What is the deal with home wreckers?

[Anonymous]

So, what's the deal with home wreckers? I'll never understand or have any respect for people who try to break up other people's relationships? Maybe I'm just naive, but I think that you should let people and a relationship be. If I'm chatting up a girl and she says she has a boyfriend, I'll stop there. 1. out of respect for the guy,girl, and relationship. 2. I don't want to date someone with a very recent sexual history. (gotta be safe) However, I know a couple of people that have wedged themselves in between relationships or wait for any fight so that they can be a rebound for the girl. Do you really need to steal someone else's girl/guy? Do you really want to wait around for someone else's relationship to end? However long that takes? I had a friend who tried to do this to me. He was always talking about how hot this or that girl was, but then he starts flirting with the girl I was dating. Then I soon as I spoke up, the fighting started between my girlfriend away. Then he just kept inching his way in and flinging bad suggestions about how to deal with our relationship. It ended with both of us being left out in the cold. I'm glad that he at least failed to steal my girlfriend away, but it just sucks that someone I thought was a friend wouldn't let my relationship grow. What are your thoughts on homewrecking people? And how do you deal with them? Any homewreckers willing to shed some light on their perspective?

[coinumae]

My ex of 4.5yrs went away to work on a cruise ship for 6 months and I was unhappy wih the seperation. Things were rough. I became depressed because I missed him.

Then he started ignoring my emails and calls were far and in between when he was in port. I was given all kinds of excuses, and I believed him because I loved him. But Facebook showed he was doing otherwise. So out of desperation, not out of suspicion, I hacked his email and Facebook...I discovered he had been cyber cheating with a British slut long before the cruise job. Yes, she knew about me.

Through emails he admitted the cruise life allowed him to cut loose. He was making bets with coworkers that he could sleep with one of the performers. But here's my relevant heartbreaking moment:

He had written to a coworker who had asked what's up with this Croatian chick. His response was that my girlfriend was in denial, Natasa (croatian) knew about her and was okay with it.

That was a month before he came home.

Homewrecking happens when the other partner in the relationship is weak but it doesn't change the fact that the homewrecker has influence and knows what they're doing.

My ex is the one I blame but I still hate that Crustacean Bitch.

[Anonymous]

My sister stole some guy from his wife of 1 year. she married him for about 3 years then she cheated on him with some other guy and that other guy knew she had a relationship but he went in for it anyways. That's all I know about homewreckers and I find it wrong too. I wish people who were married would stop flirting or making it obvious that they are flirting when they are taken. I'm officially married for about 2 years now and I don't make it obvious that I'm flirting, I make it obvious that I'm taken and I don't flirt with anyone.

My sister doesn't find it wrong at all to steal from other people, because she thinks it's just life and that's just how it goes and that everyone deserves happiness and that she should have the right to do whatever she wants to do. She doesn't think it's a mistake or that it's wrong to do anything, lie, cheat, steal... etc. She has no morals. All she cares about is her happiness. blah

[karla1527]

If she doesn't take care of her own happiness, who else will?

[Asker]

Well, I think what she's saying is that her sister isn't taking care of her own happiness. She's expecting other people to do it for her.

[CestLolaVie]

Home wreckers who chat up guys with wives, or women with husbands is just wrong to me. I think its disrespectful, mean and unnecessary.

But chatting up guys with girlfriends isn't a problem at all. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, especially if they're not serious and there are no family issues involved. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I've had many guys chat me up, being playful and flirty while they knew I had a boyfriend and I didn't blame them for it at all. I never respond to them in a positive manner nor do I encourage them to continue but its alright that they tried.

It really depends on the person being approached. If they leave you for someone else then they weren't worth your time and the relationship anyway.

[rudy37lee]

I can't agree with your statement here. Just because a relationship isn't sanctified by marriage, does not make it a true commitment. It's OK to date around if you are doing just that, dating. If I make a commitment to be someone's girlfriend, to me that has become a monogamous relationship. I would expect him to communicate with other women in a respectful manner, not in a flirtatious one. Just as he can expect me to behave accordingly. Taken is taken, you don't need a ring for that.

[CestLolaVie]

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

[Anonymous]

for the most part I agree with you but sometimes(under certain circumstances I think its understandable) if they are in a perfect relationship then I full out agree with what you say but the trouble is is that sometimes guys tend to take the women they love for granted and in a relationship you just can't do that, and of course when he makes it so she goes to bed crying every night then ya someone needs to get her out of that bad situation then its understandable. because when you have a selfless person like my bestest friend in a situation like that I will do what ever it takes to make her happy even if it means having her hate me for it(wich has happened before) but she later thanked me for it.

[Anonymous]

Thing is, there's more than one side to "home" wrecking, but we don't tend to focus on that.

A home is also wrecked when one of the spouses is treating the other like crap. e.g. Physical abuse, mental abuse, sexual abuse, with-holding sex, etc...

A marriage which is going well doesn't have anything to fear from a potential home wrecker. And a mature couple knows how to fight and disagree without one of them immediately rushing out to cheat.

Homewreckers are only successful when a variety of other factors come in to play.

[rudy37lee]

I agree with you here. Ultimately, it is up to those in the relationship to make it a successful one. If you are dealing with any of the issues you listed above, there are other ways to deal with it than cheat. If you really feel the need to sleep with someone else and can't resist the urge, you shouldn't be in a relationship. That doesn't excuse people hitting on people in relationships.

[l-hedoniste]

I don't necessarily go for girls with girlfriends, but I readily admit: I don't ask and I don't care.

My opinion, her relationship is her business, to handle any way she pleases. If she's okay with getting with me while she has a boyfriend, I'm not going to stop her, or even make a fuss. I don't see the point.

[Betwyn]

You can't wreck a home, that doesn't want to be wrecked...

Wouldn't you rather know sooner then later?

[Asker]

I think you should let people work through their own problems. Whether that means they stay together or break up, you should let them split themselves up. Otherwise, someone's going to resent you for breaking up their relationship to soon when you hit a rough patch.

[Betwyn]

If they are committed to each other, and just hitting a "rough patch" they wouldn't cheat.. If you believe otherwise... I have some vacation property in Jersey to sell you...

[Asker]

Yeah, that's true. I'm just saying that people should let the relationships run their own course instead of trying to wedge their way in between people.

[Betwyn]

Well, not all homewreckers know until its too late... and honestly, if a guy is looking for a one nighter, he's not going to care if the girl has a bf.. We all know this is true.

[Asker]

Some guys would, but yeah.

[kheserthorpe]

Having a boyfriend isn't exactly being married with kids.

[Asker]

No of course not. But I'd rather not argue about which one is more committed. Plus, what if the relationship was heading more towards marriage? If it's not going to work out, just let the relationship die on its own time. That would be better fir everyone involved.

[kheserthorpe]

I think if you genuinely want to date someone who isn't married, you can let them know. Its their decision then whether to leave their partner for you.

[Misty_04]

Temptation is often hard to resist and it depends on a number of factors. I think it would be silly to put the blame on one person and if you have a high level of trust with your partner it should never bother you. Often it involves more than one person, innocent flirting then turns into something more.

[Asker]

I realize that, but don't people know where to draw the line?

[TheRealAttila]

He's a sh*tty friend no doubt, but I'm glad homewreckers exist, they break up bad relationships before they get dragged out longer than necessary. Think of them as a gift telling you the girl you're with isn't the right person.

[kereru]

Takes two to tango.

last Friday got felt up under a bar table by a guy who was very clearly married. I was horrified.

[shacodraco]

i don't know man, I get off of doing that to people. not really I hate people that do that too. I think they're just really desperate and can't meet girls on their own.

[05Jueey]

It's not thw "other" girl I have a problem with. It's the one in the relationship that cheats. These "homewrekers" are great tests in relationships

[Asker]

I understand that they're both to blame, but I just can't get the appeal.

[TigerBaby]

Well I think if we understood the whys and hows and other stuff then many lives would be easier ones

[dudeman]

Its odd to me too but I would think its more of the person in the relationships responsibility

[MarieMason]

I been dealing with a home wrecker for almost a year. Boy it was hard especially with infant which soon be one. I am glad it is over right now But she have no respect for me. So judgmental of our relationship. I told him to break it off if he really love me and my son. i told him i never cheated once while in relationship. and me finding out about it was hard and my heart broken to pieces. But i learn to forgive but i can't actually trust. That is hard to build. All i say just watch out and watch for signs and all and be very confrontal with your spouse or bf/gf. There are homewreckers out there dont think for other peoples feelings only for themselves. And have no patient for other people relationships.

[Anonymous]

Most people are just simply really, disgustingly selfish. They will do whatever has to be done to get what they want and they don't care how it effects others. If they cared, then they wouldn't do those things to begin with.

My thoughts? Homewrecking people deserve to either be alone or end up with someone who lacks loyalty to them and allows a homewrecker to break up their relationship. They need a taste of their own medicine until they grow and learn from their tacky, selfish ways.

Lucky for me, I've never been put in a position where I had to deal with a homwrecker. I'm not sure how I would deal with it. I'd be relying on the loyalty and respect my partner has for me. Because regardless of the grimy actions of the homerecker, it's between me and my man and what we have.

[Anonymous]

Those are the people who have no moral. I know because that is why my parents separated. It takes a strong person to resist all these whore/male whore temptation. No offense.