Girl, why are you so self-conscious about your bodies?

I'm growing frustrated with girls that don't like their bodies half as much as I do. It's a total sex buzz kill when a girl doesn't want you to see her completely naked.

Girls, if you're with a guy then there are many good reasons he's with you. Why would you make it a point to highlight your faults and shortcomings?

I'm going to scream the next time a perfectly attractive girl tells me she's fat.


Girls, why do you do this to yourselves?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Put yourself in a woman's shoes for a day. You wake up, watch tv, read a magazine, go to a store. What do you see? What's plastered all over ads? Girls that haven't had a meal in weeks. Normal girls, at least most of us, can't be that thin and it causes our self-esteem issues. Now, continue on. You see a girl at school, and you think she's pretty. She gets all the boys to talk to her. And you automatically compare yourself. Women compete more with women than men ever will with other men.

    We, as women, go through our lives competing based on how we look, how we dress, how we do our hair. First impressions last a lifetime, and as a female, it has to be perfect or you're automatically written off. We have so much pressure placed on us, from children on up, about how we look that it stays with us.

    So next time you wonder why we're insecure, think about what might have been said to that girl, who she might see everyday, what she hears guys talk about. Because a girl who's been trying to live up to the hype is usually insecure and can't help it.

    • Wow... I never realized how bad it was for girls... I've thought about it and stuff, but coming from a girl it really opens my eyes...

      ****hugs for everyone**** :)

What Girls Said 36

  • Haha. Your question made me laugh :) but I, for one, appreciate that there are people like you around who are able to see the true beauties that female bodies are.

    Hate to say it, but a lot of people (guys and girls) I've met in my days aren't as generous as you are with compliments. As a girl, I've heard so many ideals for beauty that it's really difficult to recognize whether I'm close to any of them. I know that I often highlighted my shortcomings because I figured if I were the one who mentioned it, it would be more confortable for other people (so they didn't have to dance around the elephant in the room). But all that was done under the assumption that people thought of me in the certain way that I did. Now, I recognize that they don't... And I'm not as quick to underestimate my impression on others.

    I think all people (guys and girls) go through the stage of learning to accept and like who they are. Before reaching this stage, though, it's rocky, bitchy, and a hell of a pain for the people who are around them. It's eventual, though. Besides, beauty isn't as much in other people's minds as it is in our own. Once we no longer compare ourselves with others, we'll be able to nurture us for the beauties that we are, inside and out.

  • because of models in the media, looking at magazines, subconsciously comparing ourselves, trying to make our man happy etc etc

  • Girls just want reassurance sometimes. I feel fat when I am feeling down about myself in general. If I change something else about myself that is bothering me, then I don't seem fat anymore, instantly.

  • well girls do this to their selfs because media is telling them how they are sopposed to look and what they think guys want so they don't think they look good enough for a guy. that's the way I use to think but I stoped because I was just hurting my self and was never feeling good about my self but I changed that fast. when I'm wearing something I point out the good things that I like and I complament my self and I don't care what any one else thinks or says, I notice that if I like the way my hair looks like I will love the way I look no matter what gos on. I stoped caring about other people specially right now that I'm in high school because I know the way people are and I like it when people complament me when I'm at school that always makes my day. so guys don't be afraid to complament a girl it will put a smile on their face and won't think bad or think that they are not pretty or nice looking for a guy

  • I'm going to speak for myself, because I don't know about other girls. Hollywood, although it shouldn't, has an affect on how I see myself. I am no Paris Hilton, nor will I ever be as thin as her. Magazines are covered with thin girls who look like they haven't had a bite to eat ever. Okay, so these things may be airbrushed and whatever, but I'm still being exposed to it. I end up believing that those skinny size zeros is what I am supposed to look like. If I want the perfect body, I have to look like them. It is unhealthy, but that's how it is. I would cover up because I feel like these things are disgusting, and I wouldn't want the guy to see them. I think that a lot of girls feel like they have to impress guys with their bodies, so if they are not perfect then ... what is the guy going to do? Since society cares a lot about appearance these days, it makes it hard to feel comfortable with a body that isn't like the ones we see on television or in magazines everyday.

  • my boyfriend says he LOVES my stomach, but I'm not totally happy with it, but he hates when I say I don't like it,

    i guess he's right, if he loves it, than I should probably stop saying I hate it and just listen to him, because he's such a confidence booster/

  • 1) One of the biggest self-esteem killers for me has been overhearing guys discuss and criticize women's bodies. I overheard my boyfriend talk to his best friend about how Reese Witherspoon wasn't hot anymore when she was photographed in a bikini with little tummy roles after she had a few kids. We really, really take these things to heart. If I wind up marrying my boyfriend and having kids with him, I will never ever take him seriously if he tells me I'm beautiful after I've had kids - I will always remember he said that. How could I, if I already heard him offhandedly say that comment about Reese? I think she's gorgeous, apparently he has too high standards. He's made other comments about celebs in front of me, about them not having big enough boobs or being too pale when I have no boobs and I am pale. Stupid offhand comments, but they pretty much made him discredit himself so that I do question any compliment he gives me.

    2) Media protraying an impossible standard... models who barely eat, are photographed under just the right lighting and airbrushed, and also had plastic surgery. Look up pictures of Megan Fox from before she was famous - she's quite different looking!

    3) Women, after hearing what men think and seeing what the media says, get insecure and competitive, and attack each other to make themselves feel better.

  • I'm of Mediterranean descent, so all my life I've been curvier than most of my friends. Shorter, darker, and lots of wavy hair. I admit, I should lose a few pounds, but I wear fashionable clothes and take care of my looks. But from the time I was 12, I saw my mother's magazines that showed airbrushed 5'11" models who weighed 120 pounds soaking wet... and I knew that's what I'd be competing against for men's attention. It's in the movies, television, magazines- EVERYWHERE. We become insecure VERY easily. Women are told over and over what they should look like- makeup, clothes, hair, tans, etc... We're always reminded of our body "flaws", which in reality are the things that make us 'us'. I'm finally learning to embrace my body... curves and all. And for younger girls, it's MUCH harder to remember.

    • And if the models' images will not do it or if a girl will not pay any attention to it herself, other girls will do it: a way of eliminating a possible concurrent.

    • Exactly! It's inescapable. That's why, if I have daughters, I won't allow those magazines in my house. They can read American girl, or other girls/sports magazines, but they're so vulnerable at that age. Some may think I'm "protecting" them from reality... dang straight! Until you're comfortable in your own body, magazines can be detrimental to ones confidence and self-image.

  • Usually a girl may become self conscience if somebody has already pointed something out about them. Some girls are in such denial about their beauty they consistently ask do they look good or put them selves down only so their significant other will reassure them that they are hot to feel better. A lot of us have flaws and the last thing we need is a guy to point those out like why do you have so many pubes or what's up with the cellulite or geez you stink etc etc. The more you make a woman feel comfortable, the less she will criticize and be more comfortable to show you the whole ropes.

    • If somebody has already pointed something out about them, chances are it was another girl (a concurrent thus! That girl is a biatch) who said it directly or said it to a few guys. If it was a guy's idea, that guy is a moron. The opinions of a concurrent or a moron shouldn't hurt.

    • It does for some. You would be surprised

  • Well I need to make sure that my boyfriend knows as many of my faults as possible so that he won't one day look at me and see all of them at once and leave. When you don't really know someone you tend to build up this image of them usualy a perfect one...I just don't want him to be shocked at how imperfect I am and leave me once I've commited to him. But I do agree that girls feel fat for a lot of the time no reason at all. Like me xD

  • Well the distorted self-image seems to go hand-in-hand with girls. I blame the media and then I blame the guys and then I blame the girls. First of all super skinny and made up girls all over the media get all the attention. Most guys are then super excited to see super skinny girls (ie Playboy). And then girls buy that crap that they're suppose to look like that to be sexy...but most of those girls aren't even 'real' to guys. Just images. Shitty situation and I am prey to it myself. I'm not fat, but 'soft' I've been told, but distorted image of myself is still there. I think that there's a lot more to be said about girls that are comfortable with themselves then 'hot' girls.

  • For some people, it's an attention thing and a way of fishing for compliments. Say a thin or even average girl says she's fat, everyone's immediate response is "no, you're hot and perfect!" or "I wish I looked half as good as you!" or "you're so skinny!" It also gives people a sort of protective feeling over her, and gives guys a great excuse to say she's gorgeous, hot, etc.

    A lot of girls genuinely do hate their bodies (I do) and can't help it. But I admit, I'm guilty of using it for compliments.

    It's also sort of a way of flirting for some people.

  • Ya agreed blame the media but then again girls are being a little to gullible & stupid if they actually believe in what they see on covers of the magazine or reality tv . I don't really may attention to it like I already think that they're too many girls/women out there that just are too thin & lack shape or even slightest curves therefore I am confident in my body & proud that I tak care of it unlike others.

    Also its like our unlike you GUYS. by now you should know we have it ALOT HARDER okay so ya that's what you must understand unlike you we have boobs & a private ; 2 attributes to be concerned bout because well are boobs can be unoporportionate & have big or small nipples sry to be expicit & then to down there some girls have a big or small one maybe even has to do with having hair like all over ; that's what I HATE x[

    But I wouldn't point out such things unless were really serious & sex or sexual activities are brought about & I just fear that he will look at me weirdly because of a bad trait on me that I dislike and makes me sorta uncomfortable to show to others especially a partner.

    But then again if someone truly cares about you , if he was 2 then I would be ok and feel more secure that he is accepting me regardless of such things & there to resasure. But it also has to do with bein doubtful or what you like in a girl & that could cause insecurity especially if your she doesn't portray it .

    But regarding the nude thing , its just very touchy subject because you don't know how the opposite gender is going to judge you & your outer appearance , like I mean your bare and everything is showing it take time , confidence , maturity , acceptance & openess to be willing to do such a thing so you can't really blame us ...

  • peers, media you name it.

    hell I am a model and I would feel ackward standing infront of a guy.

  • cause guys look at celebs and other girls saying how hot they are. girls think they have to be perfect like them .

  • its complicated. I know how those girls feel.. I would feel incredibly awkward being naked in front of a guy.. we think that guys want the really skinny girl with a perfect body.. which is impossible to live up to.. and it makes us feel un sexy

  • i love being naked with the guy I like/love even with all the flaws. everyone has flaws though. I agree that girls should love their bodies because we are in fact beautiful. I had low self-esteem for a long time and it finally took the words of a guy to raise my confidence. he said " if you don't learn to love yourself, then who is?" I thought about that a lot and I was able to get over my self-confidence issues. I'm not cocky, I just know that I'm beautiful : ) and other girls/guys should too

  • I was terrified when I first showered with my boyfriend. I still am, most of the time. But he's never said anything to me except how beautiful I am.

    I'm trying to lose weight to consider myself more "worthy" of him, but I would never complain about it to him. Or put him in the awkward position of talking about my weight. 20 pounds may seem like nothing, but I'm sure he'll notice when I look that much more attractive.

  • I dunno,i just want to look beautiful,that's all I want most of the time haha..But look is not everything,a guy won't love me just cos of my look,and I know it.I want to impress myself tho.Main thing to be confident XD.

  • well I'm guessing it also has the theory of a guy won't going out wit a "fat" girl so even though she's skinny. and also because she's insecure about how she looks and feels. I recently just stopped caring how look. basically I take care of myself without worrying so much about my "fat". I've gotten so much happier! lol but yea, it takes so much time and effort to get this far. I know its frusturating and annoying but it won't stop unless the girl thinks differently about herself.

  • Well its different for each girl...

    myself, being abused physically mentally and verbally...

    and also I'm Bi and I don't like my body,

    another thing...

    I just had a baby... and although I do get a lot of men that want me, and think I'm attractive,

    I still am not comfortable with the way my body is.

    Women find beauty captivating... they look at what is supposed to be sexy, maybe in porn, or a poster on a guys wall and they look at their own body and see if their beauty captivates the mind like the beauty of that women...

    Its difficult to explain...

    Just let the girl know she's sexy scream in pleasure during sexual intercourse, be dominating take her clothes off, hold her arms down and tell her to shut up because she is beautiful, and you LOVE looking at her naked body, It turns you on.

    That would work for me, lol.

  • Haha... I understand where you're coming from.

    It annoys me as well when girls call themselves fat, because they usually aren't. They like to exaggerate because it makes them feel good when people tell them they're not.

    And usually girls get nervous about taking all their clothes off, because they don't know what reaction you're going to give them, or whether you're genuine or not. They've seen naked women before (or bikini clad) in magazines on TV and internet, and they know that they don't look like them, (which, lets say, who does?!) and think you'll be disappointed because you're expecting that. The problem is that we don't see enough normal women to feel confident in ourselves.

    Plus, we tend to criticise every other girl we see, so it's only natural to expect the same in return.

    Reassurance, and a indifferent attitude is the best approach. :)

  • Have you ever sat aound with your friends and disscused the women in the media? Like on TV, or in magazines, and said one of these women was unatractive, or fat etc?

    These kind of flippent comments stick in girls minds and while you might not really mean it, and every one knows media standards are different, it's tough when you hear someone say, for example, that Scarlett Johanson is "fat"! Btw, she is my image of perfection!

    I agree it's silly of girls but not entirely unfounded.

  • im really insecure about my body too, so I don't even let my boyfriend put his hands up my shirt. Insecurity is something that's really common in girls, so don't get frustrated if your girl is self conscious.

    All girls want to believe that they're beautiful, but with celebrities and movie stars to compete with, its hard. It doesn't help that guys drool all over these super skinny, outrageously gorgeous women in the media, because it makes us average girls feel even more ugly.

    • These super skinny, outrageously gorgeous women in the media are mostly as fake as possible: either surgery or Photoshop...

      Look at this site: it's a photographer selling his "art" :

      Look at the different girls in the portfolio, open the pics, move your mouse pointer over them and you'll see how much photoshop contributed to their "charms & beauty"

      You want an average girl to become a beauty? look:

    • Show All
    • Hahah,

      i loved that. so true, there all soo fake :)

    • Trust in ur man.Believe that he loves all of you and you will go a long way.

  • I use to be like that but then I was like if I don't like me then people won't like me so now I have tons of self confindence and I always make people happy and I hardley even worry about my body because I happy with it and idont need anybody else to like it for me to be happy even though it would make me smile :]]]

  • maybe they don't think that they are good enough for their partner, men always big themselves up more than women. I reckon that half the woman that say this are just searching for compliments...

  • blame the media, blame magazines and blame guys who don't think like u. Guys that make fun od girls who don't look a certain way and also blame girls that make fun of girls who don't look a certain way. The most You can do is make the girl ur wit feel as special as possible...but just understand most girls will complain about matter how "pretty" she looks

    • You can't really blame guys for not liking women for not having a "certain" look.

      It IS mostly the media's fault that is brain washing both sexes.

      Other factors are just evolutionary/biological.

  • the media

  • I'm afraid sometimes that I won't live up to "the beautiful girl" that my boyfriend calls me. It's nothing to do with him. It's just that sometimes I'm afraid that I won't live up to his standers (and I think this knowing that my boyfriend loves everything about me and my body).

    So, for me, it's more of a self-conscious thing. But I do agree, it is a turn off when a girl says that she is fat or something isn't right. It kinda ruins the moment. That's why I try not to say anything. lol.

    Lately, it's become much better because I'm learning to love with what I got and my boyfriend compliments me all the time and that's all I need :]

  • Sometimes I feel like a guy is with me because he can't do better. Just because he's with me doesn't mean anything. You might be with me but when a hot skinny girl walks by and you look at her, he's probably wishing I looked like that so of course I'm self conscious, who wants to be a consolation prize?

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What Guys Said 7

  • I totally agree with you, my girlfriend is 5' 3" and 93lbs. And says she is fat sometimes. I absolutely hate it. She is beautiful but doesn't believe me when I say she is. I'm glad you asked this, ide like to know too.

    • 93 lbs? jeez... is that normal for that height?

    • No, its really tiny. That's why I get so mad at her when she says she is fat. She's a f***ing toothpick, I try to get her to eat but she dosnt. I told her I'm not going to let her lose any more weight.

    • Keep it up,it can get scary if she keeps going like that.

  • Hey bro. I think girls just don't understand us. We want to watch a game, drink a beer, and see something naked. It's like math. If 1+1=2, then guy plus girl means he wants to see her naked.

  • I know there are girls like that and I can understand why to some point,but I do have something to say,

    I kept telling my ex in the past that she is wonderful,sexy,good looking,cute,etc and she kept thinking things that were,so not true about her.

    It took a while,but finally she ended up truly loving her self.Ladys,just try and love ur self.


  • The media I think it is. girls think they have to be stick thin to look good and attractive...not true

  • Have you seen all the girls on tv and at hooters there all with size C cups skinny bodies and lots of make up ''the ideal girl'' so most of them think its the only way boys'll pay attention to them

  • i think they do it because they think if they have a flaw you'll dump them 4 a girl who doesn't

    have that flaw but who really knows

  • ya ik what you mean. I think my girlfriend is the hottest girl on this planet but she thinks she is ugly whenever I tell her she is beautiful she says she isn't but I know she is.