair, crotchless or a g-string, something he has not seen you in before and see if it gets a better reaction...it could be the idea of something new to him turns him on...

  • i've often found it's the idea of something that's more arousing than the reality, especially when it's something a bit out of the ordinary; I think the brain makes lots of unnoticed assumptions for the fantasy that can't be made for the real thing because the details are all there.there's also possibly the 1st/2nd person factor: maybe his (subconscious) fantasy is the situation of the girls wearing the stockings/panties rather than doing the watching - has you tried with *him* in the pantyhose?

    • As a matter of fact, yes, he HAS been in the pantyhose a few times, and sometimes even the panties. It's something that he doesn't do often but certainly enjoys when he does it, as do I. You make a good point also about the situation aspect. Thanks for your comment *S*

  • Are you sure it isn't that he isn't thinking about him wearing them? Or perhaps if you "forced" him to wear them?

  • Have you tried giving him beaver shots or your panties as you sit across from him and spread your legs slightly just enough to let him see your panties, but pretend that you don`t realize what you`re doing?

    • Yes, I have. Maybe it's possible that he IS noticing but is not letting ME know he is. I guess it just seems odd to me that when he has the opportunity to pounce on what he enjoys, it's as if he's oblivious to it. But maybe that is the draw for him... the not letting me know. Do you think that could be it, the voyeristic aspect?

What Girls Said 2

  • i think guys get turned on by things they can't have...and when you do it its just not as fun or "mysterious" as to what's underneath so maybe since he can't have the girls on the video's it just gets him all riled up and when you do it its just gonna be something that he sees all the time...i hope this helped

    • I agree about what turns men on. And you make a good point about what they see frequently loses it's appeal. Boredom is a terrible thing and we don't want that, do we? *S* Thanks for your comments.

  • scrubs are awesome they look so comfortable :) maybe because he can imagine things about the women online and he just respects you and loves you too much and he can't do those things with you really he just wants fantasies don't take it personally or anything x

    • I guess I'm lucky in that I DON" take it personally. It's just something that I wonder about. Men's sexuality and responses to different stimuli has always intrigued me. I am quite sure he loves and respects me. But honestly, that has never stopped him from doing anything that was on his, as far as I know *EG* Fantasies are an important part of life, sexually and otherwise and I would not want to take that away from him. I appreciate your commenting on my question.

    • Yeah I wonder about the same things =]. And you're welcome ^__^.

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