Sexual Health
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If you lost your virginity at an older age, do you have a lower drive then average?

I lost mine when I was 20, which is old considering most people have done it by 16. I never felt the need to have sex, and only really did it because of pressure to feel normal. Which was a mistake because I hated it and it ended up being a one night stand. I'm almost 22 now and I still haven't had sex again. I don't even try to meet guys because I don't want sex. do I just have a low sex drive? and for the older virgins, are you only a virgin because you lack desire to try hard enough to find a mate?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Two things at work here:

    1) you could have a medical issue (hormone imbalance, etc.) or a mental/emotional issue (past trauma?) that is causing you to be shut down sexually. Are you by any chance on medication for depression? SSRIs are a major cause for low libidos.

    2) Many women don't feel very sexual when they are single, but once they are in a relationship and develop a deep emotional connection, their sex drives kick into overdrive.

    And last, if you've only had sex once, of course it was lousy. For most women, losing their virginity is painful or at least uncomfortable, and since their partner is often inexperienced as well, you can't expect wonders. But as a ton of girls will tell you, it gets a LOT better with practice.

    • There is nothing wrong with my health. I have had blood tests before and everything was perfect. I'm not on any medication, and never have been. Not even the pill. I've never had a boyfriend but I don't really think my sex drive would change if I had one. I kinda dread having sex again so I'm not even looking for a boyfriend, because I know they would expect sex eventually.

  • The only sex you had was a bad one nighter? Why would you ever want to have sex again? You're fine. Your drive is normal. Your experience is a bummer is all. Eventually, you'll bump into a guy, like him on an interpersonal level, feel comfortable with him and want to rock his world. Until then, don't overthink it.

    Also, there's no such thing as a "normal" sex drive. Some people are like dogs in heat all the time, some people would rather read a magazine. Both are normal. We're all different.

    Finally, I'm currently seeing a woman who didn't lose her virginity until she was 24, and her sex drive is off the charts high, so no, the two things don't relate at all.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Well if you have bad sex why would you want more bad sex? I mean everyone's experiance is difference if you stopped masterbating then I would think that you have alow sex drive. But just because you don't wnt to have sex with someone just to have sex doesn;t men you have a low sex drive I think you don't want to risk having another bad experiance and I don't blame you. I'm 19 and I'm a virgin, but I have a really really high libido so it depends on your experiances. I don't think age ha anything to do with it.

    • I don't masturabte very much. Maybe once a fortnight.

  • No, I also lost my virginity at the age of 20, but after the first time I had sex, I wanted it more and more, I guess it really depends on how your first time experience was because for me it was amazing, the guy I lost my virginity to was very experienced. I personally think you have a low sex drive, but wanting to meet guys doesn't mean it's always based on sex...

  • girl I'm 20 and I'm still a virgin and I have an extremely high sex drive. it could be your hormones. get some blood workup done and see what's going on. low sex drive can also be caused from birth control pills. I have the iud and my sex drive has been so low for the past month :(

    • I'm healthy. I've had blood tests done and doctors never told me I have low hormones. I think it's just how I am.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 1

  • No way. I lost my virginity @ age 27 and my sex drive is on turbo...

    • Then why did it take you so long if you really wanted it? Usually if people want something they try hard to get it.

    • That's just it - I never put forth the effort; I always expected the girls to come to me... and when they didn't flock to me as frequently as I'd hoped, I got tired of waiting, and I got off my ass and went to them Although, even as a hormonally raging teenager - sex just wasn't that much of a priority to me

  • You have a low sex drive. I guess some virgins do lack a sex drive but I think it is a correlation and not something symptomatic.

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