Why am I embarrassed of sexual things?

[Anonymous]

1- I'm too embarrassed to do it 2- I'm too embarrassed to get a boyfriend, because then people will assume I'm doing it and might ask me about it :/ 3- I hate my sexual organs...I think they look ugly, and I don't want anyone to see them. 4- I think having an orgasm would be embarrassing... making weird noises and faces :/ 5- one of my biggest nightmares would be someone walking in or hearing me having sex or doing something sexual 6- I think sex is kinda gross. Especially oral sex or anal sex. 7- I wouldn't want to go to the doctor about sexual health because that would be so awkward 8- I'm even embarrassed to be seen kissing 9- and embarrassed to see a sex scene on TV or in a movie 10- I can't even talk about sex with my friends, I make them change the subject because I feel uncomfortable. for your information- no I am not religious, neither are my parents. and I am 22.

[MrOracle]

Most people feel like this at least a LITTLE bit, but usually by your age, people have gotten over it. It's taking you a little longer, and that's not horribly bad or anything, but I can assure you that you really don't need to worry so much about this.

Humans are sexual beings, and having sex is a normal, healthy thing, despite the very mixed messages about sex that are so common in the US (and less common, but still present, in many other countries). We don't do anyone any favors when we say "sex is bad" or make people feel shameful for being or thinking sexually. It's completely normal to think that way. We *should* teach that sex is an "adult" think that has adult responsibilities and consequences, but we should never teach that sex is bad, or shameful, or something that we shouldn't talk about, etc. Maybe when you were growing up, adults gave you the impression that sex was bad or dirty or whatever, and that stuck with you, and now you're struggling to get past it?

Anyway, what is important for you to understand, and learn to accept, is that when you have a guy who really cares about you, he is going to find you very beautiful, including (and probably ESPECIALLY) your sexual organs. And there won't be anything to be embarrassed about. No one is going to judge you or think badly of you because you are a sexual person, because the truth is that EVERYONE is. Even as embarrassed as you are, you are STILL a sexual person, and that makes you completely normal.

What you need to do is find a way to accept this. It is completely okay to think about sex, to talk about it, to want it, and ultimately to have it. It doesn't make you weird, different, or bad in any way. Sure, you need to be responsible about it, but beyond that, you're old enough and mature enough to have sex responsibly, and certainly you don't need to deny yourself having a boyfriend, someone to love you and care for you, due to embarrassment about sex.

I recommend that you keep reading the questions in Sexuality here, and to participate in the discussions as much as you can. In particular, read what the other girls are concerned about, and what the answers are. It will help get you more comfortable thinking about sex, yet you'll be able to maintain your privacy.

Sex (not to mention relationships) will bring you pleasure that, right now, you can barely understand. Don't spend another bunch of years denying yourself the benefits and pleasure that these things can bring you. Yes, it will take a little work and effort to change how you feel about sex, but it will be worth the effort. It's time to grow up and be an adult, and you CAN do it! And we can help, by answering your questions and talking you through it.

[baliguy11]

1) no need to be embarrassed. the species would not be here without it.

2)people assume you are f***ing...good

3)forget how they look. put them to use. turn the lights down. get busy.

4)go crazy. orgasm is the best sensation on earth. scream, howl at the moon. we love it

5)sooo hot getting caught..

6)sex gross. easy girl. oral I can help you out. anal... maybe later

7)the doctor does not to be involved yet. humans did this sh*t long before doctors

8)kissing is embarrassing, OK lights down. we need to work over your hot little body.

9)we will wait on the p*rn. But when your suppressed sh*t is released...mmmmm hot monkey sex.

10) message me. no need to be embarrassed. just be open minded. I say embarrassing sh*t.

[Anonymous]

Conclusion: you are still not ready for sex. Its normal at your age.

[Anonymous]

I think this is over GAG's head. You need a psychiatrist.

[Asker]

Why? Not everyone is comfortable with sex. Especially shy people (I'm very shy).

[Opinion Owner]

Cause this is mental to the max. I'm shy too. I don't lke going to the gynocologist but I do itt cause I have to. I know someone who DIED of cervical cancer cause she didn't go. And you disliking your sexual organs? Not normal at all. Most shy people are very sexual behind closed doors. They sometimes are just too shy to get a relationship started.

[Asker]

I would go to the doctor if I had to I just think it would be very embarrassing and awkward. I've seen heaps of women on here who don't like their vagina or boobs.. So many people have surgery to make them look nicer (like labiaplasty). so I don't think I'm that weird to be self conscious of mine? and they must be that shy if they don't mind having sex and people knowing about it.

[Opinion Owner]

Most adults in relationships have sex sooner or later. Everybody knows you'll be doing it. And most people are happy for you about it. Ex. When you get married. Evern if you are a virgin everyone knows you'll be doing it your wedding night.

[Asker]

I don't want people to know that about me though... I don't want people to think of me having sex that is just embarrassing... also there is no rule brides have to have sex on their wedding night? its just a choice...

[Opinion Owner]

No. But it's assumed and expected.

[Opinion Owner]

Have you made an appointment for a psychiatrist yet?

[CuriousEddie]

I do think that there's something there beyond shy... a psychiatrist is not what's needed here, though, but a psychologist or other mental health counselor.

I think it would be worth it... just a few appointments to talk about these issues that you have, to see what you and the counselor think about why you might have them, and what could be done to help address them. If you aren't getting anything out of it, don't continue...

[lolli]

Were you abused in some way?

[Asker]

No

[beehaqi]

Hi. Pm me. Can help you out

[Anonymous]

You need a really good psychiatrist to deal with these issues.

[Asker]

It's not that bad?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes it is. Count how often you use the term embarass there. And look at how much you hate parts of your body. There are two movies at the moment (since your generation is just so god awful about reading) that you might look at. One is called "Shame". One is called "A Dangerous Method". They sort of relate to your problem. People who feel like you generally require lots of professional help, I'm afraid. No internet advise site can help you to deal with this.

[Asker]

I'm just shy. Isn't it normal for shy people to be embarrassed of sex & private body parts?

[Opinion Owner]

That's not shyness. Can you not tell the difference? GAG is full of shy people. This isn't shyness. 5 times you used the phrase embarassed. You can't talk to anyone about sex, you can't even see a doctor. That's potentially putting your health at risk. Can you honestly not see that goes way way beyond shyness? Shy people don't *hate* their genitals either. You need help. Serious professional help.

[Asker]

shy people aren't open about sex, I think they would feel embarrassed. There are heaps of women who are embarrassed of their vagina or boobs. That's why breast surgeries and labiaplastys are so common. So how am I any different there?

[Opinion Owner]

If you can't see it from everything I've listed, then there's no helping you...

[Anonymous]

umm for #3...you can see your sex organs? I'm pretty sure that as a woman those are inside you...

[Asker]

sexual body parts like vagina and boobs

[Opinion Owner]

your vagina is on the inside hun...

[Asker]

Vulva then. The bit you can see on the outside.

[Anonymous]

Bwahaha, cough , sorry... OK being embarrassed to an extent is OK. lots of get embarrassed about this topic. but why do you hate your body, cause yes, it is your body?

[Asker]

I don't hate my body. I don't like sexual body parts.