Is sex before a relationship ALWAYS a bad idea?

Is it always a bad idea to sleep with a guy before an official relationship? Does having sex before a relationship make men lose interest in you? If yes, why? And guys, what's your opinion on this?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • There are two reasons not to have sex before you have a relationship (assuming you WANT a relationship with that guy):

    1) Many guys don't want a relationship at all, and some of them will lie about it and say that they do because they think/know they can get into your pants that way. Then, they'll either dump you, or they'll keep stringing you along for more sex, but never give you the relationship. By making them wait, the ones that ONLY want sex will give up and move on. That may suck, but not as bad as being screwed and forgotten.

    2) Guys who ARE looking for a relationship will often not consider a girl who has sex with ANYONE outside of a relationship (including the guy!) to be "relationship material." That doesn't mean he won't be happy to get sex, or won't try to get it, and may want more of it later, but he'll never consider making the girl is girlfriend. This is becaue the guy will assume that if you slept with him outside of a relationship, you'll do it with someon else (and that you've probably done it before). Not *every* guy thinks this way, but probably the majority do.

    I recommend girls wait at least 3-5 dates after starting a relationship before having sex, at least until you're 30 or so (when you know yourself and your needs better, and have more experience evaluating relationships). It's not a super long time, but it's enough to at least get to know the guy and establish that your relationship isn't JUST about sex.

  • There will always be those that lose interest if you have sex with them first...however...here is a point that is often not discussed..how many lose interest even if there is a relationship? One gal was stating on here a couple of months ago that she had made the guy wait a long time..6 months or something and he dumped her after she finally had sex with him anyway...if you have sex with a guy before a relationship then odds are somewhat higher that you are dealing with a womanizer...in my case...I would probably not have shacked you unless I found you attractive..*exception would be if I got very drunk and she carried me home..O:O.. that happened once*...if I found you attractive and we shacked then I would look at your personality and if I liked that...then I would try to date you..even if if sex came first..(:

Most Helpful Girls

  • It's not ALWAYS a bad idea. If you want a genuine relationship and not a friend with benefits, it's wise to hold off on the sex--but of course there are always exceptions. There are plenty of people who have sex with each other before entering a successful relationship, just be aware that it isn't ideal. I once tried to turn a sexual relationship into a committed relationship but it didn't work out for me, but that doesn't mean it won't work for someone else.

  • No, I know of plenty of people who hooked up then had a successful relationship.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I wouldn't even consider a serious relationship with a woman until I've slept with her. Why would I commit to a serious relationship while such a gigantic question mark hangs over it?

    • I can't say your point is fair because intimacy is a big part of a relationship, but for me, sex without commitment first doesn't feel like anything special, if i have sex with a girl who i either don't know very good, don't like enough, or feel as tyough she's not feeling me enough to commit then no way would i want sex with her, the girl im seeing now is a very sexual person but isn't quite ready to commit and im an old school guy (im 20, so it's probably different for me to think this) but i REFUSE to let her send me nudes, advance on me, or anything more intimate then kissing or cuddling until we become a thing, she's an awesome girl, but she's been with a decent amount of shitty guys (one of which was a good buddy of mine) and she goes to see therapists partially because of it, so i don't want her to feel like sex or sexual things before commitment is needed for us to be together.

    • Isn't fair*

  • Yes, always bad. Sex, at the minimum, is a mutual reward for a committed, monogamous relationship

  • No, not always.

    You know what you're getting yourself into. ;)

  • not always a bad idea.

  • I would never do it.. I think people with class don't do things like that.

  • It doesn't change how I feel about the girl if she bangs me before were in a relationship.

  • nope. depends on the individuals involved and/or what they want from being together.

  • No not always because not all men lose interest after sex. It really depends on the guy and the situation and what the guy is looking for in his life and what he sees you as before you have sex with him.

  • If she's really good, it makes me want a relationship more.

    :D