If a guy asks you if you want to come up to his place for a drink, does that auto mean it's an invite for sex?

[Anonymous]

Say the two of you aren't on a date but are acquaintances who caught up over dinner or drinks that night. If he asks you afterward if you want to come over to his place for drinks or coffee, does that usually mean it's an invitation for sex? And if I say yes, will he expect me to understand that I'm basically open to the idea of having sex with him?

[taster]

That is a time-honored way to invite a female (or male) inside ..and for possible sex...but...you should be able to get around that by explaining that you will/would but that sex will not be forthcoming..I think it is important that you say that because he might indeed think exactly that...I assume that you are not worried about rape? I used to try to get a female to sit on my lap because thatg usualy seemed to mean that they would have sex with me...but that is not a "firm contract" and guys need to understand that...best, tho, to have no misunderstandings...(:

[taster]

@Update...just tell him that you would be OK with that but are definitely not ready for sex yet...(:

[tommyatomic]

If he's single and you've been flirting it is absolutely an offer of sex but not always an expectation of sex. On a third date it may be an expectation of sex. If alcohol was involved in the evening, coffee is sometimes offered to make sure you get home on your own safely.

If the flirting has been on the lite side It is possible that the evening was good, the conversation was entertaining and he wants to make it clear he wants to see you again.

[tommyatomic]

Sex too soon is really a girl thing. Not a guy thing. If he likes you but thinks that you are playing him he may be trying to make a play for sex to make sure he isn't wasting his time and isn't being friend zoned. Sleeping with a guy guarantees him he has no been friend zoned.Its impossible for a woman to friend zone a guy she sleeps with.

[Asker]

how can you tell if the offer of coffee is him being concerned for your safety rather than just for sex?

[tommyatomic]

Regarding coffee. Was there a fair bit of alcohol consumed? Did he already suggest you taking a cab home before mentioning coffee. If you've been consuming alcohol and he already suggested parting company prior to offering coffee then the safety thing comes into play. If he offers Irish coffee or spanish coffee then no. Those are nightcaps which are equal to an offer of sex. Just coffee is not always an offer of sex. However more drinks or Coffee = offer of sex.

[zinclozenges]

It's an offer, but not an expectation.

[nicenthic]

Yep. It's an invitation to have sex. Doesn't mean you can't say no when he tries, but he will try. Plus, when you add drinks to the mix, it's harder to say no. Then again, why say no? It should be fun.

[dnately]

It's certainly an invitation to have sex, but "sex" in the general sense, not necessarily intercourse.

Whatever his intentions are, by going to his place you are not committing to anything. It's perfectly fine if you decide to just have a drink and go home. You can also go farther if you want, but I don't think that he is going to assume that you are going to for sure.

[AdamThomas]

For most normal guys, yes it is.

[Xx_DRE_xX]

Yeah basically that's what the invitation is.

[Xx_DRE_xX]

@Update Did you not see me say yeah?

[Geert]

No. Most guys will not see that as a yes to sex, unless there has been some heavy flirting. Perhaps something more along the lines of "I am interested in you as well, lets see how this goes." It's not a yes to sex, but it's not a rejection either. If you have absolutely no intention of any romantic relation with this guy, it's probably safest to say no. If you're unsure about it, would like to get to know him a bit better and are open to the idea, say yes. As always, use your own judgement to evaluate the situation.

Good luck :)