I slept with him too soon, and I regret it.

[Anonymous]

I got carried away and slept with him for the first time a couple nights ago. Now I'm seriously regretting it and I realize that I'm not emotionally ready for a sexual relationship. We've been dating a month, and I feel that I rushed it. I know I messed up and I feel bad enough...we aren't in a committed relationship. So should I just end it with him or is there a way to tell him that I want to slow things down and wait a while before we have sex again?

[MShantelle]

Am going through this now and it is such a sick and confusing feelings. My high school sweetheart and I have liked each othr since 11th grade or so. He always tried to get with me but I did not let it happen because I was not open for a relationship was too caught up with school and life. After graduation he moved to Alaska where he was stationed for the military and I stayed in CT for college. It's my second semester junior year, he just finished his obligation in Alaska and moved back to CT. He came to visit me on campus. I was very nervous because we have known each other for four to five years but never kissed nor got physically intimate. We have called each other husband and wife since high school and still do. We have not actually hung out except briefly at track practice in high school or in the hallways at school because I was always busy. But while in Alaska we texted, Skyped and stuff so I was also nervous for what if we don't have that connection in person and what if it turns out our attraction is not as mutual. But when he came we kissed for the first time and realized mmmm we are compatible kissing and intimacy wise. Then it led to sex. It was great but now I am in such regret and still in regret for the last two days. I like him and it's mutual but I feel that I rushed things and I am considering staying away. But not sure what to do. I really like him and especially now that I know we are compatible on the intimacy level wise. But I don't know I feel low having sex so quick becuse he is someone I would actually like a relationship with. I know I would not care so much if it's a guy that I was just having sex with or just had sex with bdcause it was just for the sex but I really like this guy.

[saphirasilverwings]

You can end things now if that's what feels right to you, but you can also just make a decision to take things slower from now on. If he can't respect your decision, then definitely move on. There is nothing you can do but make better choices from here on out, and there's nothing wrong with that. Try not to feel bad or regretful- you know how you feel now and that's the best anything can do.

[SuperCurious]

Let him know that things got carried away, it was great, but you want to take things slower. If he doesn't respect that, then move on

[kheserthorpe]

Realistically, slowing things down is tricky, you need to REALLY communicate what's going on and what you're thinking, or something in his brain will be saying 'she thought you sucked in bed'. Its also ... well just tough. Like if he asked you to be his girlfriend, then said 'actually its too soon, lets not be monogamous yet, then asked you go be his girlfriend again 3 months later ... I bet you'd be kind of upset by that.

You can try to slow things down, but if you really like him, I'd suggest speeding UP the parts of the relationship that are lagging behind. If you want a little more commitment and so on, I'd say 'I didn't mean to have sex before we were committed, but I'm really attracted to you. I DO want to keep having sex and I DO want a relationship ...' HE moved too fast too, and now he needs to - maybe sooner then he intended - decide if he wants to give a relationship a shot, or not.

[Asker]

That's the problem...I really want a relationship but I didn't tell him. Now I'm scared he'll only see me as a hook up. Its my fault and I take responsibility. I guess I just need to sack up and tell him how I feel. But he hasn't called since it happened and its been 2 days...so maybe its already over.

[kheserthorpe]

You could always call him. Yeah, you gotta sack up and tell him. Honestly, I doubt you 'screwed anything up'. If he was going to want a relationship, he still will, and if he doesn't want one now, he probably wasn't going to have wanted one.

[Asker]

That is a really good point. Thanks for your insight...this was very helpful :)

[MOSTINTENSEPLEASURE]

One other thing you can do is analyze your self and find out why exactly you regret it, why do you feel negative about what happened, maybe then you can see it more positively that what you did was not as bad as you thought.

[MOSTINTENSEPLEASURE]

Having sex with a guy is not a big deal, you could fully enjoy it with no regrets what so ever :)

[Asker]

well he hasn't called me since it happened...its been 2 days, and that's a bad sign. now if he calls me again, I'm gonna feel that it's only to hook up

[MOSTINTENSEPLEASURE]

There are 2 related questions other girls asked today, maybe you can get some more info from there, I can not yet post links so search for the title below: He did a total 180 after sex Signs he is only keeping you around for sex

[Asker]

Thank you! This is very helpful :) I appreciate it.

[l-hedoniste]

"is there a way to tell him that I want to slow things down and wait a while before we have sex again?"

Show him this post; I can't come up with anything better.

[Blankname1]

Just take your time to explain that you wanna take things slower.

Good luck

[Anonymous]

So you got carried away, now you've had time to think about it, so now you have to do what's best for you. Don't do something you don't want to do, you are regretting it now and you'll definitely be regretting it later.