Sex on the second date... Is it really that bad?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy at a fundraiser a few weeks ago. We spent the whole night talking, and I was really sad to have to say goodbye. He contacted me later on, and we established that we wanted to hang out sometime. I wasn't entirely sure that if it was just a hang-out, or a date, but it turned out being a date. We talked for hours, and ended up making out at the end of the night. Last night was our second date. He came over, we made dinner together and watched a movie... We started kissing, then one thing led to another, and... We had sex. Twice. Then he stayed and cuddled/kissed me for a few hours, and headed home at around 3am, since his parents needed to use the car in the morning. Anyway, obviously things moved much more quickly than I'd expected... I wasn't planning on this happening; it just did. But I do really like this guy (not just the sex), and am super worried that maybe I've messed things up. I feel like he cares about me, and is genuinely interested... But now that we've had sex, I'm afraid that he'll think less of me, or something. So... Is the potential for a future relationship now doomed? Or is there still hope?

[taster]

Depends on the guy...that would not bother me at all...is normal & natural to me..and you will find that older guys (& gals) tend to have sex a lot quicker on average...youngsters will understand too when they are 20 or 30 years older...we just don't have the need for ritual...some younger guys are afraid that females who are quick to have sex with a guy might be quick to have sex with other guys as well...whatever you do..do NOT act desperate or pursue him aggressively...just try to act nice & sweet & be yourself..if he really likes you, he will find it very difficult to walk away from such a good thing...I am not saying "play hard to get" but make sure that you do not pursue him to the point where he sees you as a desperate nympho or something...does that make sense? Good Luck & feel free to discuss with me...(:

[taster]

@Update..Yes that sounded good..I cannot believe that you apologized though...O:O

[Asker]

Why, is it bad that I apologized? :S

[taster]

idk...lol..it's like YOU did something wrong...whereas I don't think you did...and...what about him? Maybe he should apologize for having taken advantage? (:(:(:

[Asker]

Oh haha... Well I guess we're both equally to blame, but...

[taster]

LOL! Yeah ik hon..well your apology is not a big deal...who knows..maybe for him it was a net positive?..any way Good Luck with that..he sounds interested...and, like I said..if he likes you and the sex was good...probably pretty hard to walk away from that!..I know I would not...(:(:(:

[kheserthorpe]

I think you're fine. Things may not go anywhere but having sex won't be the reason why.

A lot of people I know who are dating slept together the night they met.

some people think that's 'easy', other people think that's good chemistry.

[taster]

True this^

[Boogaloo]

Sorry - but I've heard of tonnes of long term relationships that started with sex on the first date.

its not a write-off straight away. but I do think it depends on the situation, and how much he is into you. if it was just casual attraction, he might very well cool off now that the mystery of you is gone. but if you two really clicked, then it won't put him off. At all. you'll just have to wait and see.

[Asker]

Agreed. Thank you! He just texted to thank me for last night and to ask for the ingredients for the recipe we made, so that can't be a bad thing, right?

[Boogaloo]

look just take it easy and see what happens. don't put so much into it. just enjoy getting to know each other and take it as it comes. you don't really know him yet to like him enough so just enjoy getting to know each other and play it by ear. no pressure on either of you. anything else is premature and too much pressure. good luck!

[taster]

Good Advice here^

[pr3ttybr0wn]

yes because you don't know him at all. this is why STDs are spread so rapidly these days. you just met him a few weeks ago, how much can you REALLY like the guy? you hardly know him

[Asker]

Haha, I don't think the spread of STDs has anything do do with how quickly you jump into bed with someone; it has more to do with whether or not you're responsible and use protection. Anyway, I do understand where you're coming from. However, I've spent more than 24 hours with him, and know enough to trust that he's a decent guy. When you spend that much time talking, you get a pretty good idea of who the person is. So far, I like everything that I know about him.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

dont you think you're being overly trusting? how do you know he isn't saying all the right things? good players know how to come off like good guys in the beginning. I just think that is not a lot of time to REALLY know someone. hopefully you don't get hurt

[Asker]

Haha, I don't think he's saying all the right things, or trying too hard. But thanks for your concern! I guess all I can do now is wait and see.

[stubbsy]

this one has to be waited on, because a lot of guys pick up on how easy you put up, and to not make him desire you due to making him wait could remove any future desire to be with you long term, so you need to wait and see how his emotions develope about you, but realize that having sex to soon will put thoughts in his head as to how many others were you this easy for, not suggetsing you are easy, it could be overwhelming emotions on your side, but this could end up as a notch on his bed post,x

[Asker]

I don't think he's under that impression, after having talked with him about an hour ago. Just because it happens once, doesn't mean it's a habit. I'm really not "easy," as a rule. I just couldn't control it with him for some reason.

[stubbsy]

No that's a fair comment, and I was insinuating at all either, but with your added comments, it could be that he was as in to you as you were him and that he is genuine and has feelings in place, I can just suggest be yourself and see how things develop, it doesn't sound as if you have much to fear,x

[draegenfly]

what's the update now?

[Moloch]

Nah keep doing what you're doing.

[larry69]

You gave it up too soon...He might view you as easy.

[RebeccaSJ]

I did it with a guy and wound up marrying him.

[RebeccaSJ]

I did it and I wound up marrying the guy.

[Anonymous]

Lmao seriously? The dude got what he wanted that easily? Honestly I it were me I wouldn't consider you for anything more than a booty call ha ha no offense.

[Anonymous]

I have no answer for you. It depends on the guy. Even if the guy doesn't see you as long term material, he'll still see you quite often until he does find one. Not something you should worry about too much now anyway. What's done is done

[Asker]

Good point; everyone's different, so I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

[Opinion Owner]

@update: Don't be so sure. If he said anything else, you probably would have felt bad and wouldn't see him any more or withheld sex for a while. He would be aware of that. Also, saying something like "I don't do this all of the time" isn't really a good defense at all. You did it once. The possibility is there that you've done it many times before and may again. I think having sex early on isn't the greatest idea, but again, it depends on the guy.

[Asker]

Ah, I know. I just meant that if he didn't want to see me again, he wouldn't even bother answering, right? That being said, I see your point. To be honest, I've never done that before (just for the record) and now I feel really bad about it, 'cause I know how it makes me look, but it felt really right at the time...

[Opinion Owner]

Why wouldn't he answer your calls/texts? Whether he sees you as long term relationship material or not, he will respond. He either really likes you and wants to date you or he really likes to have sex with you and wants to continue doing that. You have to worry about that with any guy, but I think a lot of guys aren't interested in promiscuous girls (even if they are themselves) for relationships, and if given up early on, it gives off a certain perception. Anyway,good luck. Hope he's interested