Feeling very guilty about first full lesbian experience.

Question

I finally went all the way with amother girl. I'm living on college Rez & was drunk... I am very certain my situation is not unique. Anyway, I am ethnic and grew up in a very strict house hold about sex that has left me really messed up in regards to sexuality. I have just ben going full force with the sex and pushing my limits.. And I really did the lesbian thing only so I would know what it's really like to be with another girl.. like even just 1 time before I die.. just having as much life experiences as possible.Anyway, I am 28 & she's only 17. When I found out she was that young I was pissed. It's legal, but I thought she was a mature student like me, and thought she was like 23 years old. I am obviously not a tradtional college student and am not out to party, I have only partied twice because I didn't go to college when I was in my youth & feel like I missed out. So the point is I have been feeling like sh*t about the partying, and VERY Guilty about this lesbian expereince. I would never consider hookinh up with her again. Should I feel this bad? Advice?PS - guys, now I know what you go through whenever achick wants to cuddle.. and all that.. espcially after you come. Damn did I ever want to sleep.. but all she wanted to do was cuddle! :D

TheAnswerer · Accepted Answer

First of all, is there any way that you can go back in time and change anything you have done?

No.

So, there's no need to fuss about it. What you feel about it is not going to change it, so don't waste your time, energy or mood thinking about it, unless your thoughts are positive.

Second of all, why should you feel guilty? You are exploring your sexuality, and are experimenting with different cases. You couldn't have known how it felt without trying it, and now you know. You have gained knowledge and experience, and you have practically lost nothing.

If you didn't like the experience, or if you simply enjoy heterosexuality more than homosexuality, you can forget about what happened and move on with your life.

The guilt you feel will eventually pass, because there is no reason for you to be guilty. Just try not to make any important decisions while you are influenced by this strong negative emotion. You might regret it later. Instead, wait until you feel more "neutral" about the whole thing, and make your decision then.

Thoughts guide people better than emotions do.

CuriousEddie · Accepted Answer

I don't understand the guilt. I guess the implication you're making by the referring to partying, so I assume this means that you were drunk at the time.

I hope you don't feel guilty about having sex with another woman... if anything, feel bad about drinking and making decisions that you wouldn't have made when you were sober.

It happens... people party and sleep together and regret it. Don't make a big deal out of, and don't make a big deal that it was with another girl. Like you said, you wanted to experience it. Obviously, she did, too, and she certainly knew her own age.

Chalk it up to an experience, and a lesson learned about drunken encounters, and move on. Perhaps someday you'll want to experience something with another woman when it isn't as a result of partying... or maybe not.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I get you I am about your age and back to college for the second time and I am around younger people and I don't even know...Guys around 19 ask me on a date and what should I say? how old are you?...

Would you feel less guilty if it was a boy?

Where the guilty comes from the fact she is a girl or her age?

I mean guys around our age or older sleep with younger guys all the time, nobody judge or feel guilty if it isn't illegal...

I also know what it is to be raised in a strict household because that's how its been with me and no matter what my parents make sure anything sexually before wedding its a hooker behavior , but I am pretty horny and well I am still a virgin but I don't know when I might go wild...

I think its good that you had this lesbian experience I believe most girls are curious about it, I know I am not a lesbian but I would totally do it once just to know how it is you know...

so don't feel bad, you did what you felt was right

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

well to be honest, that's what you get for deciding to go out and be a skank. There are a lot of girls out there who were repressed sexually because of a strict household, but that doesn't mean you grow up and push your limits sexually with people you hardly even know! I mean hell, you didn't even know the girl's age! You need to get tested. Wake up to reality, no guy wants a dirty p**** just because a girl wanted to "push her limits"

05Jueey · Accepted Answer

I don't think you should feel guilty because it is your life and only youcan tell yourself what's wrong. It's just another life experience! We learnfrom each one! Now you can hopefully conFidently say yes I know now I am attracted to men or botb or women

JackWSmith · Answer

You should only feel bad if she thought it was more than sex. If she thought this was something real, and for you it was just sex, you should feel bad. Otherwise, you haven't done anything wrong. Your house was really strict about sex, so you need to do some stuff to break out. Maybe you should do it again. Every time you do it, you will feel less and less guilty, and will know more about yourself. In our society, what you did is okay. A lot of women do this. Don't look back. You only live once. Have fun, and don't worry about other people's rules. The only rule that you should worry about, is not hurting anyone. No one was hurt. God doesn't care. Everything is cool.

I'm guessing this was legal because you live in a place where the age of consent is sixteen or seventeen. There is a real high probability that the admins will remove this because it depicts sex between an adult and a minor. You should update and tell us where you're from and why it's legal. They'll still probably take it down, but maybe if it's legal where you live they''l leave it alone.

kidmichael1 · Answer

Sounds like you're upset with HER, but it also sounds like perhaps you enjoyed the experience itself? If you didn't like the feeling of what was going on, then just put it all behind you. You had the experience just like you originally wanted, so cross that off your bucket list.

My advice would be to move on past HER, and re-evaluate your take a girl girl contact. I know about the "pushing limit's" thing. Sometimes you like what you just did and would do it again...other times you won't...and sometimes?...You just have to think about whether or not you want to try it again.

Belgie · Answer

So long as you left her in as good a condition as you found her (clean, happy, eager, uninjured) then you're fine. The age difference might squick you out a little but it wasn't done maliciously.

You've added to your life experiences, learned something about yourself, and no one got hurt. Sounds like a win to me.

jacquesvol · Answer

" first full lesbian experience. " "but all she wanted to do was cuddle! " If she felt well after it, you too can feel well. If shee felt assaulted or raped, you have a problem.