Sexual Health
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Men and women. What's your biggest argument against dating a woman who has slept around alot?

Personally I don't care if a woman has slept with the whole country, men and women both. Or the whole world for that matter. My problem is though if she's sleeping around and I'm dating her I'm worried about diseases and getting something from someone she's slept with. Im also concerned with getting something whenever I sleep with anyone myself so I try and limit the sexual partners I have, and I do so by being picky with the women I date. So I have no double standard when it comes to women and sex. In other words if stds didn't exist or there were a cure for all of them id have no problem sleeping with practically any woman I found attractive. And I wouldn't have a problem with the women I'm dating doing the same. I don't see any problems with it other than that. Do you?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Here is how I feel about this topic...

    There are a lot of men out there who subconsciously view women as sex objects. They would have no desire in having that girl around if she was not spreading her legs and getting on her knees to suck their cock. A lot of relationships revolve around the desire for unlimited sexual activity. I know a lot of guys who get into relationships with girls for the main purpose of having a girl who will sleep with them whenever and whatever. That's not the only reason they're with her, but if you took away sexual activity from the relationship, they would break up with her. I've seen situations where a guy dates a girl just so that he can get in her pants and she feeds into it. He has no true desire to give her the title and introduce her to people who are important to him; he's just "getting the milk for free" (why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free) because she's handing it out to him! I think that until a lot of men reach a certain maturity point which can take until their 30's, a lot of they view women as sex objects and I'm not okay with that.

    I think that when women sleep around a lot, they keep this cycle strong and growing. A man is going to treat you how you teach him to treat you. If you teach him to treat you like a sex object or a sexual conquest, then he will. Having self control and not just sleeping with anyone is beneficial because it keeps you from getting STD's and it keeps you from getting used.

    • "That's not the only reason they're with her, but if you took away sexual activity from the relationship, they would break up with her." Of course they would. The thing is, most men if the roles were reversed would feel fine with being viewed as sex objects. Whats wrong with it? Every relationship is conditional. If a man beats you, are you going to stay in the relationship? If the man stops being the man who you fell in love with, shouldn't you leave?

    • the examples you used are extremes and are totally different from what I'm talking about. I don't think it's right to be veiwed as a sex object. I wouldn't be okay with it. I am a human being with more to offer than sexual pleasure and I wouldn't appreciate that at all

    • This is the BA ever about this topic.

    • Show All

  • I think it comes down more to being sexually responsible, rather than the number of people someone has slept with. If you're sexually active, you should use protection and get tested for STIs regularly.

    The thing is, you can sleep with one person and get an STI. It's also possible to sleep with 100 people and avoid getting an STI.

    Assuming, "Oh, they've only slept with one or two people before me, so they probably don't have an STI" is allowing yourself into a false sense of security.

    I don't care how many partners someone has had, we should use protection and get tested for STIs regardless.

    Would you rather have sex with someone who has had one sexual partner in their lifetime, but has never been tested for STIs, or someone who has had 20 sexual partners in their lifetime, but has been tested for STIs and all their tests have come back negative? Which is more risky?

    Of course, if you're having sex with more than one person in the same time frame (i.e. they had sex with someone else last week and then have sex with you this week), then it's going to be riskier, since it's impractical to get tested every time you have sex (and some results take some time before showing up). It's up to each person to decide how much risk they are okay with, so if you're only comfortable with having sex with someone you're in a long-term, monogamous relationship with, that's totally cool.

    • It only takes one time with one partner to contract something. Testing for an incurable std is pointless if its incurable. The only thing it does is it lets you know you're f***ed. And if that person is f***ed, are they going to tell every sex partner that they're f***ed? I doubt it. The bottom line is the more partners the higher risk of contracting. Just because someone gets tested regularly does not prevent stds.

    • "It only takes one time with one partner to contract something. Testing for an incurable std is pointless if its incurable. The only thing it does is it lets you know you're f***ed. And if that person is f***ed, are they going to tell every sex partner that they're f***ed? I doubt it." To be honest, I'm not really sure what you're saying here.

  • Nope, no problems. Getting tested between partners and always using protection cuts down the risk considerably. If a guy is 100% clean [results as proof], doesn't have a history of cheating, and can/wants to commit to ME, then I don't really care how many women he's slept with. I'd rather not think about it, but I won't judge him harshly because of it.

    • Getting tested does not reduce risk, using protection does. Unless when you get tested you find out you have something and cure it. But that's not what I'm talking about I'm talking about the incurable ones. Like I said, if you can cure all stds, then I see no issue.

    • No, I agree with you. But I wouldn't be sleeping with someone without condoms unless they SHOW me negative test results, for curable and incurable stds. I learned that the hard way when I took my ex's word for it that he was clean, and then got chlamydia from him sometime during the course of our relationship. Either he lied about being tested before me, or he was unfaithful. I got it taken care of, but it was definitely a reality check. If there was a positive result, I wouldn't sleep with him

    • Until it was taken care of, with further testing to make sure it was gone. If it were a positive result for something incurable, I don't think I could stay with them because I don't want to risk catching it myself. Regardless, if we want to discontinue condoms, I need to see the results, and I would get tested with him if that's what it would take. I've tested recently and have my results, but I'd do it again if necessary.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I want a girl to have about the same experience as me so that most of our new experiences are new for both of us. I don't want her to say "Oh I've done that before" every time we do something that's new to me, and I don't want to be on the other side of that either. I want a girl I can share experiences with. I don't think I would feel a real connection with someone if we feel so different about sex because there's a huge difference in our experience levels.

    • that would be nice and I agree to a point but don't you think that's unrealistic expectations?

  • tarnished/unrealistic sexual standards, more likelihood to cheat, questionable morals, and I just don't like the idea of another guys penis already being in my girl. sleeping around is trashy. true sex appeal comes not just from a woman being attractive, but also in being modest.

    • Unrealistic sexual standards? I don't understand what you mean by that. more likelihood to cheat? I don't see why. I think someone who is going to cheat is going to do it regardless of how many sexual partners they've had. Doing a "negative action" is more a result of who the person is, not what the person has done. quesionable morals? the problem with that is, it may be a sin, but WHY is it a sin? Because the bible says so? I need more information than that.

    • "I just don't like the idea of another guys penis already being in my girl. " No one does. But that's something you're going to have to get over. If a woman is hot, she's probably not a virgin. Modesty is fine, and I like a woman to only want to sleep with me, that's my preference but I don't have a problem with women sleeping around if there werent stds.

    • i never said I wouldn't date a woman if she wasn't a virgin, just that this is why I would prefer a virgin.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • as long as the person is safe and get's checked regularly I don't care. I get checked every four months even if I've been with the same person. I don't even bother asking how many partners my boyfriend has had because I really have no desire to know, everyone has a past and it's not going to change.

    • Your assuming that the person is telling you the truth about being safe. I have issues with thinking that someone with an std is going to just flat out tell me, or anyone.

    • and that is why I get tested

  • no arguement rly, just a preference

  • Its nasty ..

  • im fine with it, as long as she doesn't have STIs, these days some of them can make your d1ck fall off. I don't think any guy wants that.

    • i agree. But the thing is, the only problem is if she sleeps around a lot it increases the chances of getting one. And that's my issue.

  • guys are worried that she has had bigger, and the more partners the bigger the chance she had bigger than you. hahahaha. This will piss off so many guys.

    • Truth = +1

    • Thats an insecure man, who you don't want anyways because he's insecure. Regardless of his size.

  • The STD argument, and I'd be more likely to trust someone who hasn't slept with many people. If they don't feel the need to sleep with many people when not in a relationship, they probably are less likely to cheat.

    • Thats the thing. Do you think a men (who evolutionarily are hardwired to sleep with more htan one woman) would cheat less because he's not soiled his wild oats would cheat less? Or one that has soiled them (slept with a lot of women) and therefore doesn't feel the need anymore?

    • If he's never felt the need in the first place, I suppose there's less of a chance that it will pop up later on. Men are sexually most active around their twenties, so when they get older, that drops as well. I'm not likely to trust someone who has slept with a lot of women, I don't think they ever fully lose that. It's a disgusting thought anyway.

  • If we eradicate all STIs, and all other diseases, I wouldn't mind. But the fact is, people who sleep around usual have unprotected oral and sometimes unprotected sex.

    Now we all know, even kissing these people would put you at risk. So do I have a problem knowing she gives unprotected oral.. hell yes..

    • "But the fact is, people who sleep around usual have unprotected oral and sometimes unprotected sex." I don't think that's true, even for the majority. Lets hope its not.

    • Really, so girl put on a condom before sucking off a guy for the first time.. sure, a number of STIs can live in a girls throat and be passed on to you.

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