Sex on fourth date--have I blown it with the guy

[bridgetjones5]

ok so I met this guy online: first date great dinner meeting with chatted for a long time waitress got annoyed we were taking so long lol. when I left he hugged me and kissed my cheek. second date: met at nine hung out til place closed at 2:30 in morning, he walked me to car, another hug and kiss on cheek. third date he came over with pizza we watched movie hung out six hours on couch dying laughing and telling stories, when we said goodbye he gave me real kiss was great. fourth date I went to his house he made dinner for me. got there at 630, again talked and laughed and watched a movie and chatted til 2 in the morning...he didn't try any moves at all we just sat close on couch. as I was about to leave, he kissed me goodbye things got heavy pretty quickly and we ended up sleeping together. it was very passionate and he was very affectionate after...he held me all nite, even his legs were wrapped over me...woke up in morning we both stayed in bed even though we knew we'd be late for work. we talked and talked and cuddled, then kissed a while then ended up sleeping together again. afterward we cuddled some more and then he offered to make me breakfast. I left over two hours late for work but was happy as heck lol. but now some of my friends are saying I blew it by sleeping with him already. but my thing is I felt comfortable with him, I think he is genuinely good guy and I am OK with my decision. to a degree. can't get my friends' voices outta my head. the guy and I talk a few days a week, also some texts here and there, but we are both very independent hardworkding people, both divorced in 30s and I'm OK at this point that we don't talk every day... but now I'm not so sure if not talking every day is a bad thing. anyway, have I blown it? can guy think I'm cheap for sleeping with him on the fourth date (we've been talking for just over a month)? or if he likes me, genuinely likes me like I feel he does, does he not care that we slept together this early?

[BlackBear18]

I don't think that you're cheap for sleeping with him on the fourth date (only you can determine yourself as inferior or cheap in this case by giving yourself consent of thinking that). Some women sleep with men on the first date. The only thing that really matters is what you think and what your male companion thinks. If you are really nervous about what he thinks then you should ask him about you and him sleeping on the fourth date. If it went as good as you say it did then trust me from a guy's perspective he won't think you're cheap because he was really enjoying himself during the sex and if he does then he is just as cheap as you if not more for making that assumption. This is coming a guy's dating and sex mentality. Also don't worry about what your friends are saying about your relationship with this guy because it seems like they are jealous of you and new romantic experience. I hope my advice can help you out in some way or fashion and best of luck with this guy!

[bridgetjones5]

thanks so much...you give some great feedback and insight here and I appreciate it! makes me feel better for sure!

[Phoenix52]

Fourth date and you had sex. You know what? Who cares. It felt right and you went with it.

I'm sure he felt the same way too.

If he stops talking to you altogether, then that just plain sucks. With a capital S.

If he keeps the communication up, then it's all good.

Don't worry about it. We all love sex. But whatever you do, don't sleep with random guys too quickly. You got to get an emotional bond first, and I think you did that already.

[bridgetjones5]

thanks so much for your feedback! yes, it def felt right and until my friends said stuff I was very much OK with what happened. the ball's in his court, I think...as long as he calls tonite/early tomoro as usual to plan on our next date, I will feel I was right that it was OK. if he waits an extra couple days I may be a bit more worried...and totally agree that I don't do this with random guys. I'm not usually a romantic cheesy girl lol, but I just got so caught up in the moment! :)

[ImALuvrNotAFighter]

You definitely should have waited quite a bit longer; whether you've blown it remains to be seen. Some guys are OK with moving that quickly, while others are not. Are you going to be exclusive at this point, or are you going to keep seeing other people? If he wants to meet other women, are you OK with that?

[bridgetjones5]

we haven't been seeing other people but haven't had the relationship talk yet so it is tricky ground I will agree...if he tells me he wants to talk to other women I will respect that but I will also move on then...

[ImALuvrNotAFighter]

You'll move on if he still sees other women? Why? Because you want to be exclusive with him at this point? If that's what you really want, you need to let him know that.

[bridgetjones5]

most likely yes...if he brings up other women it's a clue to me he's not really into me and what happened...and I take full responsibility for my side of it, but that's me...there are ramifications for me sleeping with him...for both of us...to me there is a difference between being boyfirend/girfriend and dating each other but willing to concentrate just on each other to see if we have potential. maybe I've read too many men are from mars women are from venus books tho lol but that's how I feel

[Phoenix52]

Dude, why the f*ck are you asking about whether or not they're seeing other people. THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE QUESTION AT HAND. AND BY BRINGING THIS SH*T UP, YOU'RE MAKING HER MORE WORRIED. So please, don't talk about it.

[bridgetjones5]

i also think I shdn't bring it up with him...things are going well and if I do right after he might wonder if I regret what happened or if I'm trying to get clingy...i'm not a casual type of girl with sex but I don't think he is either...and I feel we respect each other...so I'm not going to try to be pushy about things when things are def progressing nicely in the emotional aspect of the relationship, not just the physical.

[MOSTINTENSEPLEASURE]

Every guy is different but for me personally if I like a girl and she has sex with me from even the first date that does not change anything at all.

[bridgetjones5]

thanks for your feedback!

[JayCutler]

yes and no. I thnk that you both are old and mature enough to handle a situation like that..if you felt comfortable then why not if the feeling is mutual then why not?

[bridgetjones5]

good question...i def felt comortable at the time...and I think we were both surprised it happened...it wasn't like he was trying to hook up with me the whole night he was just a gentleman...so I was OK with it as I know he is good guy and I let myself go in the moment, something I don't do AT ALL so it's not like I'm one of those romantic girls who gets swept away very easily. just my friends telling me that it was mistake has me worried...they say he prob will keep things where they are now

[JayCutler]

best thing to do right now is not make the situation any awkward..just seat down and talk about but don't be so quick to through a title to your relationship with him now

[bridgetjones5]

i agree..def don't want to scare him off by asking him what everything means yet...i'm trying to keep him being the one who makes moves and conversations about this stuff as I don't want to freak him out. just he's the nicest guy I met in a long while so I'm a little nervous lol

[JayCutler]

well patient is a virtue..just relax

[bridgetjones5]

thanks...i'll try lol!

[JayCutler]

Ay I wish you the best of luck OK cause you seem like you really like this guy and I hope he doesn't turn out to be a douche..(excuse my lang)

[bridgetjones5]

haha thanks! and I hope he isn't a douche either, but if he is better to find out sooner than later right? thanks for all the great feedback! :)

[RebeccaSJ]

I had sex with a guy on the second date and now he's my husband.