I am considering hiring an Escort, eventually - Need input from men and women alike

[SevenWindsNineMoons]

This is more for girls who have experience in the field or know friends who have but you can answer based off your views of what you might do as well. How do you feel about this work? Would you suggest this course or would I be hurting someone, ultimately? The few escorts I have read the blogs of seem okay with it but I don't want to hurt people. What I want is, basically, someone who will pretend to want to be with me for a few hours. Let me cling to them, pour emotion into them, compliment and kiss them on the lips, and smile and enjoy it (or seem to). Basically, I want to feel loved and for someone to treat me like I am normal for a little while. Have any of the guys out there actually hired one before? Do you have any tips for me in terms of safety, prices, and the like? What do you think about it? Is it the right/wrong way to go? MY STORY (Feel free to Skip) Recently, I have turned thirty years old and have begun considering going to an escort service or the like. I make decent money (and am nearly done with a degree that will boost my income to boot) so money, within reason, isn't an issue so much. Before anyone gets too mad I am not interested in doing this because I want to conquer a woman or something like that. I have no hatred for women and even did research to determine escort as my choice despite higher costs specifically because I want to be with someone who chose that lifestyle and didn't have it foisted on them by poverty, sexism, an abusive pimp, or the like. The reason I am doing it is because I am a virgin and the prospects don't look good for that changing. I have had many first dates and no second dates, never met a single girl who had a crush on me, and in the physical appearance department I am roughly a 4 to 6 depending on how much time I spend getting ready. I always look my best, of course, but I have off days. Generally, I have been told I give off a creepy vibe by the few women nice enough to answer the why of it. Didn't say anything creepy, didn't show up without a shower or talk about anything uncouth, it was just an "aura" I had, to use one of the girl's words. I have never understood the small unspoken cues and communication like other people seem to and there is no way to learn them, I have looked. I learned how to move my hands while talking and how to alter the tone of my voice in conversation by watching and mimicking stand up comedians. I am not a complete freak but I simply don't see nonverbal cues, at all. The effort it would take to change that (something I have worked on for the past decade and a half) has come to outweigh the benefits and, as I now have a great deal of money, I feel that simply hiring an escort would grant me what I need. I haven't given up on changing myself, just considering options. Nothing set in stone here, that is why I am asking it. Feel free to answer Anonymously

[Anonymous]

Basically, escort is just a more expensive form of prostitute. If it makes you feel better to spend more money on an "escort", then go ahead. But the experience won't be particularly different from the basic prostitute experience.

You've done the research, so you know what you're looking for. Code words like GFE (Girlfriend experience) are what you're looking for.

Most girls will state up front on their website that they don't take a client without speaking to them on the phone first. If you're in a country where prostitution is illegal, you can't use that phone time to specify what she'll do, unfortunately, as you may be a cop. Normally, you can.

Some girls will make a point of saying that they deal with first timers and virgins. When it comes to escorts or prostitutes, every guy recaptures that moment of virginity in the sense that it's their first time to pay for sex. So there's that.

You've already heard the warnings like wear a condom. Let me add a psychological warning. Don't ever get emotionally attached to the girl, no matter how good an actress she is at the GFE thing. It's a job, and you're a John, and that's it.

You may be tempted to see the same girl multiple times, and think you can build a relationship with her. I'd highly recommend not doing that. See a different girl each time. See at least 10, I would say, over a period of time. Get practice having sex, as well as having the GFE. And look, it's your dollar, to spend however you want. You might as well get the "Girlfriend" to give you her honest opinion on how you can meet girls, and what you might be doing wrong. You say that some girls said you gave off the wrong aura or vibe or something, when they were goodly enough to give you a reason at all... well the escorts aren't being paid to bullsh*t you and if you pay them for an opinion, you'll get one.

10 escorts will be expensive though. The cheaper end escorts can run over 400-600 dollars per hour. That's why I said you shouldn't limit yourself to the girls who call themselves escorts. It's just branding. There's really no difference between the 2000 a night escort, and the prostitute who also advertises GFE but for much less.

Good luck.

[SevenWindsNineMoons]

Ah thanks. I wasn't sure on the lingo so I appreciate the insight. I suppose I could just research on the Internet but, unfortunately, I prefer to try and ask people who have no reason to really lie. You never know if something you read randomly on the net is legitimate or something made for laughs. In regard to cost, my worry with less expensive is some form of victimization going on. In my research I read a lot of horror stories from the street walking types so I want to avoid that, if I can.

[Opinion Owner]

Understood, but as someone who uses a lot of hookers, horror stories on the internet are a vast exaggeration. Much like if you only watched network news, you'd think the internet was rampant with child p*rn. I've never come across a girl who wasn't doing it for one of two basic reasons. 1) They loved sex 2) They money was great. Most were (2), but a rare few were (1).

[l-hedoniste]

I have no problem with escorts, so get one if that's what floats your boat. But I promise you, an escort won't give you what you need, and they won't solve your problem. What you need are some good, solid friends, and LOTS of dates.

Your game, clearly, is off, and the problem with an escort is that they won't improve anything; she'll hold you, kiss you, f*ck you and take your money, and your game will still be off. You need a plan for *improvement*. This ain't it.

Here's what your friends will do. You're going to go to a social gathering, and they're going to critique EVERYTHING. It's going to hurt. You're going to hear a lot about yourself that you might not want to change. Tough; if you're doing something to repel people, you have to fix it before people will tolerate you. Ask someone with bad breath.

From here it's like learning any skill: attempt, evaluate, correct, attempt. Wash, rinse, repeat.

If you do this, if you take it seriously, if you're disciplined, then you *will* get dates and you *will* get laid. But you have to fix yourself first, and that always takes some work. Good luck.

[SevenWindsNineMoons]

Thanks. I haven't given up on working on myself but was mainly looking for a quick fix as well as to demystifying the situation so that there is no pressure. The big issue with stuff like lack of experience, I find, is that there is a lot of mental baggage that comes out in the wash. Fear of the unknown. Buy the experience and I demystify it and, hopefully, remove the baggage. That was sort of my ideal turn out for it, but I am ignorant so I prefer to ask others for help who have experience.

[l-hedoniste]

When you hire an escort, you're not getting an "experience"; you're getting a "service". You are paying for the skills that someone has offered for hire. While that's great for demystifying commercial transactions with sex workers, you won't get too much more mileage than that. If you want to demystify dating, DATE.

[PHLove]

They're escorts, a part of them is hurting inside whether they show it or not. There may not be a pimp involved but there's something going on, no girl grows up going, "I want men to pay to sleep with me when I'm older." I mean you've already acknowledged that everything they do is just going to be because you're paying them, not because they actually want to. If you think it'll help your confidence then try it but worrying about hurting an escort's feeling is like worrying you're going to bother a cashier while they ring you up, you're not going to bother them or hurt them, it's their job. But just be aware that this may also make things worse.

I personally get nothing out of completely meaningless sex with someone that I don't care about, in all honesty I feel worse than I did before. I slept with a guy once that I liked and thought was cute and all but I didn't really have feelings for him and afterward I didn't feel like I'd accomplished anything, I didn't feel good about myself, and I just felt kinda empty. While we were having sex everything was great but afterward it was different. Some people can do meaningless sex, I can't (and as a result I haven't had sex in awhile because no one's really sparked my interest now that I know I need more than just a hot guy). You sound like a nice guy who (no offense) is just a little awkward, you don't sound like someone who can bang one out and move on and act like you just needed sex as a stress relief.

[SevenWindsNineMoons]

I have read that p*rn stars and prostitutes/escorts, both male and female, generally come from somewhat troubled pasts and they seek out those lifestyles as a result. Still, I have tried to find testimonials of these people (reading p*rn star blog entries and stories told by them) to try and determine what harm I do. If I suspect I am taking part in harming someone I won't do it. This isn't a sure thing, that is why I am asking. That said, I hadn't considered the emotional impact. Thanks.

[PHLove]

They're hurting themselves and are too f*cked up to know it, that's not just p*rnstarts and prostitutes that's anyone engaging in self destructive behavior. I bet if you asked Lindsay Lohan she'd say she's fine. You're not hurting them, they're hurting themselves with or without you.

[Anonymous]

A 30 year old male virgin is better than being tainted by a whore being as your asking. If you f*** a whore you're f***ing all the guys/people/animals she has. No quality woman will ever touch you after that so you spoil your chances of finding love with a real girl who is actually attracted to you and into you for all the right reasons. A whore will just take your money and you'll get nothing back except the physical which is short lived.

[SevenWindsNineMoons]

Well, to be fair that is why I don't seek out the more street walking type variety - the exploitation and the potential for disease is higher with them and it would just be adding more victimization on top of what they already have suffered. I must admit, you seem somewhat hostile to them which is unfortunate as they are victims. As for me, clearly this isn't something I would wear on a Tshirt or advertise in much the same way that a guy who learns to talk without slur doesn't advertise the how.

[Opinion Owner]

You are deluded if you think that whores are victims, they do it because they like sex and are no good at anything else. I'm not hostile its fact because I know three escorts and that's where you fall down sir, you're romanticising something that has no importance to a whore and therefore you'll be dissatisfied from it. Whores are diseased no matter how much they cost or why you think about hiring one, you're a nice enough guy not to degrade yourself that way. They're filthy and you are clean

[ElijahCynicism]

Usually the answer to this question is 'No', usually with a few derisive comments, but I don't feel that, from you. While your story retains the same basic elements - virgin, girls don't like you, told you're creepy etc. - it has much more charm and wordlyness to it, and you seem to have a sort of cultured air. I don't know why, but while usually I tell people this is the wrong reason to hire a courtesan of any description, for you, it feels right. I think it'd be a good experience for you, certainly an interesting one.

So I say go for it, I'd encourage you to do it.

I'm actually looking to do a similar thing, funnily enough, but as opposed to hiring an escourt, finding a real Brothel, like a Bordello-style brothel, with a kind of laid-backness. My reasons are waaayyy different though, I won't get into that. But, yeah, I think you should. Its not as big a deal as people make it out to be, its fairly common, especially among wealthy men like yourself...

[SevenWindsNineMoons]

Thanks for the input. I appreciate the sentiment and I have always had a large vocabulary since I was young. My parents always said I talked like an adult, even as a little kid so I guess they must have been right. And I definitely wanted to go for escort mainly because I really don't want to be hurting any women over it. In my research I read what some women have gone through with pimps and don't want to be a part of it. The brothel idea sounds interesting and I hope that goes well for you too.

[Anywayysss]

i agree, and possibly that experience could help you improve on they way you come at girls. and possibly figure out what you can do so that you don't give off that creepy aura. sounds good to me.

[ElijahCynicism]

Thanks! And you.

[diabloknk]

Meh, go for it. Might even get rid of that "creepy vibe." You're clearly desperate, and desperation is definitely unsexy. Possibly even creepy. This might just fix that.

The only safety tip I can offer is for you to use a condom, but that's obvious. Don't know much else about the actual mechanics of hiring an escort.

[SevenWindsNineMoons]

I hadn't thought about that but you maybe right, it could help in regards to the creepy vibe by demystifying women a bit and boosting confidence by removing the trepidation. Also, I read that women can kind of sense a lack of sexual confidence and that it is a huge turn off so buying it might be a good way to fix that too. And I am with you on STD prevention stuff too. Thanks for the input.

[MikeK]

Well, just go for the sex portion. Don't invest any emotion into the escort.

It's probably not any consolation for you, but I was a 27 year old virgin who finally lost his virginity just this past summer (to a girl from my English class) when I thought I was never going to get laid.

I don't know what stopped me from getting laid over the years... but it finally happened

[SevenWindsNineMoons]

Hey, good for you. Congratulations on that. Did it help after it happened for you? That is what I was seeking was something that would help in that regard. Maybe I am just looking for a quick fix or a shortcut but I figure anything is worth a shot at this point.

[MikeK]

A little bit. My cravings for sex and jerking off stopped for about 2 weeks, but then, WHOA my appetite for it exploded. It helps because after you lose your virginity, you really come to realize how it's nothing special

[moviedude714]

Under this circumstance I see nothing wrong with it

[Anonymous]

to each their own i guess