How can I be more aggressive sexually?

Question

my boyfriend has been telling me for a while now that he wants me to be more aggressive. I've tried some things that I would consider aggressive but I'm guessing that guys and girls have a different idea of what being aggressive means...so what does he mean? what kinds of things can I do that he will think is aggressive? and I can never tell if he is enjoying himself...how do I know?

Techan · Accepted Answer

First of all, what have you tried that you consider aggressive? Can't tell you what you should try if I don't know what you've already done.

Secondly... I don't know what HE means... no one can tell you that but him. Have you considered asking him more specifically about things he would like? That would be the best way to find out.

Also you can't tell if he's enjoying himself? What do you mean? Does he never orgasm during sex? That's a pretty blatant sign he's enjoying himself. If you're wondering how much and want to know what you can do to make it better... again just ask him...

It seems like a lot of the questions on this site could be answered this way. People ask what they should do, what he's thinking, etc. etc... just ask him! He won't mind I assure you. He'll be happy that you're taking such an interest in fulfilling his desires.

If you want some tips on things you could try to surprise him with? Well it depends on what his definition of aggressive is. He probably just mean that he'd like you to initiate sex more often. Next time you guys are hanging out, surprise the hell out of him by just jumping him right then and there y'know? Just walk over, straddle him and start making out with him. I can just about guarantee you he will like it a lot. Be the one to get things going y'know? Don't wait for him to make the moves. Just straddle him and make out with him to initiate something, give him a lap dance maybe. Be the one to take control of things. Half of aggressiveness in bed is more about attitude than what you actually do. But in general, think of it this way: a sexually aggressive person doesn't wait for someoe to initiate sex or passively ask someone for it, a sexually aggressive person takes it when they want it. That doesn't mean to just rape him or anything or be mean about it, lol, just take control. That's really what aggression is about.

greatadvice1987 · Accepted Answer

What a previous girlfriend did for me and it put a giant smile on my face was when she would give out orders like get on the bed, or tell me to take something off faster (clothing articles). Another thing that you could do is while you're making out bite his lip occasionally, and pull his hair. Make it a little rough, like nails into the back or whatever. But most of all when you give out an order don't laugh, just make like a sexy/naughty face. Maybe a slight smile, and be like you stay there and I'll take care of you. Take control of the situation.

4u2nv · Accepted Answer

Push him up against a wall & start making out with him.

Touch him harder. (grip his body tighter..)

Look him straight in the eye...it's intimidating! (& aggressive)

Whisper something naughty in his ear. (maybe in an aggressive tone also ;])

When you see him, don't just start talking...just go for whatever. (making out)

haha or if he starts talking, tell him to shutup and then start making out with him...=]

Techan · Answer

Well given that, I would say just take the advice of 4u2ny. I know that, as a guy, all the things she mentioned I would love. And remember that half of it is just the attitude, once you get that down, the rest will come more naturally

l-hedoniste · Answer

Ask your boyfriend. If he had explained himself clearly at the outset, you wouldn't be asking this.

"Be more aggresive!" is meaningless. It doesn't tell you how to respond, or how to know whether you're getting it right.

P.S.: "I don't know how to explain it" is bullsh*t. You try. If you have no clue what you want, you don't ask your partner to figure it out for you. That's unfair.

hunglowman4you · Answer

act like a slut... pound him like a slut... moan like a slut... etc... really this is the answer ask him and let me know :)~

passion47 · Answer

This is what most of us guys mean when we say "sexually aggressive."

Without words or warning:
1 - Slip your hand into his pants

2 - Take him by the hand and lead him to the bed (or wherever you two enjoy sex most)

3 - Literally grab anything on him as soon as he's done with his shower

4 - Pull an article of his clothing off and use your mouth any which way

With words:
1 - Tell him you'd REALLY like to try something you'd been thinking about

2 - Tell him exactly how horny you are, that you NEED it tonight (or right now)

3 - Tell him exactly what you want to do to him, and what you want him to do to you

4 - Instruct him as he's performing; tell him just what to do with his hands, his mouth, his lips, everything, and be VOCAL about it: "Suck a little harder." "Nibble that." "Move your hips in a circle." Etc

Sabkasathi · Answer

Proceed slowly, take your partner along with you, screw up your sexual incitement gradually and shock him from time to time, you will reach the place you love in time and you won't even realize it.

only4ladies78 · Answer

Choke him baby

Anonymous · Answer

Wrestle him, in him on the bed and dominate him.

How can I be more aggressive sexually?

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