Sexual Health
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Why do guys like strippers?

Disclaimer: I've never been to a strip club for women. It doesn't appeal to me, plus women I've talked to have told me it's pretty lame. I also don't like the way male strippers look, and I've been told that their shows can be gross. So I don't get the fascination. Now, I admit I'm a bit insecure (don't bash me for that), being small chested and not very toned. I'm sure my boyfriend would like to go to a strip club now and then, since some of his friends go occasionally. I was reading some questions about strippers, and guys said something like "Strippers can turn us on in ways our girlfriends can't", and things like "They shove your face in their boobs" or "You can se girls who have different bodies than your girlfriend", etc. Exactly how much touching goes on? And also, How is it that they turn you on in ways a girlfriend can't? Does wanting to see other girls' bodies means they're better than your girlfriend's? Thanks.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Strippers are nothing more than 3-D porn for the slobbering audience of man-pigs who buy overpriced, watered-down booze, and toss dollars at twisting, slithering flesh on the dance floor. Strippers offer the illusion of easy access to fulfilled fantasies without all that pesky effort such as dating, romance or foreplay. Younger guys dig the experience, and I'll even go once in a dog's age just to remind myself of what a young vixen looks like. But, well, ya see one fake boob and you've seen 'em all. I admit it, I do objectify women at times but all men do. And when I can't have the real thing I find comfort in my digital collection of quality internet porn. I don't have to throw dollars at my monitor, and no waitress complains when I fail to spend $15 bucks on a couple shots o' booze water that wouldn't get your gramma buzzed, nor does anyone raise a fuss about the fact that I'm not wearing any pants.

    Still, even if you could ban strippers, porn movies, porn mags, peep shows, etc., you'd still find guys writing dirty pictures on the bathroom stalls, unable to stop fantasizing about sex, or plotting for that next hook up.

    Rules for contact vary from state to state. California is fairly strict, and in San Diego County I've seen the ladies wearing pantyhose which detract from the pure art form we acknowledge as exotic dancing. On the other hand, if your man has been gettin' his party on in Las Vegas, or Tijuana, you better hose with down with an industrial disinfectant and pump him full of penicillin before he tries to touch you with his tallywacker. Either location provides easy access to skilled prostitutes at competitive rates. Well, that's what somebody told me once.

    Where did you say you guys live?

    If you're uncomfortable with this aspect of your man's behavior you still have options. You could go along for the ride and see what all the fuss is about. This could be a real turn on or an invasion in his eyes. If you're the adventuresome type, maybe you could learn a few dance moves and give them a try at home. You don't have to fill up on silicone and Botox to drive your man crazy. Erotic anticipation is a mental process because your biggest sex organ is your brain. Every man has his own list of preferences and perversions. You'll find them all soon enough. Finally, don't fret over your body shape. Some guys can't get enough of gigantic breasts while others really go for girlish physiques. I'm going to guess your man belongs in this latter category.

    You could always mention that this issue makes you uncomfortable and ask that your man stay away from the titty bars. If he respects your feelings, your guy will do the right thing or at least go to great pains to conceal his vice from you.

  • I'm gonna be as concise as possible here. I'm not good at that though. I've never been to a strip club, but I know guys who have, and I have had the urge to before, just never actually have done so.

    There's no touching. You get kicked out for touching the girls (at least at any decent, i.e. licensed place). As for them touching you that's entirely up to their own discretion, but usually doesn't happen much either.

    What's the big deal? Well guys are very visual, and very visceral. (in other words we respond to things that are immediate, intense thrills, thus why guys like action movies, there's no subtlety about it, just immediate, superficial emotional response). As that applies to strippers, there's something about being able to see a naked woman for a bit of money is appealing.

    As for turning you on in ways a girlfriend can't, it sounds like you're worrying about that too much or that you're threatened by it when you really need not be. What that means really is just that it's a cheap thrill. It's "dirty". Your girlfriend can be as dirty and slutty as she wants, but it's still essentially imitated dirtiness, cause essentially you're still in a relationship with this person, and no one REALLY wants to think of their girlfriend as a cheap slut or anything like that. It's not that you're not good enough in bed, or you're not attractive enough (some strippers really aren't that great looking anyways), or that strippers can do things you can't. It's mostly just a situational thing. It's not the stripper herself as a person, it's the fact that she is a stripper, that it's a strip club, that you paid to see her naked... it's a cheap, dirty little thrill.

    So basically, no, wanting to see a stripper doesn't mean that they're better than your girlfriend... or that they have a betterbody than your girlfriend... at all. Seriously, even some guys who have the hottest girlfriends in the world will still like to see strippers. It's all just about the dirty thrill of it all. The way I like to put it is that strippers and porn are to guys as smut nd romance novels are to women. Women get annoyed if a guy was threatened by a character in one such novel because it's a fictitous character and we shouldn't be threatened by them. Well that's how guys think of porn stars and strippers, they're not really "real" people to us, so much as they are just superficial characters whose appeal is in the simple, dirty thrill.

    I hope this is helpful.

    • What this guy said is true. "...guys think of porn stars and strippers, they're not "real" people to us..." That is true, men don't view these women as people-but a sexual OBJECT. and that is sad, because they ARE real peope.

    • I never said they're NOT real people. But for the few moments that guys are in contact with them, they're not. Sure if we sat down and talked to them we'd see them differently, but that generally doesn't happen. As long as the guy isn't projeting that view onto all women, and isn't treating the stripper/porn star like shit then I don't see a problem with it.

    • Also I would argue that if those women don't want to be seen as sexual objects... they chose the wrong damn profession. So don't go complaining that they got a shitty hand dealt to them, there's always a choice, and the guys that they are providing a service for are generally not involved in their personal lives anyways, so... it doesn't really make a difference what a random jerk thinks of her. If he's a mysoginistic bastard, then a stripper/pornstar is no different than any other woman to him

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Well I have been to strip clubs. I have worked in a strip club for a long time(as a waitress). So you can ask me pretty much anything about it, as I have lots of experience in this topic. At the place I worked at-they did not shove their boobs in their faces-it was not allowed: BUT if your Boyfriend has some serious cash-she will do just about anything to get(but some dancer's view of "serious cash" differs from others). 1 in 3 strippers are prostitutes. I always hear them tell the guys that they will go home with them and do all these things with them-but most of the time (again, unless he's rich) it's a lie just so they can get the cash, and, hillariously, I've seen guys fall for it time and time again. I felt kinda sorry for them because the dancers would get them drunk and take their money to the point where they didn't even have money for a cab. Strippers are very good actresses-never trust a dancer. Of course the appeal of going to strip clubs is seeing naked women everywhere-and having them like you sooo much-guys actually believe these women are into them lol.

    Back to the touching question-threre's not suppossed to be any touching-and most of the time there's not. But some strippers will bend the rules for extra tips. Sometimes guys just grab them if a bouncer's turned away. You have to understand that strippers are very greedy, most of the time desperate people, they are usually druggies and/or alcoholics and many don't actually want to be strippers-but are forced to be by pimps. Many of these people have been abused all their lives and go to work for more abuse. Through my experience-nearly 100% of dancers hate men.

    Now about their boddies being better: um...not. When I first started there I imagined it would be like the movies-glamorous pamela-anderson type girls, but that is so far from the truth. Do you know why strip clubs are so dark? So you can't see their C-section scars, their botched surgeries, their red eyes from being high as hell. Many are not attractive-but hey, they're naked-so who cares? Look at Paris Hilton- I don't think she has a good body at all-no curves skinny-but when she got naked all the guys went crazy. And for your question about small boobs-there are actually men who ask me if we have any-that they don't want huge nockers in their face-some men really do prefer small breasts-it seems like the flat chested dancers do as well as the DD dancers-I could go on and on about this topic-if you have any other questions just ask.

    • So if you was to strip for a guy not in a strip club no matter the size they'd liike it?

    • Could you word your question better?

  • it seems to me the girl strippers are more interested in girls then the men that go in there... me and my boyfriend have gone together each of us getting lap dance and they are crazy about me and just do a lap dance plain and simple for him... but its scary too strippers CAN get ur mans attention probably more easy then you can they are professionals in what they do... they know how get a guy o pay attention to them ... so yeah but it is a little nasty this one stripper girl wiped the pole b4 she got on it because she said sum girls got something there or something nasty girls

    • Thats gross for real lol

  • yeah I don't get either. it's kinda stupid to pay for someone to strip for you but I guess it's a self esteem boost? I don't dig guys who go to strippers for that gratification. just personal, no offense to anyone

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Basically - they're sexy.

    The good news for you is this - men will be turned on by sexy, but they will come back to you - that is not saying that I think you should allow your boyfriend to a strip club, not at all - but don't be so worried.

    If you're a great girl that's what matters - we girls tend to overestimate how important looks are to guys - honestly, he loves you for you.

  • basically guys biologically judge "value" visually and strippers tend to be pretty attractive in all the "right" ways. however most guys wouldn't have the confidence or strength of logic to see them as just some women who happen to look good so a strip club is the nearest they can can get to such women that they otherwise think they wouln't have a chance in hell with. It's a place that plays to their fantasies.

  • Ok...I've never been to a strip club and don't understand it myself. So I'm with you there.

    The reason that I can IMAGINE why guys like strippers is because they are overtly sexual, slutty in a sense, and what their tiny brain mass wants. If your guy is into this, you just have to either deal with it and confront him about your issues with it. Or find a decent man.

    Stripper poles are not ok outside of a strip club. If you really have to dress, and act like a stripper to get attention, well you're not only disrespecting yourself, but you are also ruining it for other women.

    AND NO IT'S NOT EMPOWERING!

    At the end of it all, pigs like strippers. Do you want a pig?

  • Why do guys like strippers? The same reason why Tpain's in love with a stripper: they've got the body of a goddess, with amplified body parts, they know what they're doing when pleasing a man, and they give guys what they want without having to speak a word. A strip club is the epitome of the term shallow but to men, it's just another form of porn. I'd say it's perfectly natural, because those kinds of girls are just staged figures. It may seem repugnant but it's just natural - not like those girls are actually interested in a guy; their ego won't allow them to love. Personally, I would never go to a strip club unless I got my crew with me because it's hilarious.

  • In this country, very little touching is allowed. In other countries, strip clubs are basically brothels. If your boyfriend going to strip clubs bothers you, you could always tell him what I discovered after going to my first strip club: strip clubs don't use women, they use men. In my opinion, there are few things sadder than seeing a bunch guys sitting around paying good money to have a woman take off her clothes, without even being able to touch.

    So I wouldn't put too much stock in what you read. Sounds more like they were trying to undercut your self-confidence, which isn't a hard thing to do to either sex. I bet they were probably selling something that promised to help make you look like a stripper too. So I doubt that he's going because strippers turn him on more than you. It's more likely he's going to be social with his guy friends.

    Hope that helps.

  • I don't like strip clubs never been and never will..No offense to anybody but to me its sad that they have to pay a girl to strip for you let alone some nasty whore who is probably riddled with diseases. An d most aren't even that attractive so Ill pass on that

  • First off be thankful that you are not on the other side of this issue. Girls who stripe for a living usually have very low opinions of the men who they take money from, and usually give up on men altogether.

    If your guy is turned on by a stripper, he is a normal average guy, but if he isn't smart enough to know they are just taking his money in exchange for a sexually charged adrenaline rush, then he might not be smart enough for you. I would suggest the swinger lifestyle before going the stripper route. At least that is something you can both participate in, and it has much more honesty involved.

    Good Luck

    James

  • How much touching? Depends on the law, the club, and the girl. It could be a three-foot radius, full-contact, or anything in between.

    Many (most?) guys want to see other girls bodies, no matter how their girlfriend looks. Biology; we're wired for novelty.

    I'm not sure about the rest of what you're reading. If a stripper is turning me on in a way my girlfriend can't (won't), I'm doing something wrong or I have the wrong girlfriend.

  • ive been to a strip club and there wasn't any touching at all. all they did was walk across a table in front of you and dance in your face if you flash them money. if you pay extra for a lap dance then yes you will get some extra contact but not much.

  • Carlos Mencia did a good job summing it up why men like to go to strip clubs...he said it's because men always chase women and run to buy them drinks at the club just to get a chance to talk with them, but when a guy goes into a strip club the tables get turned and he gets really hot looking girls being nice to him and asking to dance with him. It makes the guy feel like a king.

  • I find the idea arousing for about 2.5 seconds, then the overall grossness of it washes over me and that's that. There's sexy, and then there's like, "Why are you hanging upside-down off of that pole, miss?" So I'm like totally the wrong person to be commenting here. :)

  • Women and men just can't seem to get it together can we? Girls want a relationship and guys want sex. The truth is that guys want both and so do girls. Men are deeply pleasured by a sexy womans body. It's like taking speed to be close to a hot naked chick, and well, having sex with her is next akin to nirvana. If you could bottle the pleasure felt by that you could make a mint. No drug even comes close.

    When you can go and have nude women rub on you and smile at you and say sweet things to you and actually sit down and talk to you in a relaxed way, after having been shot down and kicked around by women all week, well it just makes sense that men would gravitate towards it. The secret to strippers is that it's NOT ALL ABOUT THE NUDITY AND SEX! If a girl just took her clothes off and danced naked in a non personal way and then asked for money, she'd soon be out of a job. Average strippers take the time to be personable. Great strippers take the time to talk to the guy and get to know them and appreciate them.

    Girls: Here's the secret to getting any man you want. Genuinely like him and want to be with him. Want him sexually and be the kind of girl he could take to his job or family. That's it.

    This is so simple. Women just don't want to give men what they want unless they are being paid. Men don't want to give women what they want unless they're getting laid. The truth is we could meet each other half way and alleviate some of the misery on both ends.

    • Sooo many stereotypes, what if you have a girlfriend at home who literally does anything you want from her sexually, because she's not into your money, she is genuinely into YOU and she makes you know? If she isn't a nagging bitch like you describe? In that scenario what's so great and *harmless* about strippers?

    • Well let me start by saying that for me personally I don't go in for girls unless they are top of the line in my eyes. Strippers don't fit that bill for me so I don't date them or visit them. I was trying to explain why some men go to strippers. They fill a need for men that don't know how to get it themselves. It sounds to me like you need a new "MAN" instead of a boy who visits strippers. Perhaps I should have said that to begin with.

  • Funny thing is my girlfriend is a stripper and don't worry I hate it more than you. There isn't much more than a girl dancing with her top off doing tricks on top of the pole. I guess for some guys its just nice to get out and have a little fun with the boys nothing too serious. But I do admit at some clubs more goes on behind close doors but I won't go there. If your boyfriend gets turned on my a stripper I'm sorry its just sad. If you look closely its just a girl trying to hustle a guy for a few more dollars, giving them their phone numbers or having a drink with them, complementing them and all of that. I'm not saying my girlfriend is like that because if she was I would never be with her. She respects herself and knows she has a boyfriend, unlike other girls who don't care and will do anything for a dollar. In a sense its only a cheap thrill. if your really that off about it, why don't you go out with him one night, most girls have more fun than guys.

  • Like you wrote, we just admire strippers. Honestly I don't take it further than admiration. Beyond that is gross. No physical contact for me.

  • because its less complicated...no drama...the lap dance is sooo sexy...we need a girl that will take the time to give us a lap dance...dark room nice music...oh yeah..lol

  • strippers... ya its just the fact of being around lots of half naked women that gets us off, going their means that you can get some "candy" without working for it. Guys don't go their because their better then their girlfriends, its just a relaxing experiences.

  • any guy likes just seeing boobs or p**** its just our nature because men like me are more aroused easily

  • Just remember, for a lot of guys, it's the only way they experience attention and some form of sexual gratification from the opposite gender, but it's extremely hard to get from women nowadays. That's why you see a lot of guys going to strip clubs and paying for only fans. It's sad. It's disturbing. But I understand why it goes on.

  • let me be clear, I am 40, and still single, I cannot speak for married men, or men who have women in their lives.

    if you read my essays, you would not that I am 40, never had a girlfriend, and I still get depressed over that fact that women won't give me the time of day. so every 6 months, or when I get depressed, I take a trip to the strip club. I know they only care about the $$$, but at least for an hour or 2, I can forget how lonely I am, and to be able to touch a woman. I think it is what keeps me from becoming suicidal from loneliness.

    so to those that judge men for going, remember, men are not born pigs, but us single guys need love and affection, and wether or not its real, we will go where we need to to get it.

  • Guys like strippers because they give them what they want. For guys a strip club is a place they can hang out, drink, talk and they know they are going to be surrounded by attractive women. Also, the strippers give the guys the attention they want. As far as the touching goes, when your guy in a strip club you are actually not allowed to touch any of the girls. Doesn't mean they won't touch you or put heir boobs in your face or give you a lap dance if you pay them. In reality the strippers are always in control of the situation, and tell the guys what they want to here and tease them to make as much $$ off of guys as they possibly can.

    • I know, and understand that. But I hate the fact that some bimbo is putting her tits in my man's face. I don't care if she isn't really into him and she just wants money, I care about his reactions. I hate thinking he is living some crappy fantasy with some other woman. Because really some other woman's tits in contact with his face? That's not a big deal? Maybe I sound prudish, but I KNOW he wouldn't like another man, even if clothed on top of me... lucky him I'm not into it.

    • Of course he hasn't gone being with me but I bet he'd love to and he will have some skank put her tits in his face for his bachelor party. I also don't feel thrilled about the fact that these women are obviously more attractive than me. Of course they are. And that sucks... and all of this is so acceptable. I'm sorry, Will-724... please don't take all my ranting personally, I'm just in an awful mood regarding my tits. I thank you for being honest and answering without sugar coating, so +1!

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