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My boyfriend won't let me give him a blowjob?

So here's the story. Me and my boyfriend have been dating 6 months now. The other day I thought we should take our relationship farther so I let him finger me. He wanted to give me oral to so I let him. As I went to return the favor he stopped me and I asked him if there was a problem. He said "I'm not gonna let you give me a blowjob because I think its degrading for girls". I felt really bad because all I could do was rub it.(I'm a virgin and staying that way for a while). Anyways I told him that I wanted to and its fine. He still told me no. And I also told him he didn't have to give me oral if he didn't want to but he said "I'm giving you oral no matter wut you say because I'm not taking no for an answer".then he gave me it again.I'm really confused. Does anybody know y he would not let me give him oral? Is this normal for guys? Help please.

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • Hmmm I can't imagine why not. What is very confusing is that he thinks it degrading. How? Why?I assume that you have seen his penis. Is it circumcised?That could be why if it is not. He may be embarrassed. Size? Untrimmed pubes? Maybe he thinks that he may "finish" to fast."I know that you don't want to ruin the "mood" but simply ask him how is it degrading? This is what guy & girls do.I think that it is smart for you to want to remain a virgin. Do not let anyone pressure you. You know him better than I but I don't like this he is going to give you oral & he is not taking NO for an answer. What happens when it or if it ever comes to the next step & he gives you that line?You are in charge! Only when YOU are ready for that.

    • Sorry I took long to write back I was waiting to see if he would let me. still no. I don't know why he thinks its degrading but he is circumcised and has a nice size. he also shaves so that's good and he lets me give him hand jobs so I know he doesn't finish fast. he doesn't tell me y he just says its degrading and I don't understand.Oh and the thing about him not taking no for an answer isn't a problem. he means he's not gonna stop because I feel bad. he will stop if I really do want him to.

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    • Well I think that at this point you have to respect his wishes. He is trying not to be selfish about this and be respectful of your relationship. He feels very strongly about this and it is kind of nice to know that he is thinking of you & your relationship first.If this is something that you really want to try or do wait a while and then try again saying that you want to move to the next level. Be careful in the future he may want more saying the same thing back to you.

    • Ok. thank you for trying to figure it out for me.

What Guys Said 25

  • I suppose his opinion is what he said (I quote you): "I think its degrading for girls". He must have heard or read that at some moment during his sexual education and accepted it as a fact.If you like doing it for yourself, then don't take "no" for an answer. If you do it only to pleasure him, you can just note it doesn't pleasure him because he feels guilty accepting it and that this feeling spoils his pleasure. It can spoil the pleasure to the point of keeping him from having an orgasm that way- lots of men do not have orgasms from BJs' (I remember reading 70% or so) You can always talk it out with him and explain that to your sentiment and with him it is not degrading for you.

  • he sounds like he just want's to be in controll and doesn't like the girl doing it to him... there could also be some past event that turned him away from it and degrading girls is just an excuse.

  • It's not normal from what I've seen on this site for a guy to turn down a bj. Some guys act like it's better than a vaginal orgasm. It's very bizarre to me any guy would think such a thing. He seems to have some misguided sense of sanctimonious ideal that girls shouldn't be giving their boyfriends a bj. He's strange.

    • I agree. If anything is degrading was the fact that she had to "ask" to give him one..... then he like a bossy prick by said "I'm giving you oral no matter what you say" .... wow! I suggest she should dump this guy fast 'cause he's bad news!

    • I agree. She needs to find a man and dump the boy.

  • i don't like head

  • Tell him that it's only degrading when you MAKE it degrading... If you WANT to make him feel good by giving him oral sex, how is it degrading?Then again, you could always tie him up and... forcefully do it ;pMight even show him you CAN stand up for yourself, that you retain your power, and that when you do it to him, it isn't degrading for you at all...

    • Hahaha I like this answer

  • He is just weird that's all. It's suppose to be the other way around.

  • i can see where he was coming from until the part where you said its ok that you wanted to, I think he's a bit strange. ask him why he won't let you and tell him how you feel about him not letting you do it to him. tell him to think about it from the other way, if you wouldn't let him cause you think its degrading to men, but you won't take no for an answer. tell him you want to do it as much as he does. or maybe suggest trying 69 so you can both do it at the same time. explian to him that its not degrading if you WANT to do it to him and find out why he thinks it is

  • You should break out the handcuffs and force him to let you suck his dick. lolIt'd be funny if he cried.

  • This isn't normal for guys but he's taken the following in the wrong way. A lot of the time girls go into relationships where the boy uses them. Usually the guy would get the girl to give him a blowjob amongst other things and so now he thinks its bad for guys to have blowjobs at all because you are using the girl.

  • So if it's degrading for you to give him head is it empowering for him to give you head? Sounds odd to me.

    • You mean lick her out lol?

  • Like he said, he probably does actually think it's degrading for girls and doesn't want you to change nor that he want to see you in another light. He's a bit sensitive in that respect.But he's gonna want it at some point. You really need to just tell him that you don't find it degrading if it's for someone you love. It's not like he's going to hold you back the back of the head and gag you. That's degrading. Not the blowjob itself.

  • No, it is not normal for guys to turn down a blow job. I believe that he might just have some sort of a hang-up about the issue. He might think that you will go too far and have him come in your mouth, then you will want to kiss him right after that. Some people do not care to taste their own flavors. I'm not sure, it could be anything, try leaving the subject alone for awhile, then in normal conversation, tell him you have a strong desire to see what it is like to give a BJ

  • He could feel insecure.. maybe about his penis size or something in relation to that. Maybe even performance anxiety...

  • This is crazy, if I was your boyfriend I'd be jumping at the chance of a BJ, as would all guys a I know. If your in a relationship there is nothing degrading about this so not sure where he gets that idea from. I'd confront him on this and ask why he won't let you pleasure him too. After all, half the pleasure in sexual activity is seeing how much you turn your partner on.

  • maybe he has P.E. or something

  • There could be many answer.s So I'm gonna try as many as possible.1. He has a small penis and would be embarrassed.2. He thinks it's degrading because guys are always saying " suck my dick " and stuff like that.3. He's half gay.4. Thinks that your being forced to do it.Honestly I would never tell a girl to not give me head. There's almost nothing better than it.

    • 1.he does not have a small penis I've seen it.2.ive never heard a guy just flat out tell a girl to suck it.3.even gay guys like oral(hes not gay anyways)4.he knows I want to do it really bad.

    • You've never heard a guy tell a girl to suck it? Lmao, don't get out much?

    • Or maybe she's just not a slag?

  • this guy was just raised well, maybe to well, he has (what I think) to much respect for women and over time it "will" ruin your relationship. Not preforming the bj it self won't disrupt the relationship but over time things will get old, TRUST ME you will be the one suffering.

    • @Benny-boy[this guy was just raised well, maybe to well,] indeed[ to much respect for women] Is that possible? [over time it "will" ruin your relationship~over time things will get old, TRUST ME you will be the one suffering.] You should explain more clearly what you have in mind.

  • if he said degrading then he's just nice , nothing is wrong with that some guys take the point that a girl sucking his dick is degrading for the point that she gets down between his legs if you know what I mean ..you can try talking to him and tell him that's its ok , a good talk is always needed for such things ..

  • He might not last long

  • some guys just don't like blowjobs my buddy who is 27 doesn't even believe in oral at all for either sex

  • So strange.Every guys loves to receive oral.

    • Mrkallai,every guy might like it but not not every guy loves it to the point of having an orgasm that way

  • ill give you an answer from my personal experience which I don't believe anyone here has stated.your a virgin = he's not getting sex.if he's not getting sex he might be annoyed at that fact and saying no to a bj is his way of being spiteful and 'getting back at you' kind of thing

  • This is weird. If my girlfriend wanted to give me head, my pants would be off before she could finish the sentence!

  • Gay to be fair.

    • So gay guys gont give oral... lol

    • Would you want something inyour mouth that's covered in... never mind.

  • LOL, no it's not normal. He's an idiot.

What Girls Said 12

  • weird...does his words meet his actions? Meaning is he respectful of girls outside the bedroom? Does he have a thing with equality or something?

  • omg that's the cutest thing I ever heard. your so lucky to have a guy like that. if he truly thinks that then ya just say you don't think its degrading and you want to do it for him.

  • it could be just what he says it is.. he could really feel like its degrading to women. guys to tell girls to "suck their dick" in a disrespectful way, I've heard that plenty of times. (not directed to me)

  • He may feel insecure, or maybe he thinks it'll somehow hurt you. Some guys also do not like blowjobs, it could be several things. Just ask him.

  • he respects you in a odd way

  • Pretty much what stktder said. It sounds like hang-ups. Talk it through with him some more. There are quite a lot of feminist women who are advocating many of these sexual acts as not being degrading to women inherently. I agree. It doesn't matter what you do but how you do it and that goes negatively too. The degradation factor is only there for the people who do these things with that purpose. The act of giving head is NOT degrading itself. I am one of many women who find it very sexy and empowering. I love doing it. Perhaps you could do some research on these perspectives and tell your boyfriend about it.Some feminists to look up who advocate these acts as empowering are:Dr. Tristan TaorminoDacia RayErika LustBest of luck.

  • UM smell him after you rub him - my guess is he is already having sex and he(it) still has the lingering scent of another woman. I don't know of any guy that doesn't like of or would turn down oral especially if he's returning the favor. I'm sorry but I'm just being honest. I could be wrong but after you rub him smell your hand. Go from there. Maybe he's also not confident you know with ( it). Just try this first if not in time will tell. I'm sorry.

  • alls I can say really is that you need to be carfull... because if he is that controlling he might get aggressive (in the bad way)

  • maybe he thinks it nasty because you going to kiss him after..

  • My ex said that exact line. I'd ask and ask and tell him I wanted to and he'd say no. Over time I actually felt really rejected, like I was gross or something cause all I could think was how guys like that stuff. We went on a break and he let another girl go down on him... All I could think was "you never let me but you let her". I agree, it will hurt in the long run.

  • my boyfriend is the same way, he lets me do it sometimes though but he feels like its wrong because its degrading. He has a lot of respect for you so you shouldn't complain about it, plus giving bj's isn't that fun anyway.

  • Now that's unusual to hear a guy say that. No I don't think it's normal. That would just be like a cute thing for a guy to say that didn't mean it. lol! Like he was joking. If a guy seriously told me that I'd think there was something wrong with him. Giving head it fun and if he won't let you do it, well damn, then just let him do oral on you all he wants because at least you're getting pleasured. Just make sure he's doing you as good as you want including a fantastic orgasm every time. Maybe later on he'll change his mind.

    • Your comment is disgusting. "then just let him do oral on you all he wants because at least you're getting pleasured"

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