Girls, would you date a 34 year old virgin?

Seriously, I'm a 34 year old virgin. I never intended for this to happen, I just never had the opportunity to experience a romantic or sexual relationship. I would like to have a family someday, but obviously things are not looking so bright. I really am starting to worry that I will never find someone, and I will be left to live my days out as a virgin. So would you date a 34yo virgin? In addition, any thoughts or suggestions to help me out of this situation would be great. (Guys who respond: Please be constructive and respectful or don't say anything at all. Also, finding a prostitute is not an acceptable option.) Thanks in advance to those who can offer any real help.
Updates:
+1 y
It also seems that IF a girl does accept me, it's only as a friend. I don't want to be put into the so called "Friend Zone." I want to be seen as datable, at least then I have a shot at finding someone.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • I personally think its a tragedy that we live in a sex obsessed society that thinks that men who aren't sleeping around have "a problem". With so many men degrading women and making us feel like sex objects, its refreshing to hear there's a man out there who is sexually pure. I've dated so many non-virgin jerks who have made me feel like sh*t for not giving it up quickly. Men who are no different than dogs. So be proud you're not like them. Men will LOVE to make fun of you for being a virgin and some girls will think "you're strange". Stay the hell away from these people!

    Now, what you need to do is start dating women that you see as marriage material. Don't date party girls, don't date women who carry themselves the wrong way (sluts, aggressors, mean girls, materialistic). I highly recommend going to church and volunteer groups and try to meet good girls with who have good character. In your case, you're actually trying to get to know someone, otherwise you would have felt comfortable going to a prostitute (which you didn't - BRAVO!).

    Also, make sure you're presentable as well. Make sure you're wearing nice clothes. Make sure you're in good shape and good health...having a nice body will only work in your favor. Take care of your hair and wear a nice smelling cologne. Make sure to be polite when talking to girls and don't be afraid to get rejected when asking girls out. Try online dating too. You don't have to tell these girls you're a virgin on a first date. I promise, there are women out there who will love that you're a virgin and won't look down on it. Remember, we are the fairer sex. And women are dying to be with a man who doesn't make it all about sex sex sex. Just be patient and go out there and date. Good luck :D

    • Well, I have an average body (never could get a 6-pack even back in HS. Toned yes, 6-pack, no.), Health is good, but my hair has basically left my head. Not thrilled about the idea of wearing cologne, but will try I don't smell bad w/o it. I keep myself clean. I try to be polite to everyone. Tried online dating with several sites...nothing, not even a nibble. I hope you're right, I just don't know how easy they will be to find amongst the sea of other women.

    • Well you don't need a sea of women...you just need one special one :)

    • I was referring to how rare that type of girl seems to be amidst the rest of the female population anymore. I am looking for that one special one, but I know it won't likely be the first one I meet (unless the heavens align right then :P ). It's sort of like trying to find a needle in the proverbial haystack.

  • I would really like to know what it is that you are "not" finding that you are currently seeking out. I really do not think that alone being a 34 year old virgin would be the problem. Although, at times women may perceive you as naive in other areas as well. Are you shy as well? Are you inexperienced with women in general? Are you over sensitive in conversations from lack of attempt to have relationships in the past? If you are currently having trouble in the relationship area at this point, I have trouble believing that the only reason is your virginity. That in itself would not be a turn-off. I think you need to look at other areas. ie...your approach, your approachability, your nervousness, your lack of confidence...

    • I'm not saying it's the only reason... Yes, I'm a bit shy, and not the most social person because of it, which doesn't help the situation of my solo status.

  • Definitely.

    I'd actually prefer being with someone who was a virgin. I think it would make things really special. I would take it as a big sign of maturity and most likely view you as someone that has a lot of self-worth. Any girl would be lucky to have you && even though you may think that girls are going to view being a virgin at your age a negative thing, there will be plenty of women out there that appreciate it!

    • Kind words, but I have a hard time believing that many will view it as a positive thing.

    • I agree with Shortshortss. There are some women who are immature and will think there's something wrong with you (and these are the women to avoid!). <--These are the women who have one night stands, get STDs and wonder why they don't have a man. What you need a good woman who will see what you have as something special. It's a blessing to find a men who is consumed with how many women he's "BANGED". Continue living your life and dating and will find a great woman who will value you. GL :)

    • I hope you are right, 'cause from where I'm sitting, opportunities of finding a girl like that is starting to look a little bleak. Still trying to be optimistic though.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Alright bro I'm gunna be completly honest.

    If you are 34 and still a virgin, there is something wrong.

    Look at yourself in the mirror, are you happy with what you see. You should start hitting the gym and get a nice body, and then you'll feel more confident.

    Also make sure you have a styled hair cut, nice clothes that firt your body type and you need to smell good.

    Now its only the matter of you finding a girl who you can date or have sex with. Now if you just want this virginity thing out of the way, I suggest you go to the bar, get a few drinks in. Then scope out the place. Once you see a girl who you like, buy her a drink. Then if she comes to thank you for it, ask fro her number, but remember to be genuine, don't act like something you're not. Also, do not tell her that your a virgin, sheel be just a girl you can get some practice on.

    I suggest you get sex for a while, before you decide to date a girl, becuase then she probably won't feel satisfied and cheat anyway.

    Main thing bro:

    -Think that you are the sh*t, and you'll look confident, but don't be cocky.

    -Look fresh, clean and with style.

    -Be happy, smile alot.

    -And don't be a afraid to get rejected.

    • My looks and hygiene are fine. There are other issues at play. I'm not exactly the most social type of person, for instance, although I'm trying to change that. Meeting and striking up conversations with people I don't know is an area that is not exactly easy for me. How do you act like you're the $hit without being cocky. I am aware there will be rejection in this process. Now that I've cleared some things up, do you have any further suggestions? Thanks.

    • You act like you're the sh*t by showing and feeling like there is no one who is better then you. You're the best of the best. But dnt go bragging about it and actually saying it becuase they will think your a douchbag. Also you are considered a "friend" becuase you're treating the girl like a friend. You need to show her that you are attracted from the first second you tlk to her. Also, you need to go places where girls are wanting to meet new guys. Like, parties (social gatherings), bars, clubs.

    • 34 and a virgin does NOT = something wrong I lost my virginity @ age 27, and while it was a little late in life, there certainly was nothing wrong with me - I just never wanted to approach girls and when I realized how spineless women are in approaching men, I just went out and got what I wanted by initiating things myself... That's all it really comes down to - women are such chicken sh*ts when it comes to approaching

    • Show All
  • Its no big deal, there is nothing wrong with you. Just try and be nice to people, you know, try initiate conversation with ladies any chance you get. I am sure some lady with make a move on you soon

    Being promiscuous or sleeping around is nothing to gloat about

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 4
  • don't be anxious about being a virgin there is nothing wrong with that, I would not care.

    • Kind words.

  • Try typing "Twelve Tribes" without the space between the words, and follow it with a dot and then an "org".

    This is the best bet I know of to find what you're looking for and more.

  • be glad you are not 40 yet, but still, I'd keep this private in public if I were you

    • Not going to make it public.

  • Fuck. No.

  • Yes.

  • There is somebody out there for everyone, so there's no way you will live the rest of your life a virgin.

    You just haven't met the right person yet and that's so special that you can say you haven't just slept with anyone for the sake of it or slept about Like most men out there.

    Don't let it get you down and just enjoy being single and meeting new people.

    Be proud that you are so different to most of the disrespectful men out there!

    I bet most women would love to get their hands on a virgin- I know I would!

    I don't know how I can be of much help but I had to just reply :)

    • More kind words. I would sure like to know where I could those women, 'cause I don't seem to know where to look. :P One of the reasons I don't like being a virgin is I the experience of giving and receiving pleasure. I know I'm missing out on one of life's greatest experiences. I'm tired of being left out. I want someone to love, and be loved by.

    • Ppphhh, easier said than done answerer "There is somebody out there for everyone" "There's no way you will live the rest of your life a virgin" YOU CAN'T GUARANTEE THAT

    • When I said there's No way youl live the rest of your life a virgin I meant it in a positive way - not a demeaning way. Maybe you need to start thinking more positively! There is a book called 'The Secret' it helps with positive attitude and really will open your eyes to life if you give it a read. It's by Rhonda Byrne. Have a little look. Winston Churchill even said 'you create your own universe as you go along'. You need to believe in yourself x

  • hey i want you to know it's totally possible for you. I'm in a similar situation being 30 with limited experience, dated but nothing serious and I'm also a virgin. Still I don't know if my being in a similar situation changes how you take my opinion , but the way I see it, everyone goes at their own pace and trying to compare myself to someone else won't work because I've got faith in My journey that there's a reason for everything. I've learned recently that it really all comes down to how I view myself. Harder to have confidence when you've never had what your really want. I'm sure there are days it feels impossible. But it's not. I truly believe there's someone for everyone and you'll find her soon. I hope this helps.

  • Another reminder of how I resented that men have to lead the interaction but sadly that will never change