Nobody likes black women?

Question

as a black female I feel that it is much harder for us to find a guy to date or you automatically think someone of another race/ethnic group isn't attracted to you. personally I have NEVER been hit on my black men because at my university 95% of them date white or latin women (which I'm fine with) but I am always getting hit on by white men. I feel like stereotypes that we are loud, fat, short/nappy hair, rude or ugly is what prevents men from approaching or getting know us. what do you think? why is it harder for black women to find a man verses women from other racial groups?

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

A couple of random different points:

- Many, many women of all colors find serious dating in college to be difficult. Guys are in their sexual peak, and many/most are playing the field and taking advantage of all of the single, same-age women being around them, knowing that once college is over, much of the party is over too. It makes it more difficult for women, because if you want a relationship, you have to find one of the guys who wants the same thing, and isn't just out sowing his oats.

- You ARE getting hit on by guys. Sure, they're white guys, but is that a problem? Are you looking to date black men instead? Obviously, if white guys are hitting on you, then they've gotten past any stereotypes you might imagine they have. Anyway, be honest about what it is you're looking for.

- Unfortunately, black culture in America doesn't put a lot of importance on relationships (a trend that white culture is increasingly following). Many young black men have no interest in black women past being a sex partner or a trophy, and much of the culture encourages this. As a result, black men often have little respect for black women. That may be why you see so much interracial dating; relationships require respect on both sides.

There are plenty of exceptions to this trend though; but you'll have to put some work into finding them. Again, college can be tough for real relationships for everyone, so you're hardly alone in that.

I recommend maintaining your circle of friends, but try to start or join one or two others, to increase the pool of people you spend regular time with, and broaden your horizons. And maintain those networks once college is finished. Learn to tell the difference between guys who want a relationship and guys who don't, and don't waste your attentions on the latter. If you're a quality person, people WILL notice, and even if they don't seem to value that today, they will grow up and eventually they'll see you for what you are.

EngineeringStudent · Accepted Answer

From what I've read, there are a couple of factors that contribute to the general reluctance to date Black women:

1. Some just straight aren't attracted to them. Nothing can really be done here. Everyone has to go through it.

2. Some are attracted to them, but are turned off by the few bad seeds that always somehow manage to draw in all the attention, painting the rest in a negative light.

3. Finally, some may be attracted, but feel like Black women are only interested in Black men.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I personally have nothing against Black Women. I've dated a couple, and don't have any problems dating more. It's unlikely that I will, however. Since starting college, I've learned that I really like girls a bit on the nerdy side, of which there aren't very many Black variants. Black women that fit that "type" tend to not be attracted to Black men anyway. It's not really a racial thing though. If I were single and came across someone I liked that was my "type", I would date them, regardless of race.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I agree I do think it's harder for you guys. Partly because I've dated black men myself and I'll hear them complain about black women (this surprises me). The two explanations I've gotten are either that they don't find black women attractive, or the whole attitude thing.

White women are shown the most in p*rn. Most guys watch p*rn. Therefore most guys go for white women because p*rn teaches guys what they should find attractive. It's dumb but there ya go. It's sad to say but I think black people in general are still looked down upon by some. But because black men tend to excel in sports and become the university superstars, women gravitate toward them, giving them a lot of options. They then revert back to what p*rn has taught them to be attracted to, and they leave black women in the dust.

lemonadeparty · Accepted Answer

If I was a guy, or a lesbian. I would date the sh*t out of black girls. I think they're sexy.

If I had to guess though,

I would attribute stereotypes to being the reason most guys are scared to date a black girl.

Most guys also watch a ton of p*rn. Most p*rn the girls are all skinny white girls. So it might sort of program guys into finding them more attractive, if they wank off to them all the time.

tyt_2012 · Accepted Answer

I dunno. Maybe because light skin is seen as more attractive?

"Nobody likes black women"<<<< HOW can you say this AND then say this "but I am always getting hit on by white men." This is why you should always double check what you write m'lady

Bvroon · Answer

I am a white male, and were I single I wouldn't be opposed to dating a black/ African American woman, as beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. I must note though that as it has been observed by a few others, there are many stereotypes that abound in regards to African Americans. I suspect you are very atypical based on your initial posting, which may catch many men off guard, and this may be why you are having some difficulties finding someone you would like to date, as some men can be intimidated by intelligent women. I would suggest you remain true to who you are and keep your eyes open, as I'm sure you will find someone when you least expect it who is really interested in you for who you are. Try not to worry about the stereotypes as they do not apply to you. Remember you may have some challenges because you are uncommon not because of your race. I hope this helps.

pr3ttybr0wn · Answer

it's hard for "us"? no its hard for *you*

Phoenix1991 · Answer

I mean personally I'm open minded to all races, I go where the attractive faces are, whether its black,white, asian, Hispanic, purple,green,...well you get the point.

Thats not true about black women, I rarely find some attractive ones, but when I do my head does a 360 when they walk by.

So I don't think you should throw in the towel or lose hope. There is a guy out there with your name on him.

cjwright79 · Answer

I've never even talked to a black woman (or person) in my whole life, so I can't really speak to this issue.

ripvanwinkle · Answer

Pepper01, I am so sorry to hear your dating woes with black men. Often, black college men like to experiment in college. Some have not had an opportunity to meet high quality women of other ethnicities in high school or their neighborhood. However, most of them definitely will want to date you. In order to make yourself more attractive to them, I would suggest you be more chipper, upbeat, and learn how to flirt. Make sure you are buff, exercise, and wear more revealing clothes, "without appearing too easy." The black men will come. Have you actually tried to be friends with any guys. It does not sound as if you even speak to them in a friendly way. Also, you may want to hangout in the engineering building library, science labs, black fraternities, white fraternities, student unions, gym, and other places where guys go. If you have your heart set on dating white guys or other ethnic groups, perhaps you should join a white sorority or immerse yourself in other ethnic group clubs.

sovetskii13 · Answer

I'm white. Okay, I don't know you personally, but throughout my teen years, I have attracted more black girls than white. I am totally fine with that. Actually, because of that, I think I am starting to feel more attracted to black girls too. What you are saying about "Nobody likes black women" is totally not true. Maybe you just have a bad sense of humor or something. Try acting differently/nicer to people.

G-Daz · Answer

Of course they do, you just mentioned yourself that you "always getting hit on by white men", I'm gonna assume then you arn't that interested in white guys then since they obviously give you lots of attention but black girls are far from ugly or unnattractive

taster · Answer

LOL!  I love FEMALES...even BLACK ones luv!  Y'all got pheromones don't ya?  Yeah..ya know what I be talkin' about...You smell good...you quality!  <3<3<3=D

G_GTom · Answer

I don't date black women for a lot of the reasons you listed and others. I tend to gravitate towards Asians. In my experience they tend to be quieter. Are there quiet black women? I'm sure that there are, but in my experience they are definitely in the minority. Asian women tend to do well in school and be very well educated. There are always exceptions to the rule, but I don't get same feeling from black women.

I live in a diverse part of California. It's easy to see who's doing well in school and who is not. There are other reasons I don't date black women, but all of these are my preferences.

I also am attracted to eastern indian women for the similar reasons I'm attracted to asians. Some people consider India part of Asia and some people don't. I, simply, made a distinction here to be explicit.

There was diverse dating site that stated that black women and Asian men seemed to have the hardest time dating people outside their ethnicity. Why? I have no idea. They didn't list specific reasons, they were just using statistics.

ep7cmatt77 · Answer

I think the stereotyping thing is true. I know a lot of people that make a judgement on what a person is like just by the way they look. I think a lot of people make that judgement about black girls because in a lot of movies you always see that stereotype thrown around, just as with a lot of other races.

johari · Answer

It can't be a serious relationship.

Black_Swan_12 · Answer

Beauty has no race.

xXxAx3LxXx · Answer

I love all kinds of races! Black woman are awesome! They're fine and gorgeous! ;P By the way they've got sum of the yummiest booty's around. ;P

bigmike16 · Answer

I like black girls. But, some of them start sh*t with me...

Waluigi · Answer

Black Latinas don't have a problem getting hit on by any race, my opinion. Think the hair plays an important role here lol. You are too concerned with WHICH race hits on you more than if you get hit on. Sounds like a racist playing a race card. Guys can smell that and immediately categorize it as having the mentality, most hoodrat's you described, have. No way around it hun, it's not your skin tone its you and a lot of women crying about the same racial oppression they suffer in the dating world, are probably on the same boat as you.

floridalover · Answer

This white guy has dated a number of Black women and it was okay except for the last two. The second-to-last wanted money, and the last had vicious temper. Blew my ears out. But that was only two crazies. The others were perfectly fine.