Is being a 20 year old virgin a turn off?

i've never been in a serious relationship and I have never had sex (I don't want to lose it to someone I don't really care about)

a lot of times if I'm hooking up with a guy, I feel like I should tell them I'm a virgin...its just kinda awkward. I just don't want them to think its heading for sex when its not.

i also feel like the only normal virgin in my age group...and I don't think any of my friends are.

its kinda intimidating at this point, because all of the guys I am involved with are in their 20's with a lot more sexual experience than I have.

i know the right guy will not care about that, but as a would you feel about hooking up with a virgin? (knowing it won't lead to sex unless it turned into a serious relationship)

also how should I go about telling someone? if I'm hooking up with someone and I can tell they want to take it farther and I say no...should I be like, "no...and uh I'm a virgin" or should I just say no and not explain that I'm a virgin.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's a turnoff to guys who are just looking for sex. But if it's a good guy who cares about you, then no it's not a turnoff.

    But if you're starting to date a guy, just have fun and get to know the guy. If he tries to push things into the sexual realm, just tell him that you're not looking for that, that you're waiting. If he is ok with it and stays with you then great, if not, then he's just looking for sex, and you don't need him anyway.


What Guys Said 7

  • First off, NEVER be ashamed that you're a virgin, NEVER! Be proud of it! You have something your friends don't. If anyone should be ashamed or embarrassed it's many of those friends of yours that have had sex carelessly, and by that I mean they've been involved in hook ups, just for fun sex because they can't wait to lose their virginity's, because some guys have intimidated them, have had sex with guys like you said that they don't really care about, a new relationship where they barely liked each other and broke up less than 3 months later, and so on. Just don't feel awkward because you don't owe ANYONE any excuses or explanations. You let your friends live their lives like they've wanted, now you get a chance to live yours like you want. First of all if you can, try not to hook up with any guys you think will want to have sex with you. If they ask or insinuate they want to go farther, just simply say something like this: "I have the feeling you've had sex before and that's what you're expecting again, but I haven't! I'm just not ready yet, is that Okay?" If he doesn't like just back off nicely, you can ask him one more question like: "When you get married (or with your next girlfriend), would you rather she be a virgin or would you rather she be a girl that's slept around with several or more guys?" By asking a question, you put him on the defensive rather than you. Good luck and don't be hesitant to hold your ground.

  • That is what I would want in a girl personally. I do not want a girl that has been with a lot of guys I want a girl who is waiting for the right guy. I am a virgin because I am waiting for the right girl and I want my first time to be with someone who is special to me.

  • Absolutely not, many men would like a young virgin like yourself (20 is young, even if you feel ancient) but they feel that it is simply unrealistic since most girls sell it away as soon as they can.

    Some advice: if you sell out your body easy, you won't find a man that respects you. You might think I'm full of shit but I know how guys work, they'll fuck you then dump you in a couple weeks and never call you back. Seen it happen to my friends already and I'm younger than you are.

  • I won't care about and I like you wouldn't waste it to somebody who is just interested in having sex with you. It's really not turning me off at all but you should be careful to say that. Somebody just looking for sex would be turned off by this but if he really loves you, he wouldn't care at all. Maybe he's a virgin too?

  • I think it's the opposite, for most it's a turn on. Guys don't wanna be with girls who have slept around with everyone. Also I don't think you have to tell him, if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Tell him after if you want, as long as your with the right person I don't think they would care, and would rather you be a virgin than not!

  • I'm in the same situation you are, except I'm a straight guy. Just talk to him. If he doesn't like what you say then he's just an asshole.

    Don't rush shit if your not ready. for example...some skank was hittin on me today, yeah I like the attention but there's no way in hell I'm losing it to a complete whore that I don't care about.

    Just talk before hand, cause one thing will lead to another.


What Girls Said 2

  • I'm 19,i'll ve 20 in 5 months.And I'm a virjin.i don't even think serious about losing it to a person I like just a bit.It must be some one speciall.I don't care what people say.And it's not a turn off,y would it be?U are a young grat woman who respect er body(i'm not telling that girls who had sex not!XD),and you are a girl with morals. ;) Be proud girl,and don't tell it to every guy who like u,it's ur personal thing,just tel to a person you think you can trust to talk about sex.

  • oh my god, I know EXACTLYYY how you feel, I just turned 21 in december and I lost my virginity in march, I literally felt like you are now, the only girl in the group of friends whos a virgin!, and as your hooking up with any guy in the bak of your mind your thinking "shit I'm a virgin, what if he tries to push further, do I tell him, or am I guna turn him off if I do" I know that in the times that I've hooked up with the guys I was thinking that 24/7...ive actaully spoken to some of the guys that I've hooked up with since I've lost my virginity, and I told them oh yeah btw all those times we hooked up yeaa I was a virgin so that's why I was a little shy lol, and EVERY SINGLE one of them almost gets insulted that I didn't tell them ! its kinda funny, there like "what!, you shoulda told me you were, and if you said you wanted to wait for the right guy I would have proved to you I was, there nothing hotter then knowing your a girls first" (yeah exact line haha) here's the thing I know what you mean about saying "uh I'm a virgin" because in your head its either 1.) he's guna get turned off because I'm inexperienced or 2.)he just wants to "pop my cherry"(hate that expression) so personally, if your hooking up with someone and you don't see it ever becoming seirous, then screw it don't tell them, because then their jus guna act like wild dogs knowing your untouched meat in a sense lol...only tell the guy you are actaully guna possibly be serious with, trust meee I rem I did tell a few I was a virgin and once you do THEY DONT GO AWAY! lol

    so in a nut shell: guys think its hot to be a girls first because it makes them feel SPECIAL and teaching someone whos innocent is def a turn on to them, don't tell guys you don't think ul ever be serious with because if ya do they don't go away because then they want you more, good luck girl! =)