How can I make my boyfriend last longer in bed?

[Anonymous]

I think my boyfriend is really the minute man. What can I do to make him last longer during sex. Sometimes he does not even make it through a blow job before sex and if he does then he usually cums before I even sit all the way down on it. When he does last longer then a few min he does a very good job at pleasing me, but most of the time I have to finish myself off or he gives me oral until I am done. I don't want to sound conceded but I think I am his first girlfriend that has a fit but curvy body that he really enjoys and I am wondering if that has some to do with his problem. That being said, I have tried things like leaving my bra on or blind folding him and telling him to not rub on my boobs cause that might over excite him. Still did not work. I don't know what else to try. Have any helpful tips? I just want him to last long enough to let me have mine too.

[kholland65]

Yeah he likely finds you very attractive which is why he isn't lasting long. I know I usually find it a bit harder to last long the hotter the girl is. Here are a few quick tips that have worked for me in terms of increasing my stamina.

1. Experience. I'm not sure how many times you have had sex, but I many times slightly under perform my first few times with a new Girlfriend because I'm just a bit nervous. As I get more comfortable, I am able to last longer.

2. Don't go down on him for very long or at all. When my Girlfriend would go down on me, I'll usually stop her after a few minutes if the intention is to have intercourse. I know if I let her go to town for 10min, I'll be ready to come as soon as I stick it in.

3. Encourage him to masturbate more. Not easy to do. I leave this up to you on how you intend on doing this. But if a guy has recently masturbated (And no I'm talking about an hour before), He'll be a bit less sensitive and have less sexual tension (aka he won't be as horny) and will last long. Bsically if he has masturbated in the last 24 hours, it will likely help him last longer.

4. Use more positions that don't require him to move. Like girl on top. When the guy has to move and contract the muscles in the pelvic area, it will make him come faster. Having him use his arms or full body also works. Like pulling you in during doggy as opposed to thrusting with the hips.

5. He needs to learn to relax his muscles in the pelvic area when he is nearing orgasm. Normal tendency is to tense up, kinda like you're holding in a fart (not sexual I know), which pushes you over the edge. If he can suppress this he'll be able to last forever. This takes practice but that is what masturbation is for.

6. Him wear a thick condom. I really like those ultra thin condoms because they do feel like you're wearing nothing, but unfortunately they don't exactly slow the trip to O town. a regular style condom which is a bit thinker will cause him to feel less of you and should last longer. If he is really bad, then try the condoms with spermicide. I've heard of some guys going practically numb with that stuff and lasting for an hour.

7. Have him take a break when he is nearing orgasm. He can go down on you for a few minutes and give his little guy a break which should extend his time by a few more minutes at the very least.

I'm no sex therapist so take my advice with a grain of salt, but that's what has worked for me and or I've heard from other people.

[kheserthorpe]

5 and 7 are the key. The basic approach is he needs to masturbate (or do stuff with you) while SPECIFICALLY making sure to last longer. Initially that will require lots of 'stopping', but the goal is for him to use other techniques (relaxating, breathing, kegel, reverse kegel) and to use them earlier on, when his arousal is moving slightly from 'i can do this for an hour' to 'i'm getting pretty excited' to bring things down a notch. That takes practice.

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

Well this might not be incredibly helpful, but, I can say this, it sounds like it has nothing to do with the visual aspects of sex, and has everything to do with him being overly sensitive.

Apart from extra condoms or something similar, I can't really offer much. There aren't a lot of surefire ways to desensitize a guy. At least I've never heard of any good ones. I've had a friend who used some kind of numbing agent on her guy's penis, but that didn't work out for them. As I said. I don't think there's much you can do.

All I can tell you is that it has nothing to do with how good you look, how hot you might be, or how sexy your breasts are. If that were a factor, your blindfold thing or your lack of boob grabbage should have helped. But it didn't. If it was about excitement I think you could have fixed this.Don't get me wrong, I'm sure he loves it. I'm sure you make him plenty excited, but I don't think that's the problem.

Anyway. I say focus on working out his oversensitivity. Work on fixing that. If you find something, do share with the rest of us. I'm sure there are tons of guys who wouldn't mind lasting a little longer. In the mean time good luck with this.

[Anonymous]

are we twins, girl? I have the same issue with my boyfriend. well minus the curvy bod. I look more like a model lol I think my boyfriend might be inexperienced and just not saying anything and I also think sometimes I'm too much in bed for him, so I try to tone down the moves xD

its kind of annoying that I can't do what I want to do to him because he can't handle it. I've gotten him to last longer in intercourse by skipping oral sex for him. its frustrating because intercourse is now ALL about managing his time. I don't enjoy sex anymore. I'm too busy trying to make sure he doesn't come. anyway...i agree with skipping the blow job for a while. what I sometimes do I start with intercourse and every other minute or so, I hop off (im always on top) and suck on him for a few seconds before hopping back on so he can get the full effect and not feel like he is missing oral sex completely. it has worked a little bit. also, if I start doing something too intense on him, he makes sure to pull it out for a few seconds to calm down. I really have to adjust the way I have sex, which again, is very annoying but its for him, so...i do slip up sometimes but generally I have to not ride him like I usually would. for example, it helps if I don't have him too deep in me or push back on him too hard or too fast.

sometimes my boyfriend goes down on me first because he wants to get me off which definitely makes me feel better. we have been doing that lately and it does make the whole thing less frustrating.

apparently there are male kegel exercises as well? my boyfriend said he read something about that and he's looking into it.

[kheserthorpe]

Send him to link

Can't stress this enough :p

There are male kegel and reverse kegel exercises. I've spoken to guys who've gone from one minute to 60 of intercourse. I'm not _reliable_ but its made big differences for me, and it can help within weeks.

[Opinion Owner]

omg 60 minutes would be a miracle. lol thanks :)

[Anonymous]

-You could try a **** ring. Those can help guys last longer in bed.

-Also, when I give my boyfriend a BJ he cums and then we wait a little bit and he's ready to go again and he lasts longer for sex, you could try doing it that way too.

-Try switching positions before he can cum, that might help him last longer.

-You could also have him masturbate more so he gets a little less sensitive to sex with you.

[kheserthorpe]

On the last point, the key is he has to masturbate for long periods of time, no quick j/o. He has to train his brain to expect long periods of sensation before ejaculation.

[Asker]

ok I will try that. maybe I should give him more hand jobs and not so many bj's

[kheserthorpe]

Well, it depends. If he's cumming in like 2 minutes from bj, then hj might be better. But bj is better 'practice' for sex. It depends where he is in terms of control. You sort of need him to always be aiming to hit some minimum amount of time, and gradually build up what intensity he can handle FOR that period of time. Also be aware that its not just intensity that makes him cum, its also how fast things ramp up. A little gentle oral before sex CAN help him get used to 'wet' feeling first.

[Vanessaxx]

lol I asked my hubby about that question of urs - he can go on for HOURS!

And it was like that the very first time we had sex years ago i.e we can have sex 4 to 5 times a day if we feel like it ;-)

He says its because he used to masturbate 3 or 4 times a day before we were toghether ;) maybe your guy should try that!

[Selena777]

dont leave him girl.
believe me he knows about it and feel horrible.
my man was the same, we tried everything, but what seems to really work for him
is the combination of masturbation (he basically practices) and xperform spray, and condom :)

[stubbsy]

buy a **** ring, get his tool semi hard and slip the **** ring on, this should stop him from being so sensitive but also will help him stay hard for you, x

[kheserthorpe]

Direct him to

link

Tell him you'd like it to last longer because he feels so good in you. Tell him you want him to practice on you. Lots. And Lots.

[Anonymous]

Have him masturbate some period of time before sexual relations. Too long before will have no effect. Shortly before will slake libido too much. The trick is to find the right amount of time before.