Still a virgin at 23 - how should I go about changing this? I'm not ready for another relationship.
I'm 23 and feel that I am missing out on an important part of life since humans are largely carnal beings. I don't know why I am still a virgin. I have been in two - albeit somewhat short lived - relationships, which for some reason I didn't allow thing to get past third base (a lack of initiative/confidence of my behalf I guess) In between that I rarely "get" with girls. I mean, opportunities arise when I am out at clubs and girls start flirting, but I am usually too drunk and/or dumb to know how the hell to react and lose out and also I know a few girls who like me, yet I just don't feel mentally able to be in a relationship (what with me completely f***ing things up previously).Anyway, I don't know what to do about this. I'm pushing on 24 and I really need to get over this inability to act like normal humans and take opportunities which might lead to other things. I guess I feel I need some kind of sexual awakening? I don't know, I just feel I am lagging way behind; not just in sex, but in the whole wider spectrum of sensuality, flirting, dating - the whole package. I'm not saying I want one-night stands all the time and become a player. Of course ideally it would be with someone I loved, but that just feels impossible for the time being and as I get older I worry that the apathy and passive approach to women is just going to get worse unless I approach it head-on.
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Most Helpful Opinion
Give up.A relationsihp is one thing.Getting laid is another. But it really loses its novelty fast if it's not part of a relationship with someone who actually gives a damn about you.> I'm 23That's about right. I lost my virginity when I was 23.To a woman.I first had sex with a man when I was 25.> I don't know why I am still a virginNobody you met thought you were worth a fvck.> for some reason I didn't allow thing to get past third base Your fault. There you go.>I just don't feel mentally able to be in a relationship Get to that point. Then get back to us.> I'm pushing on 24If you came packaged with a "BEST BEFORE:" date, what would it be?At any rate, you're not expired yet. At least you show interest. I know some women much older than you, and I'll bet they're still virgins and will be for life. Including an ex girlfriend (she's my ex for a reason) and a girl I lusted after in high school - I'll never know why she's still single.> just feel I am lagging way behind; not just in sex, but in the whole wider spectrum of> sensuality, flirting, dating - the whole package.I was 16 when I first kissed a girl.I was 25 when I firsed kissed a guy.I was 16 when I first went on a date with a girl.Any guy I was with was too closeted to be in public with me (or ashamed).There is time, my friend. Believe me, there is time.My second cousin once removed was killed in a car accident about a week before she was to get married. We were about the same age. She was working overtime preparing for her wedding, losing a lot of sleep. She apparently fell asleep while driving, crashed into a pole and died instantly. I attended her funeral. She was featured in Wedding Bells magazine that month and looked lovely. I hadn't seen her in person since we were kids. Was she a virgin still? I have no idea, but what I mean are that there are scenarios worse than yours. Relax. It will make things easier - for you. Be loving - and sex will come with it - bad pun.> I'm not saying I want one-night stands all the time and become a player.That is the part that became boring rather fast.> ideally it would be with someone I loved, but that just feels impossible for the time being But when you're ready to love, then love will be ready and waiting.> as I get older I worry that the apathy and passive approach to women is just going to get> worse unless I approach it head-on.Alright, man! So what are you waiting for?
What Girls Said 2
Most women aren't going to want a one night stand with a virgin. So I'd suggest actually dating and getting to know a woman while letting the sex part come naturally.