Psychological and physical effects of the absence of a sex life?

[wishyouwerehere]

It has been proven that there are many benefits of having sex, physically and emotionally. While abstinence avoids accidental pregnancy and the contraction of sexually transmitted diseases, it must have consequences as well. Involuntary celibacy (when one desires to have sexual intimacy but can't due to circumstances that prevent them from attaining that) seems to lead to feelings of inadequacy, lower self-esteem, hopelessness, and depression. Can being in this situation for a prolonged period of time lead to psychological disorders and have a negative impact on one's health?

[archer86]

I cannot and will not speak for women. But for men who haven't had sex, the potential dangers are not to be underestimated. A sexless man can and will get quite violent if not murderous, all it takes is a spark to set him off. A sexless man will start looking at underaged girls because they are normally too stupid to say no when it appears nobody else will have him, not even the trashy ghetto chicks and the trailer park trash girls. A sexless man is far more opt to commit suicide because he sees everyone else have chicks except himself and masturbation is no fun at all. If it wasn't for prostitution, I think far more people would get killed because of sexual rage, not frustration. It is easy to judge when you have what you want, nobody looks at those who don't have it and don't try to understand their plight.

For most men in this situation, they are not bad men. They only want what everyone else already has. It's no different in comparison to food, shelter, respect and so on.

[greenie]

There's good and there's bad. The good is that you'll feel low and develop poor self esteem. Everybody that made something of themselves felt like that at some time or other. So it drives you to improve yourself or die.

The bad side- there's a rise in suicide rates in young males and I bet this is part of the reason.

Of course a lot of guys never have to try very hard with women for it to work.

The irony is most guys also go for girls that never have to try very hard with guys. So these Guys that get their sh*t together end up with girls that don't recognise or even care about that stuff.

[wishyouwerehere]

You make really interesting points. What about girls that DO have to try very hard with guys and still get nowhere?

[wishyouwerehere]

Most people assume that as a female, one does not have to put much effort into finding a partner. This is somewhat true in a sense, if she puts herself out there she won't have difficulty attaining satisfaction. But for the girls who desire a strong relationship first, it isn't as simple as this.

[greenie]

In my experience, girls that do try very hard over a guy choose guys that don't have to try very hard for their attention. Similarly, these guys do not value the qualities these girls have. They say love is blind, but it's not people that are blind, it's love itself.

[dnately]

There are many people in the world who choose to be abstinent, even for their entire lives (for example, Catholic priests) and I don't know of any evidence that this in of itself has negative impacts on mental health.

What I do know is that most people will not be successful in remaining abstinent, so it is important to know about other forms of protection just in case...

[Brando]

I'd say so, yes. I mean we can see it happen here on GAG. It causes self-esteem issues, social issues, and other issues involved with mentality. It also indirectly affects other aspects of people's lives which in turn come back to hit the person for round 2. I think that there are those who can control their urges and fill their time with other things, and genuinely be healthy and feel good. But there are others, myself at times included, that get those urges to want to have sex but have to suppress it. And that can't be good for your mentality.

[smbcomix]

Ah... wishyouwerehere, I think your question just resolved a problem that's been going through my mind since I was in high school...

I'm a virgin of 21 years, and a victim of involuntary celibacy. The problem that prevents me from having sexual intimacy is the paralyzing, crippling fear I experience around girls I'm attracted to. This prevents me from starting a relationship, thus preventing me from getting to any stage where either of us would be ready to have sex.

I do feel inadequate, I do have low self-esteem, I do feel hopeless, and all this depresses me. It's also a great source of frustration to my friends (majority of whom are, paradoxically, female). However, I wouldn't call them a result of my involuntary celibacy so much as a cause AND a result. I've been in this situation for years... and yes, considering things as they are now, I believe my health may indeed be at risk.

[sirrobbins]

I would say absolutely yes. My situation may be different because sex is no longer even something I can do. Well, I can with like 30 minutes of preparation. I have been involuntarily celibate my whole life and medical issues made it much worse. Depression followed as did feelings of worthlessness. I was deemed "unable to have kids, and erections would be very difficult and even then cannot keep it up long). You have to wonder what worth you have when you cannot do such basic things everyone else does and I am simply a burden to everyone I know. It's beyond frustrating.