Being sexually open is ruining our generation?

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

I'd say it is. 1. Slutty Wives. * A lot of women are having sex with tons of men as apart of the new age " modern woman" movement. This is ultimately jacking up American woman's reputations, in respect to being women. * Guys (even though they are being hypocritical,) complain about not being able to find women who haven't slept with the whole block to be serious with and marry. Women, we have an image for being pure, innocent, clean etc - which honestly, I don't see what's wrong that - it's like so many chicks want to be the opposite? WTH? * Women want to be like the guys in this respect. " How come men get to have sex with whoever they want and not get ridiculed for it?" Because that's just life. I'm sorry ladies, but as a young woman watching my elders / role models bouncing from d*** to d*** - it's repulsive. I feel the exact same way for dudes who sleep with anything with a pulse. It's disgusting. All we're doing trying to be " equal" in this aspect, is making ourselves look like a bunch of sluts. We will never be seen as sexually equal - NEVER- and I mean come on, why are we fighting for the right to have sex with tons of men anyway? WTF? That whole idea is just superficial and ridiculous. 2. Marriage doesn't mean sh*t. * Everyone is so concern about getting what they want from someone else, that no one cares to put in real effort in maintaining a legit relationship. * Our current society praises being " swingers" and " fear of comitment," and people roll with it because they think traditional ideas are bad. What is wrong with working for romantic happiness, that deep companionship? WTH is wrong with that? 3. It's now okay, for young kids to have sex. * It's like society is giving the " Okay" for kids as young as 12 to bang each other. Sex in middle school is steadily common, sex in high school is disturbingly common. Parents don't give the talk anymore - just wear a condom and don't get pregnant. Have fun XD 4. FWB, Casual Sex, Swinging, Impulsiveness - when the hell do people draw the line? * Oh right, they don't, because we're praised for sex. Men become gods when they get a lot of p**** - in an odd contrast - women are seen as being sexier, more desirable in the media if she's confident in her frivalous sexuality. ( sex in the city - Samantha.) * No one values the intimacy of sexy anymore. It's all about pleasure. Only about pleasure. You get the slightest sexual urge, and you have to go pounce on something. Seriously? Where's the control? 5. Rise in STD's / AIDS, Abortions, Unwanted pregnancies, Missing fathers, * That speaks for itself. ************************* I don't understand what is it with our sexually obsessed generation? Society had so much more value during " traditional times." This new age is ridiculous IMO...

[sa230e]

Oh I vehemently disagree. Our society is only "liberated" in the most superficial sense. Just because sexuality is no longer totally taboo does not make us free. We've only just begun to roll back the cover. On the outside we appear free, on the inside we are still imprisoned.

I think you have a very superficial and narrow understanding of human behavior . Blaming social dysfunction on sexual permissiveness is a cop-out. It's an intellectually lazy way of explaining away a complex problem and I don't buy it. Would you go out and commit crimes just because nobody told you not to?

People are not that simplistic. They don't do bad things just because they're stupid and weak. People do bad things because they have complex psychological issues. You take human beings for savages who will gladly lapse into hedonism and selfishness if they're not kept in line. Everybody has their baggage, even the most virtuous of us. When people have unresolved trauma and emotions they're repressing we express it unconsciously through deviant behavior . Nobody wants to delve into it and help them resolve their feelings but we god damn do we ever love to lecture them about morals and values when they slip up and act it out.

Sex is never just about sex. People use it and have used it as a way to fill in their inner void since the dawn of time. Sexual deviance is not more rampant so much as it is more visible. To pile more shame on people and sweep it back under the rug is both regressive and dangerous.

I think you also have naive and romanticised views about "traditional times". In traditional times people wedded for wealth and economic mobility. Wives were literally property of their husbands and they could not divorce them. Casual sex and teen pregnancy still happened and were often dealt with via shotgun wedding. Corporal punishment was common place. Parents didn't give the talk then either, they just told kids they were going to hell if they had sex. Kids were horribly shamed or physically punished for masturbating. Women got abortions in back alleys instead of doctor's offices. Gay people didn't even dare speak out.

If you think life "back then" was like Leave It To Beaver, you've been deceived.

I agree that women are still held to hypocritical sexual double standards but telling them to close their legs and have some self-respect is a giant step backwards, not forwards. Repressing people's sexuality is cruel and unjust. Healthy, positive sexual expression is critical to becoming a healthy, stable adult but it cannot develop in an environment of shame and admonishment. Neither can it develop in a culture where emotional intelligence is devalued leaving us easy prey to the psychological manipulation of marketing and advertising and blind to the needs of other people.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Good points - I wasn't talking about casual sex in general - just how sex seems to be so domineering in society. There's no longer, just having sex for reason - except for the pleasure of it. I mean, is it bad to enjoy something that feels good? No, but anything in excess will have it's consequences.

[MrOracle]

Keep in mind, that from the beginning of recorded history up to around 1960, the average marriage age for women was 17! And marriages as young as 14 were unremarkable, sometimes younger in rural areas. So while there was less sex outside of marriage, sex has always started at a very early age. It's just that it was more often "legitimized" through marriage. And as sa230e points out, marriages were rarely about love, and much more often about family politics or survival.

[archer86]

I would have thought the opposite were true. For the past twenty years or so, women in America have conducted the women's movement. It's the one where the femi-nazis have screamed that they don't like men(in fact, they hate us); they will never rely on a man again; they want to take over instead of being treated as equals and if we even THINK about trying to have sex with women, they will have our penises in a pencil sharpener! The results: divorce, man-hate and sexual harassment charges at an epic scale. Those women who are not so fanatical are sexually active and love their men, but they are not so liberal as to screw anyone. I can attest to that fact 100%.

I don't see wives screwing anything they can get their hands on, but I do see divorce like it's a requirement. it's never been OK for kids ages 12 or so to have sex, but it goes on because we do not regulate our kids activities effectively. Why? Takes a lot for a SINGLE PARENT to keep track of. Swinging is OK, but it's not rampant at the p*rn industry would like you to think and STD's are actually declining because we are now more aware of them and more focused on our personal contemporary goals.

The new age is not looking good, I agree. Yet the reasons behind it are different from you topic. We still have corporate corruption that ruins the lower and middle class. We still have racism that affects our daily lives in one form or another. Drugs are more rampant than ever. Global warming and overpopulations are finally being recognized as a real problem. Finally, I can't give a pretty woman a compliment without getting sued for harassment. Those I think are greater issues than sexuality

[kady4e]

I agree with you in every single point.

I'm really opened about my sexuality (but not in that bad way) - being informed and knowing what you like is way too different than sleeping with every guy you can to find that out.

1 - it's not just an American problem.

All world is looking at sex differently nowadays. Guys can complain that their wives slept with a lot of other men, but they will complain if they reach their 20's and are still a virgin. Guys just have sex if we (women) let them - that's the true - if women just had sex after marriage, all boys and girls would be virgin till then.

2 - I do have "fear of commitment" because all guys I've been interested in don't want the ''romantic happiness'' and ''deep companionship'', they just want to fu*k me up or, like it is called nowadays, be ''friends with benefits''

3 - I don't think it's wise the parents just let their kids do that, ''but if they will do that anyway they shouldn't be protected?'' (somebody can ask) - they will be more protected if they had a solid information about sex (what that mean, what's the importance doing it with the right person at the right age, etc), about love, about respecting themselves and the others... and, just a condom on the right time doesn't give any of that - and that's not a thing they teach us on school either. My parents never talked with me about anything of that and I didn't knew nothing of it when I take the step that I regret till now - so, yeah, parents should be talking much more with their kids and they don't do that because kids are already exposed to all kinds of info about sex, but the wrong info!

let's take a look at the movies/series on tv... ''Oh, that girl is 14 and she's sleeping with her boyfriend!''... hum, nop! That girl on real life is 22, and she was paid to do that scene by some person who knew if she showed up naked it would have much more audience - MARKETING!

kids are exposed to all the wrong kind of information on TV and that's what's turning society in what it is now...

4 - try to spend all day thinking about this word ''sex'' and repeat it every 2seconds (sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, ...) next day, when you wake up, even if you don't wanna think about it anymore, that word will just run into your head over and over again. more you try to stop it, more things will make you think about it... and if you just forget about it, someone will make you remember...

people get obsessed about things they think too much about. this society is now obsessed with sex, but, just because the major part are the ones who are, it seems like the other part are the outcast, and most of people don't wanna be the ''outcast'' so they just join it and stop caring about their principles.

5 - that really speaks for itself

[kady4e]

thanks for BA =)

[Anonymous]

I completely 100% agree!

There are exceptions but they are few and far between. Luckily I've found one of those guys but it took a lot of searching and being quite picky :) But even we aren't as traditional as it used to be...premarital sex /: but we are completely devoted to each other and we will get married. I've only had sex with one other guy before him, one time and it was the biggest mistake of my life.

It's becoming worse with the generation of kids having kids and not knowing how to properly raise them and not setting a good example /: it has always existed but it is worse than ever now.

I strongly agree with the FWB/casual sex thing. That is just sad to me...and disgusting.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Well spoken girl - I'm so glad you found a guy who has good sense like you do lol. Premarital sex - I mean it happens. What makes this case less severe than casual sex, is that you guys actually have a connection going. A lot of people get temporary boyfriends / girlfriends majorly for the sake of sex.

[Opinion Owner]

call me naive and sheltered but I didn't even know things such as FWB even existed until I got into college...and then all of a sudden boys started pursuing me JUST FOR SEX! hahaha it blew my mind :D it's sad but it's rampant...and there really doesn't seem to be a cure for the damage we have done in our society /:

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Ha ha - I knew a lot about sex growing up - a lot unfortunately, of my friends were on the promiscuous side. I've had so many tell me to just lose my virginity, guys try to preposition me for sex. This was just high school lol. I had two guys ask me for sex in middle school. I think that's speaking for itself here. However, in the end, I was the one who helped my friends to stop being so focused on sex, and it got them in very good relationships / more confidence etc.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, good for you for sticking to your guns throughout it all and helping your friends! you know what's up! lol

[lustful1]

i agree with you for the most part but just because woman are more open about it these days doesn't mean they are slutty but for girls who think they can just sleep with almost any guys and thinks its OK just because guys do it that's just plain wrong... but I do think that sex is being taken for granted these days but I think its because of the media making it seem ok

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

I hate that " women being open = slutty," but it does. I mean. That's just the reality. It's unfair yes, but that's how it works. And the way women are going about trying to make it " equal" is really contradictive :\ And yes, everyone is so hypnotized by the media. Whatever propoganda tells us how we should be, we take it as truth. what happened to being independent thinkers?

[lustful1]

and I completely agree with you media effects us in so many areas in our live but expecially the sexuality side of us and makes us think things we should do and were not thinking for our own so yes I agree with you 100%

[TurbulentDan12]

I think it entirely depends on the individual. There are some people who would not be as sexually open and wouldn't run into the problems you listed if they weren't exposed to as much as our society does expose children to. I don't think that it is possible to know exactly how many people would be changed for the better if sex wasn't such a prevalent subject in our society, but there are at least some.

The other side of the argument is that having a very open culture allows people to understand better and be able to be more comfortable with who they are.

I think there are negatives and positives to the situation and whether the positives outweigh the negatives depends on the individual. I know I personally am not involved in any of the negative aspects you mentioned so I believe that the openness of our society can only help me. But this may not be true for everyone.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Idk - I think what you mean by depends on the individual - is more so how the individual perceives it. And your right, everyone will look at this concept differently. However, I don't really understand what you mean by " sex brings understanding." How so? And what would be positives of this? I feel like the negatives terribly outweigh the positives (if there's any,) even if the individual cares to agree or not - the reality of the situation is boldy speaking for itself...

[TurbulentDan12]

Well imagine if there were no sex-ed classes in school and no way for a young child to learn about sex on their own other than through their parents. If the parents don't teach them what to think how are they supposed to make their opinions on sex? As a young teen or even younger for some, I don't think sex is something you should figure out yourself.

[AltTech]

You thank the failure known as pop culture for this mess. The entire country is going down the drain, and not just from a moral standpoint. From a political and monetary standpoint as well.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Omg I know - it's pathetic. What makes this situation worse, is the fact that so many people are so easily wavered by aspects in the media, pop culture, society. I'm like wth, it's 2011, why can't people think for themselves? No one really cares the country is going to sh*t - because no one is really trying to do anything about it. We're so caught up in the vanilla illusion of America, that we've allowed our government to get this terribly out of whack. I just don't get people these days.

[kheserthorpe]

There are a few underlying drivers, beyond just 'people being dumb sluts'/

- Economic pressures are causing people to get married _much_ later. Tons of people who are well educated are getting married at 30+. You know when in history people waited till their 30's to have sex? That's right, never.

- More women chasing fewer men means they adopt more promiscuous dating patterns. Why are there more women then men? Well, its in certain pockets, but a lot of them:

- - in inner cities, where masses of men are in jail. Seriously. Like 2.5 million u.s. men are in jail. Not that many of them are rich white boys.

- - on university campuses, many of which are now 60% female. 60% is massive. That means 3 women for every 2 men. That's an _enormous_ imbalance.

- - Among the young and university educated.

So you combine late marriage, a number of dating pools skewed to fewer men, continued fall out from the birth control pill, tons of people who've grown up in broken marriages ...

[Belgie]

"Society had so much more value during " traditional times.""

The most oft-repeated oft-believed lie throughout human history.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

You don't think so? I feel like society was less superficial in my parent's day. People too more pride in their work, themselves, had better work ethics, focused on making something of themselves, working hard etc.

[goflipaburger]

hahaha

[Belgie]

What was your parents generation? The pot head free loving 60's? The swinging 70s? The coke-addicted 80's? There's a reason parents paint a golden picture of their past for the kids sake. But it's never been true.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Um I think they were the 70's - 80's. I mean yea, every generation has it's bad, and those things ruined aspects of that generation. Just as sex is ruining aspects in our current generations. I just think what makes it a bit more severe here - is that American society has become so unbelievably superficial in what actually matters. I'm sure it was superficial in those times too - but it's gotten bad these days. No one cares about anything but what they can gain.

[Hades]

The West has been in decline since the 60s. Geez, what a disaster that decade was.

[Quantumus]

I agree. Without being hypocritical, I'd say that I wouldn't pursue a woman with the desire for a serious relationship if I were to know that she was very promiscuous. It is repulsive, and not something that our generation should be very proud of having acquired.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Right, now in reverse - how is it that people who are promiscous, think it's okay that they pursue people who are not? Like I think people really need to put their foot down about this. Guys do it more to women, but it should be done for all people. Why is it okay for someone to have slept with tons of people, be able to get someone who took more value in themselves, and feel that they are inclined to have a serious relationship - only when their done slutting around town? Wth?

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

I personally think in some ways it is, yes.

[longrodvonhugendong]

If there's a problem with this in the US, it's that we're supposed to hide our sexuality when we're young. Parents who are active in their kids' lives try to keep their kids from having sex until they're out of the house, so people grow up thinking sex is taboo rather than just another part of life. In my opinion, there's too many conservatives in this country who freak out about open sexuality.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Idk - I think it helps to be conservative to a degree. You know there are people who have sex with their siblings and young children as apart of their sexual liberation. So. If it's wrong to draw a line - I think that's a bit messed up don't you think?

[dx021]

okay, here's my question for you then-

what are you doing about it? are you holding other women accountable ( slut shaming does do wonders ). do you have a huge sexual history and are being hypocritical or do you stick by what you preach

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

I've called girls sluts to their face - only when they were though. Casual sex women eh - depends on the situation. Lol I'm still a virgin, I wouldn't have posted this if I was doing the same thing.

[stillagoodgirl]

I think so and people act like its OK to watch p*rn in high school! I feel like I should have been born earlier..ppl nowadays that are my age are disrespectful to elderly people and don't care to cuss around them and younger children.

Also shows like teen mom& 16 and pregnant make it seem OK to have children so young

[johari]

I think its confusing them and they grow up too fast

[Hades]

Indeed. When you seek pleasure everywhere you find it nowhere. Western women (and men...I guess) tend to not be cool when love and relationships are concerned.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

" When you seek pleasure everywhere, you find it nowhere." Brilliant statement. Yea it's so crazy to me. Why does sex and pleasure hold so much more value than love and relationships? Such a silly concept - and people wonder why it's so hard to find decent partners here. Because everyone's mentality is so screwed up.

[Senses]

I agree with you in everything! You're so right!

5*

[NewClassic]

It sure is I wonder if there'll be a boom of teen parents

[Benzpunani]

It’s disgusting how people sit on their perfect high horses and judge people. Some people become hyper sexual after being raped but let’s just sit and judge. You’re a creep.

[Anonymous]

BOY are you going to be flamed and ridiculed. Startling wisdom for your young age. I think you hit the target with every shot. The challenge will be to maintain your bearing in the world you correctly descrfibe.

[Opinion Owner]

Wow. I stand corrected at the chorus of agreement.

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Lol tnx - and lol yea that surprised me too :P I thought I was going to be going head to head with all the sex crazed liberated people. But so far, all they've done is vote. They won't post anything because they know they'll get some ridicule and disagreement for it.

[Anonymous]

I agree just last night at a party a girl wanted to hook up with me and I denied her saying I was looking for a serious relationship not a one night stand.

[Anonymous]

I agree with everything you said. People live for the moment and do whatever they please. No morals or values anymore. Not to mention people that still have those values are usually corrupted and changed. Shits sad...