My boyfriend won't let me give him a blowjob?

So here's the story. Me and my boyfriend have been dating 6 months now. The other day I thought we should take our relationship farther so I let him finger me. He wanted to give me oral to so I let him. As I went to return the favor he stopped me and I asked him if there was a problem. He said "I'm not gonna let you give me a blowjob because I think its degrading for girls".

I felt really bad because all I could do was rub it.(I'm a virgin and staying that way for a while). Anyways I told him that I wanted to and its fine. He still told me no. And I also told him he didn't have to give me oral if he didn't want to but he said "I'm giving you oral no matter wut you say because I'm not taking no for an answer".then he gave me it again.

I'm really confused. Does anybody know y he would not let me give him oral? Is this normal for guys? Help please.


0|1
13|27

Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmmm I can't imagine why not. What is very confusing is that he thinks it degrading. How? Why?

    I assume that you have seen his penis. Is it circumcised?That could be why if it is not. He may be embarrassed. Size? Untrimmed pubes? Maybe he thinks that he may "finish" to fast."

    I know that you don't want to ruin the "mood" but simply ask him how is it degrading? This is what guy & girls do.

    I think that it is smart for you to want to remain a virgin. Do not let anyone pressure you. You know him better than I but I don't like this he is going to give you oral & he is not taking NO for an answer. What happens when it or if it ever comes to the next step & he gives you that line?

    You are in charge! Only when YOU are ready for that.

    1|0
    • Sorry I took long to write back I was waiting to see if he would let me. still no. I don't know why he thinks its degrading but he is circumcised and has a nice size. he also shaves so that's good and he lets me give him hand jobs so I know he doesn't finish fast. he doesn't tell me y he just says its degrading and I don't understand.

      Oh and the thing about him not taking no for an answer isn't a problem. he means he's not gonna stop because I feel bad. he will stop if I really do want him to.

    • Show All
    • Well I think that at this point you have to respect his wishes. He is trying not to be selfish about this and be respectful of your relationship. He feels very strongly about this and it is kind of nice to know that he is thinking of you & your relationship first.

      If this is something that you really want to try or do wait a while and then try again saying that you want to move to the next level. Be careful in the future he may want more saying the same thing back to you.

    • Ok. thank you for trying to figure it out for me.

GAG Video of the Day

How To Become A Morning Person

What Guys Said 27

  • I suppose his opinion is what he said (I quote you): "I think its degrading for girls". He must have heard or read that at some moment during his sexual education and accepted it as a fact.

    If you like doing it for yourself, then don't take "no" for an answer. If you do it only to pleasure him, you can just note it doesn't pleasure him because he feels guilty accepting it and that this feeling spoils his pleasure. It can spoil the pleasure to the point of keeping him from having an orgasm that way- lots of men do not have orgasms from BJs' (I remember reading 70% or so) You can always talk it out with him and explain that to your sentiment and with him it is not degrading for you.

    0|0
  • if he said degrading then he's just nice , nothing is wrong with that some guys take the point that a girl sucking his dick is degrading for the point that she gets down between his legs if you know what I mean ..

    you can try talking to him and tell him that's its ok , a good talk is always needed for such things ..

    0|0
  • It's not normal from what I've seen on this site for a guy to turn down a bj. Some guys act like it's better than a vaginal orgasm. It's very bizarre to me any guy would think such a thing. He seems to have some misguided sense of sanctimonious ideal that girls shouldn't be giving their boyfriends a bj. He's strange.

    0|1
    • I agree. If anything is degrading was the fact that she had to "ask" to give him one..... then he like a bossy prick by said "I'm giving you oral no matter what you say" .... wow! I suggest she should dump this guy fast 'cause he's bad news!

    • I agree. She needs to find a man and dump the boy.

  • Tell him that it's only degrading when you MAKE it degrading... If you WANT to make him feel good by giving him oral sex, how is it degrading?

    Then again, you could always tie him up and... forcefully do it ;p

    Might even show him you CAN stand up for yourself, that you retain your power, and that when you do it to him, it isn't degrading for you at all...

    2|2
  • i can see where he was coming from until the part where you said its ok that you wanted to, I think he's a bit strange. ask him why he won't let you and tell him how you feel about him not letting you do it to him. tell him to think about it from the other way, if you wouldn't let him cause you think its degrading to men, but you won't take no for an answer. tell him you want to do it as much as he does. or maybe suggest trying 69 so you can both do it at the same time. explian to him that its not degrading if you WANT to do it to him and find out why he thinks it is

    0|0
More from Guys
22

What Girls Said 13

  • UM smell him after you rub him - my guess is he is already having sex and he(it) still has the lingering scent of another woman. I don't know of any guy that doesn't like of or would turn down oral especially if he's returning the favor. I'm sorry but I'm just being honest. I could be wrong but after you rub him smell your hand. Go from there. Maybe he's also not confident you know with ( it). Just try this first if not in time will tell. I'm sorry.

    0|0
  • My ex said that exact line. I'd ask and ask and tell him I wanted to and he'd say no. Over time I actually felt really rejected, like I was gross or something cause all I could think was how guys like that stuff. We went on a break and he let another girl go down on him... All I could think was "you never let me but you let her". I agree, it will hurt in the long run.

    1|0
  • Pretty much what stktder said. It sounds like hang-ups. Talk it through with him some more. There are quite a lot of feminist women who are advocating many of these sexual acts as not being degrading to women inherently. I agree. It doesn't matter what you do but how you do it and that goes negatively too. The degradation factor is only there for the people who do these things with that purpose. The act of giving head is NOT degrading itself. I am one of many women who find it very sexy and empowering. I love doing it. Perhaps you could do some research on these perspectives and tell your boyfriend about it.

    Some feminists to look up who advocate these acts as empowering are:

    Dr. Tristan Taormino

    Dacia Ray

    Erika Lust

    Best of luck.

    1|0
  • weird...does his words meet his actions? Meaning is he respectful of girls outside the bedroom? Does he have a thing with equality or something?

    0|0
  • omg that's the cutest thing I ever heard. your so lucky to have a guy like that. if he truly thinks that then ya just say you don't think its degrading and you want to do it for him.

    3|0
More from Girls
8
Loading...