My boyfriends birthday stripper?

So, for my boyfriends birthday, one of his friends is planning on having a stripper come dance on him, etc. I don't feel comfortable with it at all. It makes me feel sick thinking about it. Am I just being silly and overreacting or should I really be concerned and tell him no?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • There's nothing wrong with feeling insecure about it.

    And I get that it's not she's going to steal him away or something along those lines. Just having another girl dancing like that with him, half naked or whatever is just upsetting sometimes. I understand. I feel the same way, I don't know why but it's just upsetting.

    If I were you just talk to him about it. Just say that you don't feel comfortable with it. Don't accuse him of anything, don't point fingers, don't get angry. Don't do anything to put him on the defensive. Don't make it about him. This is about you. So say that you don't feel comfortable with it, not his friends are making you uncomfortable, or how he is. Keep it about you because it's you with the problem.

    If he doesn't understand and refuses to listen to you then he seems like a d***. It doesn't matter if it's a reasonable request or not the fact that he refuses to listen just shows how "mature" he really is. You're not trying to control him and if he asked you not to have a male stripper at your birthday I'm sure you would willingly talk about it, if not oblige.

    Bottom rule- don't expect anything of him you wouldn't give yourself. That's what's fair.

  • If you feel uncomfortable with the idea of a naked woman shoving herself in your boyfriends face, you have every right to express that. Personally I think it was somewhat disrespectful of the friend to plan that without so much as asking how you felt about it. If my boyfriend was considering hiring a stripper and I didn't want him to, I would expect him to honor that. If he absolutely must see other girls naked, he can watch p*rn- or find himself a girlfriend who's okay with strippers.

    • It doesn't make sense to me that a friend would plan that for a guy who wasn't single. Lots of girls wouldn be okay with it.

    • His friend simply doesn't care. He is disrespectful and doesn't even consider my feelings on it.

    • Talk to your boyfriend about it. You have every right to care about this and you deserve for him to at least hear you out.

  • I would be really pissed If I were in your shoes...

    His friend shouldn't organize such a thing he has a girlfriend period...

    Say to him you will hire a male striper to yourself...

    I just think its disrespectful to you...

    I wouldn't agree to that I would be really mad actually

    I know I will get tons of down votes lol

Most Helpful Guys

  • Sure sure, most are going to say how disrespectful it is and blah blah blah.

    Truth is, whether it bothers you or not, do you really want to be that girl who ruined the party?

    Do you not want to see your boyfriend's reaction to this? Or do you want him to tell you "it's okay Baby" and sweep his hormones under the rug because you couldn't handle/trust the guys for one night.

    I personally don't like the idea of my girlfriend having male strippers at her b-day party, but I'd rather have the long term results of her not having a prude of a jealous boyfriend.

    Don't mind me though, this could be just the minority of the advice... or it could just be the male honesty you were looking for.

  • Just ask him how he would feel if some male stripper came over and danced on you... Then you should have your answer.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 7
  • It's okay to tell your man how you feel, but perhaps less okay to tell him what to do. Nobody wants to be ordered around by their partner.

  • Yes. Stand up for yourself.

  • Tell him, if he is a good boyfriend he will understand. But if he really wants one, you should let him or come to a compromise.

    • Compromises are always good.

  • It's for his guests as well as him and I doubt the stripper is planning to steal him from you, 'tis birthday fun, chill

  • I think it depends on the overall atmosphere of the party. For instance I've had nights where I've gone out with friends for someones birthday and visited a strip club. However, in those instances the strippers were not the focus of the night by any stretch of the imagination more of a quick stop between the various pubs/clubs in the area. I think under those sort of circumstances its all pretty harmless. However, I think that if the stripper/strippers had been the sole focus for the entire night then it would have been a bit of a problem. I have spoken to a couple of friends girlfriends about it before and they say that for one off occasions they are able to turn a blind eye because they feel as though they are in secure long term relationships.

    • Going to a club where a stripper is on stage is one thing. Having one in your home is another.

    • thats tru and sort of the point I was trying to make. If his friend just wanted to organise a fun night out which maybe included some strippers on stage that might be better than having one as a centerpiece in the house during the party

  • You are completely entitled to not feeling comfortable with his having a stripper come to his party, and I don't think you're overreacting. This is clearly distressing to you, and you need to tell him soon. He should be understanding about it.

  • On one hand I don't see this as a real big deal, but if it bothers you that much you should talk to him and lay out your position...I guess I don't feel that he should go through with it if it's gonna ruin your day...

  • i don't think he would appreciate a stripper dancing on your for your birthday...

  • don't take this the wrong way, or think I'm being rude; but would you like your boyfriend telling you want to do or not do? there's gotta be some mutual respect somewhere.

    • There's also gotta be some limits somewhere. Would you let your girlfriend do whatever she wanted, without a care for your feelings? There's no reason why she shouldn't at least tell him she feels uncomfortable with it.

    • I understand what you're saying. but do you let your boyfriend dictate your every move? if she is not happy with the idea they should definitely talk about it but all I'm saying is put yourself in his shoes. no need to get upset

    • Of course she doesn't have any right to CONTROL him. But when you're in a committed relationship, what you do affects your partner. There are times when you have to take their feelings into account. If my boyfriend didn't want me seeing male strippers, I would have no problem honoring that.