My husband is a prude, what should I do?

So we've been married for a year now and we've always had a healthy sex life compared to most people. But I have a very high sex drive, I'd be happy to do it every night. My husband, however, is the total opposite. He initiates maybe 2 or 3 times a month! The majority of the time I initiate and get turned down. He also doesn't like p*rn, never has. And he won't go down on me. I'm clean, don't smell funny, clean shaven, what's the problem? I go down on him all the time.

Now before you ask, yeah he's always had a lower sex drive than me but not this bad. And why did I marry him if the sex isn't phenomenal, well...I love him.

So my question is, how can I get him to be a little more kinky? Experiment more and all that without making him feel emasculated or like he's not good? He refuses to just chat casually about sex.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Have you tried talking to him directly about your needs? How about meeting somewhere in the middle?

    Here's some of the reasons he may have a lower sex drive:

    1. Work

    2. Stress in general

    3. Exhaustion

    4. You put on weight

    5. He put on weight

    6. Low testosterone

    7. Some other medical condition

    8. A combination of factors above or perhaps something else

    You need to talk to him about why you love your husband inside of you and how manly that makes him feel. Don't be afraid to talk dirty to him outside of the bedroom. He needs to know that you love him and want him, not are scolding him because he isn't fulfilling your nightly desires (hey, many guys would kill for that). Ask him what you can do to help him and be prepared to listen carefully.

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      Yeah I honestly have. I've tried to sit down and talk to him about it, ask him questions, etc. He just doesn't respond to it. He doesn't want to discuss it. His opinion on it is "this is sex. this is how it is. it's not changing so get used to it". Not in those harsh words but basically, that's what it boils down to. Giving you best answer just because you were so thorough :) Thank you for that.

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      It could be mental, perhaps something that his XO is asking him to do? That's a high stress profession. Just write that letter and make it as non-judgmental as possible. Focus on how good he makes you feel when he has his way with you and that you love it and would like it more often.

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      I'll definitely try that. Thanks for your help :)