He won't let me go down on him...

Question

I'm not exactly dating/f*** buddy/together with the guy I've been with. We've decided to just see how this exclusive "pseudo-relationship" works out before we jump back into the whole "we're official" thing.We're close, we see each other whenever he's not working and he wants to see me "every weekend". We've gotten pretty close, I know he cares about me and I care about him.I want to do something that shows him I care and that I'm not just "doing him to do him". I keep trying to give him back rubs or please him when we're together at his apartment but he won't let me even give him a freakin blow job! I feel HORRIBLE because he eats me out ALL THE TIME, and I feel like returning the favor because1. I love blow jobs2. I'm REALLY GOOD AT THEM.3. In my mind it's a way of showing that I care by giving it to him when he's not even expecting it.Yet every time I'm about to start, he lets me sink down to my knees and I start to try and pull down his pants and he just grabs my underarms and says, "Later."Even when we're fooling around and I say, "I'm going to sooo go down on you right now" he lets me get down to his navel area and then he goes, "Later, I want to cuddle instead."WTF!I gave him a blow job when he was seriously wasted because he wanted me to.Other than that, he won't let my mouth anywhere near it.Why does he do this, I'm not going to bite it off or anything...

meAsking3111 · Accepted Answer

Some guys just have hang ups, like girls - I love going down on girls but some girls just think they stink down there, get all embarrassed, can't handle the attention, or losing control in the orgasm, etc. It really turns me off when I find a girl like that, they can't enjoy sex because they have some weird hang up inside of them - it just makes me think they have other problems they don't want to admit to. Not liking sex is like not wanting to eat food, in my opinion - it's a way of living against your own better life. Like you need to be all depressed all the time because of some complex you don't want to deal with.

If you are so "not Exclusive" you can just find someone else to go down on, that likes it, and you like giving it to. I mean really, screw him, he's that much of a snob that he won't allow you to go down on him, the hell with him let him keep going down on you and you save your talents for some one else, there you're both happy. You might want to tell him, but he sounds like a stuck up prick so let him just keep being one and you do what you have to do for yourself.

Ask him if he has some hang up, like he thinks he stinks or whatever and if you can't work it out that way, then find someone else. If it's not worth it for you then don't do it and you'll just have to get used to not doing it anymore. You might tell him ahead of time, if it bugs you enough, that you're not going to stay with him in an exclusive way if he doesn't allow you to go down on him or at least begin to get over what ever his hang up is about it with you. Then after that you can see how he reacts and just decide what you want to do. The thing about this is that it usually is an indication of something else. Somebody who is so weird to not want a good BJ from a chick he's been seeing for a while and connecting with, must have some other stuff going on inside of them. If you can't find that out and work it out, then just find someone else.

Subotai · Accepted Answer

Suprise him when he's sleeping.  I have seen a few qs on here about women getting all crazy becasue a man didn't want to have sex or get a blowjob they moment they wanted to(sdmittedly weird  I never have that problem lol).  I like to say to them join the club men in general know what not getting p**** when you want it right away is part of life and for women this can be an odd experience.  I can't know for sure his exact reasons but subconsciously I suspect amybe he sort of wants to be chased seduced and lusted after jsut like men usually do for women.  I guess what  I am saying is his no doesn't really mean no, something guys have to learn.  Of course If he threatens to call the police stop, although the police might just laugh lol

MzDiva · Accepted Answer

Honestly, its situations like this that makes it important from the beginning of a relationship to discuss the things we like in bed and in relationships. Before my boyfriend and I became sexually intimate, we spent a lot of time discussing the things that we liked and did a bit of dirty talking during the process. When I got to the part about giving him oral sex in one of my sexy messages, he told me that oral sex wasn't something he liked having done to him. Because it was early on in the relationship when we had the conversation, he was more willing to talk about it than to blow me off because he still wanted to be with me and felt that answering my question as to "why not", was much easier than blowing me off and potentially losing me.

After he said what he said, I asked him "why not?" I also told him that because we were in a relationship, when the time came, I would want to do that to him to ensure that he is satisfied as well and his response was this: "Honestly babe, I don't like the woman I am in a serious relationship with to do that to me simply because I've associated the act in the past as belittling to women." Ok, you may not understand it, but what he later explained is that, because in the past he only made "bad girls = whores" who he "just slept with" giving him oral because he didn't value them, he didn't want the woman he is in love with to do it because he still haven't gotten over what he had done in the past. Like mine, your man may just be a "pleaser". He prefers that you sexual experience is great and is satisfied with the tricks and spins but not the oral.

I was concerned though that he may have preferred to get it elsewhere but his response was, "Baby I won't lie to you, being with you alone makes me happy. I value so much more than that to let you go on your knees to give me oral sex. You are a queen and in and out of the bed you should be treated as such"

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

when I  was being sexually active, I wouldn't want a guy to eat me out, nor would I suck his dick because I didn't want to kiss after he had done that, to me I thought it was completely unsanitary,. but now, I allow the guy to go down, and I went down maybe twice. I just had to be comfortable with it,. so maybe, he has to too. because , when you are drunk, you don't give a damn about what you do.:), and I don't know why, but I still don't like kissing a guy after he eats me out, its not that I don't mind, its just don't feel like kissing during sex,and after. its weird, I know. just give him time. :)

binkybb · Accepted Answer

did you ever consider its beacause he's trying to show you some respect? current boyfriend didn't let me go down on him for quite some time and when I asked why he said it was beacuse he didn't want me to feel like I had to just to please him,maybe just ask him why hun? it can't hurt :0)

Jackdajerk · Answer

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dave216 · Answer

It sounds to me as if there is a difference of opinion about how good you are at blow jobs. I would say he is not as impressed with your talent as you are.

l-hedoniste · Answer

Maybe he doesn't like blow jobs that much.

If so, you're going to have to meet each other halfway. He's going to get some blow jobs whether he likes them or not, but not as many as you want to give him.

smokeandmirrors · Answer

A guy that doesn't want a blowjob? Is he from the planet Earth? You might want to check that out. :)

JustDance · Answer

Playing hard to get. But maybe he wants the relationship to work in the long run and doesn't want it to be "just a fling" or become a "f*** buddy". having sex too soon CAN ruin it later on...

adrianereeder · Answer

yeah maybe he wants to show you respect. Or maybe he doesn't feel right. Maybe he is insecure about his penis. I think you really should sit him down and tlk to him. Tell him how you feel about giving him a blowjob. Tell him you really care about and whatever he is feeling insecure about, its ok. Really try to get him to tell him what is the problem. Have a good day.

lolfreddy · Answer

Wow, he's so lucky yet he doesn't let it happen... Ummm just ask him why. that's all. Let him know that you love to have him inside your mouth and that it gets you off. Just talk hun :)

mrkallai · Answer

perhaps he feel bad when you blowing him

GNIGHT73 · Answer

whenever you would like to you could give me a blowjob. your boyfriend probably had something sexual done to him when he was a kid, might not remember exactly what it was, but still doesn't want a blowjob because of it. maybe he seen his mom giving his dad a blowjob and didn't like it and it may have scarred him for life. ya never know...

but, like I said, if you like giving them that much, I have a long-thick member that is shaven all around it and needs some oral attention...

Greg

csgeek · Answer

Just get him wasted every time you feel the urge.

rudnick_z · Answer

maybe he's afraid that you might think its too small and make fun of it or he is just not ready.

joesphnuthowser · Answer

hahaha maybe he cares to much about his dick and he thinks its to fragile for any one to touch it or go near it

kinger · Answer

size issue, maybe respect I doubt that tho.  very lucky guy having you. keep trying

Work_it_out · Answer

My advice would be to straight out tell him that you really want to give him head and how much it turns you on...and that maybe he doesn't have a choice. I know that sounds like force but its like taking the pressure off him making the decision and could be a turn on.

If I had to guess why he doesn't want you to do it is that he doesn't feel he deserves it, which accounts for him going down on you a lot.

mtvilla · Answer

you should probably tell him to stop being so selfish

Anonymous · Answer

i used to like that myself but after that lorana bobbet chopped off her husbands penis and hundreds of women were cheering I never let a woman do that again. and I never will.

Anonymous · Answer

You don't have braces do you? lol

He won't let me go down on him...

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