Boyfriend gets turned off easily?

My boyfriend and I just started having sex last week and he's been having some issues staying turned on. He is mentally ready to g, we'll start out great, but then he loses his hard on very easily. If I my hair is too prickly down there, if we change positions, if I change the pace, etc. This upsets him a lot because he cannot control it and he feels less of a man because he has not pleased me. He said it is not my fault because he finds me really attractive. Is this normal? Are there any men out there that have had this problem? Could it be that he's over thinking things? How can he stop and fix this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • There could be a number of explanations for what you have described, however despite the fact that I'm not an expert, it sounds to me like he really just needs to relax. I say this because it sounds to me like he is getting really wound up and anxiety will do nothing to help a guy maintain an erection, I have personally experienced this in that I would loose it if I became to anxious or was worried about how well I would perform. It seems to me like he really wants to please you (which is a good thing), but the associated anxiety is getting in the way. He will need to work on relaxing a bit more and worrying less. If this sort of problem persists he may need to seek out professional help, which is okay too, in the sense that he shouldn't then worry more about that as well. I hope this helps you some.


What Guys Said 3

  • Imo, he can just be REALLY nervous.

    Help him calm down, and do your best to be a good boyfriend and take the pressure off of him.

    Has he had sex before?

  • are you for sure he is getting turned off? or is he cumming and not telling you and you not feeling it? he might just come then not want to keep going because he is lazy lol. if that is not the case have him try a **** ring they can help with the whole staying hard once your hard. or try having him pull out and you sucking it that always gets a guy back into it. and if your to prickly then shave before hand. maybe he is just really not in the mood to begin with but does not want to let you down. try new things or try anal he might be able to stay up for that.


What Girls Said 2

  • That seems strange, has he had this problem before? In past relationships, or while masturbating?

    It could be a legitimate problem. But that happens to my boyfriend sometimes if he gets overexcited or starts overthinking things. It helps him when I take control and let him just lay back and relax.

  • The guy I'm seeing now is exactly like that. I think he's learned to deal with it though. I would actually say he's probably the best sex I've ever had. Since he loses it easily, he pleases me different ways. He's just amazing. lol