Third base on the 2nd date?

[Anonymous]

I'm wondering if I made a mistake of allowing a guy to get to the 3rd base on the 2nd date. He would have wanted to go all the way if I haven't put a stop to it. Not like I didn't want to, but just that I felt it was too soon. I normally won't allow this sort of thing until at least the 3rd date or 4th date. And the 5th one usually means sex. So here's the history of our contact so far. I met him online, spoke on the phone twice before meeting up for the first time a week ago. Both phone calls were about an hour long. The first date lasted for about 5 hours. The 2nd date (yesterday) we were together for 8 hours. I had a good time and he did too. Although he's somewhat hard to read in writing (he's not too expressive in email or text). When we talk, conversation seem to flow naturally. I'm very attracted to him physically, and it seems like we get along and have similar opinions. Although that's something I need to explore more before making my mind that this guy is something I can see being in a relationship with. So by allowing a really hot and heavy make out session that almost led to sex, probably isn't a great move on my part. What do you guys think? He gave me a ride back home last night, but there wasn't a confirmation that we'll see each other again, nor the normal "I had a great time, lets do this again". We just kissed and then said I'll talk to him later. I purposefully waited to see if he'll say anything about see each other again. And he was about to say something but hesitated and said he forgot what he was going to say. So what are the chances that I'll see him again?

[islands7]

I thought home runs were on the 3rd date ... mmmmm

Well, sex isn't the string that brings them back, at least not me. Sex is fun and can last all summer if it's not a load of work or drama. It does play into marriage considerations since you need something to work with if going to be exclusive for decades to come.

Your deal seems secure as the string seems strong enough from on-line & dates one & 2. Having no friends/family/club members in common is a negative, so easy to just disappear, so hard to "know" each other vicariously to fill the blanks.

I can only suggest that you keep your date/sex standards status quo and keep your communications strong, so you'll know your preferred string is the one with pull. It's OK that some message seem like in a bottle tossed into the ocean, so long as he's reading them.

You can't say he's not trying using evidence from emails because those 5+8 hours indicate otherwise. He's interested in you but you'll never know in the short run if it's just to hit a home run ... so forgetaboutit and live your life, let HIM worry that YOUR intestions might not be honorable and YOU might not accept another date!

What he forgot was to say sorry for being so forward and ask you out again .. but he turned into a tangle tongue.

[Asker]

Well, I sent him an email yesterday morning about some random stuff I saw online that I thought he might find interesting. Then I ended the email letting him know to let me know when he wants to do something again and that I enjoyed our time together. Later that night, he called me and we chatted for another hour and he asked me if I want to do something this Saturday. :) I guess what I'll do now is to slow this down a bit and really try to get to know him.

[islands7]

Excellent

[honeyltsme]

Taking the time you've spent together (13 hours) between your two dates, corresponds to how much people might see of each other in total over the course of 5-6 dates. So maybe he just got confused by your gesture if he was going on the basis of how comfortable you felt with each other having spent all that time together and you were on a basis of it being just a 2nd date. Neither way of looking at it is right or wrong, you just found yourself on different pages.

I think if you like him and want to continue this relationship you should feel free to give him a call and simply pick up where you left off and where you are both comfortable.

[Anonymous]

If you don't see him again I wouldn't think it's because of how far you went. It would be because he's just not that great of a guy and you can do better. However, if doing that and him not calling will upset you then next time make sure you don't go that far. Before I do anything with a guy I think in my head if they were to not go out with me again would I be upset that I did this. If the answer is yes don't do it. The right guy will not stop dating you because you went too far or didn't go far enough. They will want to be with you regardless. Hopefully he calls :) if not his loss!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you got pretty far, but exactly what happened? Did you both get naked? Did you make him cum?