What's your reaction to a guy with an erection in public?

Okay, here's why I ask. I was recently, as in yesterday, on a crowded subway train. I mean it was REALLY crowded, people packed in like sardines. I was crammed up against a corner and this really attractive girl is standing in front of me with her back to me.

Eventually it was packed enough that she had no choice but to basically be pushed up against me. When this happened her ass was in direct contact with my groin... and despite my efforts to keep it down, the swaying of the train made it so she was kind of rubbing up against me and pretty soon I had a raging hardon that was quite obviously poking her in the ass, the way it lifted up it was almost prodding between her legs... and there wasn't really any way for me to fix it without drawing attention to it.

There was no way she couldn't have noticed, we were so close and the train was moving around so much it was practically like she was grinding me unintentionally. I was just waiting for her to turn around and slap me or something but she made no comment or gave any sign that she knew. Eventually when the crowd thinned out and she went to get off at her stop, she turned around before she got off the train, looked down at my crotch and just giggles a little before exiting.

So the question is, girls, how do you react to seeing (or in this rare case I guess, feeling) a guy with an erection in public? Do you look to see what he was looking at? Are you wondering whether it was you that caused it? Have you ever purposely tried to cause it? Does it turn you on? Does it gross you out? Do you just find it funny/amusing? etc. Any specific examples you can think of?

And what would you have done in the situation I described above? Because honestly I can't believe she didn't slap me or something.

Speculation about what was going through HER head is fine, but I'm also wondering what goes through YOUR (i.e. other girls') heads in situations like this where you've seen or felt that happen, or what WOULD be your reaction, etc.


Most Helpful Girl

  • She probably thought she was the one that caused it and took it as a compliment lol. She also probably felt bad for you in a way. She's not going to make fun of you for it. Girls get turned on too, we just don't show it. She probably felt like she accomplished something haha.


What Girls Said 26

  • Seriously, for me - it would all have to depend on the guy.

    If you were pushing your erection onto me purposely, I would be very offended and uncomfortable. It would make me feel violated - and I would try to get away or slap you.

    But if it were very crowded, and you weren't making any obvious attempts to rub yourself all over me - I would be more understanding and probably even feel bad for you.

    As long as you weren't trying to draw my attention to your erection (like a perv), I would just endure it, what else could be done?

    Fortunately, I live in a city where everyone has a car, no need to take public transportation at all.

    • No, I was backed into a corner on the train... couldn't really back away any more from her. If anything, she was pushing into me, but I'm pretty sure that was just the movement of the train.I doubt she'd have been doing it on purpose, but then again, what do I know?

    • If that were the case, I wouldn't hold it against you. You would be some cute anecdote I would share with my girl friends when I got home - "OMG, the cutest guy got a BONER on my ass on the train ride home! Poor guy tried so hard to get away - blah blah blah."

      Is this something you'll remember forever?

    • It was indeed an experience. Can't say its an entirely unique one though. I take the train to and from work every day and it tends to be packed at rush hour... similar things have happened beore, although something like what happened yesterday, where there was no escape and nothing to be done about it, has not happened before.

  • It sounds pretty bad, but if you had been an ugly or unattractive guy, you would not have gotten out of that subway so unscathed. She was probably flattered, and that smile she gave you was definitely flirting/teasing. My friends and I call scenarios like this RIB's (Random Instances of Boners). RIB's happen to girls SO often (Namely at clubs, movie theaters, harmless sleepovers, and other areas that are badly lit or very crowded) that we are not at liberty to even try and be polite about it when it's displeasing. Sometimes it even goes unnoticed. The fact that she smiled means she was initiating part of it. Yes, it is a huge turnon for a number of reasons. You know that you can arouse a man without even meaning to, and it's kinda taboo for something like that to be happening in public. It heavily depends though, on the person who's getting hard for you. Women aren't totally crass y'know. We like feeling desirable. If a hot chick rubbed her t*ts against your back "without meaning to" would you tell her to stop? You probably made her day = )

    • Well, while I can sort of understand that, basing your reaction on the attractiveness of the guy in question seems rather shallow. I mean if an older or rather unattractive man gets a hardon without intent to... it seems like it would be rather unfair to give him sh*t about it. It's not like we can help it one way or another, just like girls can't help getting wet (albeit probably not quite as easy to make that happen). Nature just made it muhc more obvious in men.

    • Yes, but your question was how would we react, and that would of course have to do with our attraction to the guy with the RIB (lmao, I am gonna have to start using that term).

  • I guess it really depends on whether the girl finds you attractive. If a guy did that to me and he was attractive I'd feel flattered. But if a 40 year old man did that or an ugly teenager I'd feel sort of sick.

  • lol I would find it funny. just because it would be. she might be flattered.

  • I've taken crowded trains for years now. I hate getting rubbed on. It happens far too often and I'm pretty sure it's on purpose like 98% of the time. I'm not talking about when it's just one bump like when the train lurches or something. I'm talking about when the guy does it multiple times and stares at me but won't meet my eyes. It's so creepy and gross. I've always wanted to call the cops on these guys or sue them or something, but it seems like it'd be such a mess to prove.

    • :(... Well I can understand being creeped out or something if a guy is purposely rubbing up against you... I was trying my best to back away though... just didn't have anywhere to go...

  • If the guy was hot, I would be flattered and creeped out. If the guy was not hot, I would be just plain creeped out.

    • Flattered AND creeped out?... that seems contradictory. Do you mean you'd be flattered but embarassed for the guy?...

      And why does the physical attractiveness of the guy matter? All guys respond to stimulus the same way... and all are as susceptible to being aroused... there's no difference in that department between "hot" guys and "not hot" guys. It's not like "hot" guys are harder to arouse and it's a greater accomplishment to be able to arouse them than less attractive guys.

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    • True, but an erection is a sign that you're turned on, voluntarily or not. If an old fat dude rubbed up against me unintentionally and got hard, I would be really really grossed out. If a young hot guy did the same thing, I would be flattered for .2 seconds and then revert to being a little weirded out.

      You can't help your erection; I can't help my reaction, simple as that.

    • Well yeah... okay it's awkward for both parties involved I'll grant you that

  • why would she slap you?

    you just got a hardon because of her and she knows it:)

    she's going to go back home and call all of her friends and say guess what I did!hahaha

    girls do get turned on by it.i get turned on by it.

    it would have been hilarious if you asked for her number hahahaha

    you're standing there with a boner and she's getting off the train while you're yelling at her, "can I call you sometime?"

    that would be completely rad.

    but no it's nothing to be embarassed or anything like that about.

  • I go to the local nude beach a lot during the summer. Its a great place to go to check out guys. Most men have no problem walking around completely nude. I love checking out their packages. When they walk their penis' always swing back and forth, but the best is watching them play volleyball. But what I find really hot is when a guy is just walking along the beach with a complete hard on. I watched one guy walk right past me as his **** stood straight out from his body. It was really big too. He was completely shaved, balls and everything except a small patch of hair just above his shaft. I watched as his rigid shaft tried to bounce but couldn't. His balls were bouncing though,LOL! As he walked past I said, Enjoying your day? I couldn't believe he stopped to talk to me. As I was laying on my back naked myself, this guy was standing in front of me introducing himself while his massive erection was pointing right at me. We had a short talk, but the entire time I had my eyes on his hard on. What was interesting was that as he was talking his penis would bounce up and down a little, even though it was at full mast. His balls were hanging real low and looked smooth. The girl laying next to me couldn't take her eyes off him either. It was a great day.

    • Wow, interesting story. Not quite what I was looking for, but okay...

    • I appreciate a woman that loves to see erections on the beach!

    • This sounds like the beginning of one of those "letters to penthouse" - lol.

  • She probably thought it was sexy. And I think she liked it LOL.

    I think a guy getting pokey-pants is SUPER SEXY. My god if it weren't for the fact that it embarrasses him, I'd do it on purpose to my Boyfriend all the time!

  • I think guys getting boners in public is cute, and it's a HUGE turn on if I'm the one that caused.

    If a girl makes it known that she notices your boner, just give her a shy smile and maybe go from there!

    Personally, I wish my guy would lemme know when he's got a boner.

    Maybe I could do something about it more often...

  • I'd find it funny. Cause its not something you can really control so its just like okay what happens now. I admit Id be a little weirded out from a random guy pitching a tent in his pants but there's nothing really wrong with it. You can't just say "STAY DOWN!" or anything.

  • haha wow...I don't think I've seen one in public with the exception of the bar and have felt one before while grinding up on that person but it's not really a surprise that it would happen in a bar. I was a little turned on by it but then was turned off when he whispered "I want you so bad right now" in my ear. If I was that girl I would have been a little flattered and amused that I had caused that to happen.

  • yeah in english class earlier this year. this guy in front of me had one. and I am pretty sure it was me because he was like only talking to me and we are really good friends, but not in a boyfriend type of way. and then in the middle of class he just like completely shut down and didn't say anything. I felt bad for him...but I didn't say anything. I wouldn't say I was flattered but not disgusted either.

  • i get you couldn't help it... I really do. but I would have felt very awkward unless you were my boyfriend, (that would be a turn on) I probably would have found a way myself, let somone else get that "seat" and I wouldn't have cared if I had to push someone out of the way, and piss someone off.. but in the case you state 100% impossible to change said position I would have completely ignored it.. and even though people bashed the girl below who said she's push a guy under the train I'm positive the girl this happened with was glad you wern't an old guy and you were you.

  • I'd feel really uncomfortable and it's be a very awkward situation lol. But I woulnd't say or do anything-id just ignore it.

    • Wow, I'm surprised at the variety in responses here and yet none of them are nearly as negative as I'd figured they would be.

    • Lol us girls aren't that mean, they'd have to be very immature (and a bit stuck up their own arse) to turn round and give you a slap lol. Its not like you can control it especially when you've got a girls butt rubbing it.

  • If it was just a strange guy who I didn't know who had an erection, I'd probably be a little creeped out...I don't want some guys hard-on in my butt...

  • In the situation above, I would probably have just ignored you and gone on my way. It's not exactly like it was "unprovoked" and you were masturbating in public, it was just that she accidentally aroused you.

    I think it really depends on the guy. If it was an attractive guy, I might be turned on, or flattered. If it's a creepy old man... ew.

  • Well, the funny thing about guys and hard ons, is that they kind of can't help it, and girls know this. Knowing that they can make you have one even if it's at a totally inappropriate or inconvenient, is kind of an ego booster. I am woman, I turn you on, Hear me roar.

    If a girl can tell you have one, they undoubtedly wonder if they made it happen.

    Some girls will act grossed out mostly because they either know your personally or are just uncomfortable about sex as a whole.

    me, personally, I'd be kind of flattered to be honest. I made it happen to a lifeguard at the beach one time and was grinning like a fool all day.

    If I was in the situation above, I probably would have tried to get away from you, not out of disgust, but because I wouldn't want to make it worse or.. make it not be there anymore if you catch my drift. Also, I'd try to figure out if it was on accident or if you were some perv trying to dry hump me in public.

    So, there's my two cents. Hope it helped.

    • Let's see...he's a "perv" for a sexual response, but you're just OK spiffy fine for causing it? Did I get that right?

  • i would lmao, I'm so serious and think, wow...wtf ? o.o

  • I would feel kinda special, I mean like really. It's more of a compliment that aguy thinks you're hott.=D.

    1 : If a guy had an erection in public , and I fI notice it, I think I would giggle a little then smile at him :)

    2 . I probably would look to see what caused it , and to see if it isn't me to get in front of the person, and aim it at me ( Yeah, I like attention)

    3. Yes, I would wonder if I did it or not

    4. Yuppers, I certainly did try to cause it, It's very funny to do so, like wear a mini-skirt then "accidently" bend down, or just flirt with him LOADS, and touch him...

    5. I would think it's more funny then a turn-on, If it would be my Boyfriend , it would certainly be a turn-on, otherwise , no.

    6. It doesn't reallly gross me out, cause girls kinda have their own way of "erecting" (it's just not as visible) .

    7. I would realy think it's amusing, cause It's a thing girls don't experience to a day to day basis.

    Hope that helped!



  • I would've been disgusted and moved away.

    Even if there was no room to move, I would've found a way to move.

    Even though you say the boner was unintentional, a woman might interpret it as sexual harassment.

    Why didn't you reorient your body so you weren't facing the back of her body?

    • Because we were packed in like sardines... I didn't have any way of moving or re-orienting my body unless I was going to shover her away.

      Having an erection is not sexual harassment, it's not something I could control. I had my back against the corner of the train her in front of me and people all around me squishing me into the corner.

      You say this as if you think I'm some sort of creep that gets of rubbing up against women on the train. It's not something I had control over.

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    • Who doesn't love sardines?

    • Must be fat and unattractive

  • I must admit, I get turned on when that happens to me, a guy I don't know on the crowded train poking me in the ass. It has happened a few times, as the train I get is usually very crowded. I just ride the train and enjoy it, and I position it in the center, as that is the nicest position.

  • i find it really exciting, I love the thought of getting caught, and I find it a complete turn on lol

  • totally agree with the "best answer," but also wanted to add that the girl prob thought you were cute too

  • hahahahah this sounds like a fantasy I've had about a hot guy! damn I wish I was in her shoes! lol but no really it does turn me on, but there is a catch, I either have to at least know the guy, know his name at least or should have seen him around, go to school with him , basicially have some connection with him that he's not 100% complete stranger or if he is a stranger he has to be extremely hot and good looking, and #2 he has to be in my age group, I swear if it was some old fart forget slapping I wouldve shoved him under the train!

    sometimes around the guy I like or if he is someone I haven't met yet but seen around and he's hot I have a crush on him, I do wish I can get the chance to give him a boner, its like a boost for me, sort of like a thumbs up, that proves that heyyy, I can be an attractive girl who can turn on a guy...and girls just need that reassurance sometimes...it feels amazing.

    one time, I liked this one guy, and we had physics lab together in class, and my leg brushed up on his because we were working very close to each other on the apparatus we were dealing with, and I was uncontrollably leaning into his area without realizing it, and he smiled at first and seemed nervous or blushed, and then he readjusted his leg kinda (which pissed me off at first because I didn't know back then guys get boners that quick or didn't know what I had caused and took it as a sign he didn't like me and I made him feel uncomfortable because he backed off) and then he got up and said he'll brb all of a sudden and went out to use the bathroom or get fresh air or something...which after seeing other qs on this website I learned and realized I most probably did give him a boner because I know he was attracted to me...it made me feeel awesome I have the ability to do that...so yes its not gross at all, its natural and makes me feel better about myself...

    • Throw under the train? Uh, did you miss the part where this was completely unintentional??

      Or are you one of those inexperienced young girls who don't know guys can't controlerections?

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    • No, but I have to keep getting the notifications about a conversation I don't feel like looking at. Telling me to shut up? That's real mature. I should have known since you talk about maturity so much and how other people need to grow up... But seriously, this is not the place for an argument. You want to bitch and whine at this person then message them or something, just don't do it here.

What Guys Said 6

  • Maybe this was one of those few girls who knows that sometimes that kind of thing can't be controlled. I personally have never had something like that happen to me but if I had I would've just let it be, there wasn't anything you could've done unless you wanted to try and reach between her legs and try to get it out (now THAT might've gotten you slapped).

    I remember reading a quesion on here with a guy asking how women feel about giving guys erections, most of the women said they were flattered that they were able to get that reaction.

    But everybody is different.

    • Well I was primarily looking for female perspectives, but thanks for the input. Perhaps the girls I've known have just been more conservative.

  • What a great experience and especially the giggles afterwards.

  • I swear I'm not a horn dog, but that is an awesome story!

  • she probably was flattered, that she was able to do that, too bad you didn't talk to her, man, it'd been perfect

    oh, and I'm guessing she was wearing something like revealing too?

  • Awesome story bro.

  • So, if you ride the train often... and it gets that packed...does that mean you popped wood from a guy rubbing against you at some point in your life?

    • No, usually I'm facing a window or sitting down, and even if I was in that position... I'm not really attracted to guys. There's a difference between having an attractive woman unintentionally rubbing up against you and someone you find unattractive doing so.

    • Actually it has been proven that a guy can get aroused even if he doesn't want to by certain stimulation. This has been proven in cases where women have raped men stating that he had an erection, he must have liked it.

    • I'm sure it's possible. But I know my own body better than any study or statistics about this. If I was in a similar position as this with a guy I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have been a problem. The main reason THIS one happened is because it was an attractive woman, she wasn't grinding on me, there was very little physical stimulation. If it had been a guy, I'd likely have been too uncomfortable. Maybe I'm an anomaly but if I'm repulsed by something it won't do that to me.