Is it weird to want to be tied down?

I've always had this fantasy about wanting to be tied down during sex. Guys would you be weirded out if a girl asked you to do this?

Have any of you done it?

The only person that I have slept with wasn't very open sexually. He wouldn't experiment at should a girl go about asking to be tied down?


Most Helpful Guy

  • There's nothing wrong with experimenting, but you need to realize that not every guy is going to be prepared to handle this kind of request.

    In order for you to get the experience that you want, you need two things in a guy:

    - open-minded sexually, and

    - a naturally dominant personality.

    Many guys simply don't have the dominant personality in them, and most of the time, that isn't something that can really be taught. And if he isn't open-minded, he might freak out by such a request, even if he is naturally dominant.

    Believe it or not, this is a fairly common request - many girls want to experiment with this, and having trouble finding a guy to do it with is a common problem. Bondage requires a lot of trust, even more than what you need to have sex. You've got to find a guy who you can build that trust with.

    Finally, you've got to prepare for this. You don't want to just grab anything to be tied up with - you could end up hurt or worse. I recommend starting by buying a set of wrist and ankle cuffs, which are wider and softer and will prevent injury, and are quicker to get out of if you decide you want things to stop. And if you use rope, use thick, smooth rope, again, less likely to cause injury. Thinner rope and rougher rope is for "advanced users" who desire such.

    Good luck!


What Guys Said 32

  • I'd think I'd died and gone to heaven if my partner asked me.

  • It all depends on the partner you are with. My ex liked to be handcuffed and tied down from time to time. It all depends if both partners are willing to experiment. and There has to be some compromise. I'm pretty sure that you do things he likes. He should do things you like as well. Even if the guy doesn't want to experiment you can always bring out the handcuffs and handcuff one to yourself and see what happens.

  • You can always put hints like bookmarks on his Internet browser from sites linked with BDSM or links to video where the girl is hog tied. May be even email him links and then catch him looking at it and pretend catching him doing something wrong, so now you get to question, and quiz him if he is into it or if he got hard or turned on looking at it and then because you are such a wonderful girlfriend you would be willing to try it for him.

    So now you are not only getting your wish but as an obligation making him think you are doing it all for him only.

  • Well, he probably doesn't know how to tie you up. You don't want to be tied with square knots. Get him a book. link That should tell him everything. Just walk right up to him and say, "I bought you something," and give it to him. If you like spankings you might want to do that first. I think spankings are more vanilla than rope bondage. Tell him that you're bad and you need a spanking. If he responds enthusiastically, give him the book.

  • It's definitely not weird. In fact, I think it is a common fantasy.

    Anyway, I would suggest that you take this slowly, since I am not sure how open-minded your current partner is.

    May be you can ask him to hold your wrists down next time? Afterwards, tell him that you would enjoyed being held down.

    May be introduce handcuffs, or blindfolds the next time?

    Actual ropes should be a little below the list, since you want to slowly get there.

    Also, you want to make sure that he understands you enjoy it, every step of the way.

    Finally, if you guys start getting very rough, you might want to assign a safeword that, as soon as its said, would terminate the entire thing. Can be useful, and can help you feel a little more secure when you are tied up.

  • Done more than tied her down... A LOT more...

    You're into BDSM, perfectly normal and tons of fun, though be warned there are fewer guys into it than girls.

    • Really, I didn't know that. That's awesome. Are you sure? I figured the scene would be dominated by guys looking for someone to spank.

    • Show All
    • Such a shame there aren't enough male Doms out there.

    • Well I'm right here... All the submissive females are rather illusive...

  • Yes, I have received and provide light bodage. It is much more common than you think Properly done it can signifantly intensify the sexual pleasure. Here is some advice from experience..Make certain you can trust the other person. Before you do anything come up with a safe word totally unrelated which tells your partner to stop ie my safe word was jet ski.

    Don't adlib or instruct duuring the experience. Doing so will break the mood quickly. Rough up a general senario of your fantasy and give it to your partner {s} in writing. Again talking about it dampens the experience. Include a list of don'ts at the bottom of the senario.

    A strong warning. There exist a real lifestyle of BDSM and they take it very seriously. To them this is not a game but a daily life. Don't venture into it without doing a lot of research. Have fun!

  • Not at all uncommon. I've been with a couple of girls who liked being tied down, held down, handcuffed, etc. I doubt many guys would be put off by it.

  • Perfectly normal Hon. As far as how to ask? Three words. "Tie me up"...if a guy is going to be OK with it to start with...that'll do it. (LOL)

    Then I take a feather...and...Ahhhh that's another story !

  • No it is not that odd, infact it is quite a common fantasy. If my wife asked me to do it with her I would, partly to help her to fulfil her fantasy, but also to add an extra spark to our relationship. Some people might think it was weird, but I guess that would tell you that you are not sexually compatible.

    Make sure if you do it though he does not do what a woman did to a friend of mine. She tied him up naked on the bed just like he asked, then went to the shops leaving the front door opened, she then texted me and some other friends from his mobile saying "mate, I need your help. I am stuck in the bedroom, the door is open". It was hilarious but a little embarassing for him!

    • Oh god ha ha I would die. That's pretty funny though

    • Seveninch raises a good point. A lot people just don't have imaginations and can't see all the horrible things that can happen. You wouldn't leave a baby home alone because a baby is helpless. An adult who is restrained is just as helpless. Improperly tied knots can cause permanent nerve damage. People can choke to death on their own spit. If you can't sit up it can kill you. Do not ever leave anyone restrained and unsupervised, and always have a knife or a pair of scissors handy.

  • I like the idea. I like it a lot.

  • From the "Bondage and Discipline" chapter in The Joy of Gay Sex:

    We assume you’ve chosen someone trustworthy to tie you up. To do otherwise is to

    place yourself in a particularly dangerous position. For example, a friend of the

    authors’ was sitting at home one evening. His doorbell started ringing and didn’t stop. When he opened the door, he found his next-door neighbor on his knees, naked,

    arms and legs bound by rope, ringing the bell with his nose. After having sex, his trick

    had left him bound and robbed him.

  • It is not weird but you have to be interested and you have to trust the other person.

    I never had the interest. I have never had the trust until meeting my wife but still, I'm not into that. But to whoever likes it... naw, it's not weird.

    • well I don't have any interest in it either..but wouldn't you do that for her if that is what she wanted?

      After all that's like my thing with pee..I don't expect for her to be into pee but it doesn't hurt her to let me have it either does it?

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    • Yeah but she is asking for us to tie her up..that's surely not a problem?

    • If she's asking for it, that's one thing. But if it's like, "I want to tie YOU up" then it's up to the individual. Even with her I'd be too vulnerable.

  • That is pretty common. Part of the #9 top female fantasies on this list link

    Chat your man up. See how he responds if you tell him you have been thinking about him taking you in the bedroom. If you want to start off a little easier, ask him to pin your hands down next time he is on top. Or find one of these cosmo style fantasies articles and send him the link.

  • Should this happen for you, be sure to have a method on hand to free yourself if needs be. You never know.

  • I wouldn't think it odd at all, might be fun.

  • hot

  • I want to tie a girl down with her legs spread and hands tied to the headboard. And a blindfold

  • No I don't think that is weird at all..nor do I think that my fixations/fetishes are wierd...what is between you and your love is your business..and no one else's..furthermore I don't think that most guys would freak out over that...most of these sexual things take some adaptation or getting use to..but that's no big deal...(:

  • Where's the rope?

  • you could tell him calmly

  • hhhmmmm...thats naughty but normal...its depends on the kind of guy you date...but as for me its cool

  • I think it's pretty common, I would like to be tied down also.

  • There's nothing abnormal in wanting to be tied up. I've always wanted to tie up a woman but have never quite succeeded. The closest I came was a girlfriend that liked for me to pin her wrists above her head when having sex . But when I wanted to take it a step further by tying her up she said no. I believe it was a trust issue. If you and your boyfriend trust each other then it will work out. I agree with the other commentors that you need a safe word. You never know when you may need to escape quickly, such as it the case of cramping/muscle spasms. But the bottom line is that a lot of men would like to try this so don't be too embarrassed in suggesting it to your boyfriend.

  • start some foreplay then grab a pair of handcuffs from under the pillows and say look what I found, and then give them to him and put your arms out and say sorry I've been a naughty girl.

  • I do not have a clue:/

  • You tell him you're too tired and just want him to do all the work this time. The best way he can make you come is to tie your hands above your head and take his time ravishing you. Being tied makes you able to let go, fight your restraints and just be selfish with your orgasm. Be sure to have a "safe word" in place in case you need to escape due to fear, muscle cramps, etc. Then give him this link as the target, end game ... but you want him to slowly tease you up to this point until you beg for this.


  • i would totally tie you down and have sex with you. You're such a cutie :D

  • I would love if my girlfriend did this stuff with me. It would be naughty and a little different. I also would like to be tied up with the girlfriend on top of me having sex with me. I haven't done it but it sounds exctiing

  • It depends on the girl. I've dated some girls who were very shy and it would weird me out if they asked. I've also dated some very spunky, hot headed girls and if they were to ask for this it wouldn't weird me out as much.

    Either way, I would have been willing to comply.

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What Girls Said 3

  • So not weird! I'm into it too, I think it's pretty common actually. I haven't had the chance to really try real restraints yet, but it's such a mental turn-on for me that there's no way I won't enjoy it. Not complex knots of super pretzel-y stuff really, just the idea of being restrained. =P

  • yes I have tried it with my bf... I don't believe its weird, actually I find it cool...

    I like been handcuffed during sex,it makes me use my body better in order to "replace" my hands ;-)

  • It isn't weird at all. I like it. My hubby wasn't the slightest bit freaked out when I told him. It may not be something that all men are into immediately, so don't bring out the leather handcuffs the first time unless he has made it clear that it is his kink too. Try starting with some satin scarves or with him holding you down with his hands. Ease him into it. Show him how much you like it and most men will have no problem eventually working up to tying you spread eagle. Good Luck! ;-)