After an argument/fight, will you have sex?

Question

When my boyfriend and I argue or fight, or have me end up in tears, I feel like avoiding any sexual contact for a few days so that I know that we're okay. We're arguing over him talking to an ex of his, and it makes me really upset. But even when we've somewhat made up, I still don't feel like having sex or anything sexual. I feel like if we have sex, and then break up a day or two later, then I'd feel really dumb.  Maybe its just me, but what would you all do?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think this is a common fear for young girls. You don't have much relationship experience yet.

Couples fight, from time to time. It's only the very young or the very foolish, who think every fight dances the death with the dreaded "breakup".

I'd have the sex.

Not only because sex is always better than no sex, but because sex is one of the best ways a guy in a relationship can feel that his bond with his girlfriend is strong, or getting better.

When couples have big fights... real big serious fights, and the woman decides she has to with hold sex until she feels they are back on even ground.. they will almost never get there. Men need that sex to heal and bond. Women don't, it's true. But if deny the man the chance, then she might get to the point where she thinks they're okay, but by then he'll be gone from the relationship. She damages the relationship, and any chance they have of reconciling, by removing his coping mechanism from him.

l-hedoniste · Accepted Answer

I always have sex. I'll disagree with my partner, even furiously, but I don't reject them; that's hurtful and mean.

Stacyzee · Accepted Answer

Depending how severe the argument is, I feel very unattracted to my partner and do not want him to touch me. If the argument is being settled and we are not completely over it, we usually have "make-up sex" or "angry sex". It all depends on how upset I am, if I allow intercourse. If it is something very serious like your issue, talking to an ex then I would keep my distance from him for a while sexually until he at least considered my feelings.

saphirasilverwings · Accepted Answer

If we have already made up completely, then yes. If we are still fighting or it still feels unresolved, then no. When I'm upset, especially upset with him, it's just not natural for me to want to have sex right at that moment. It would distract me and make it less enjoyable. I would wait until we had sorted everything out.

Crimson_Petal · Accepted Answer

After a fight, especially the big ones, I always want to have sex. It's a way of instantly making me feel closer to my partner and as it's one of the the few ways that men feel they can communicate being in love it helps to strengthen his bond to you. Sounds silly but it's true.

martyfellow · Answer

I always want to, it's the ultimate way to make up, but a lot of women aren't on that wavelength.

TiddlyDeeBaby · Answer

Me and my boyfriend can't stay angry and I can't stay upset, we always make out to make up and sex happens like normal, I'm lucky.

sovetskii13 · Answer

It's called "Make-up Sex. I sure would. It relieves stress, and gets all the anger out of the body. If you think about it, sex is good in so many. It's healthy in so many ways. Can cure physical problems, emotional problems, and so much more.