How to tell my girlfriend her past sickens me without hurting her?

[Anonymous]

Whoa guys my girlfriend gave me her number yesterday and it was bad! she's 8 and I'm sadly only a one. We were in the car and honestly I was expecting a three or four but fukin 8!? She was easy before she met me. Anyhow, when she told me I was like "wtf!? Are you serious!?" (yeah not my best moment) And it got REALLY quiet in the car. Then she asked if I was mad and I sarcastically responded "no, every guy wants a slutty girlfriend." (again, not my best moment) I Haven't talked to her all day and I just don't know how to tell her how gross I find it. She keeps calling and texting me asking what's wrong. I want to tell her that the past is written in ink and the fact that she "loves" me doesn't really change the fact that she's yknow kind of a slut to me. Any advice on how to break it to her easily so she won't be hurt? And is it odd that I'm not really in the mood to have sex with her anymore?

[MrEM4N]

It sounds like you're acting like a royal prick. Man the fu** up and accept your girl friend for who she is. Sleeping with 8 guys isn't a big deal. If you were confident with your sexual prowess and didn't have tiny d*** syndrome you wouldn't care. As long as she doesn't have STD's and a history of cheating then I don't know wtf the big deal is. You sound like a total p**** for freaking out over 8 guys. Whoopy f**ckin do. You can either man up or back up. Either way, it's not right for you to judge her based on her very limited number of sexual partners. People that find each other attractive have sex. What's the big deal? Sounds like you're putting her pu**y on a pedestal. Maybe you feel angry because you thought you were hot sh*t and women should be lucky to get to sleep with you but now you know 8 other guys have been where you have she doesn't deserve your d***? I can only guess but either way, you should worry less about how to tell her she's a slut and more about how to be a better man.

[MrEM4N]

Damn, I wrote this 6 hours ago while drunk. I'm a feisty drinker.

[yopyopyop]

Feisty Touretty ;)

[stubbsy]

A great attitude from a fellow fella, pleased to see men stick up for the persecuted, because some guys are so immature, they really don't desrve the talents women offer, I am with this guy, great comment and well put.

[Asker]

Being slutty is a talent women offer? I don't know what kind of kother raised you, but she was probably easy too lol. And I'm less of a man because I have standards? I don't know wtf is going on in your head "mrem4m" but you sound like you're a pushover, and I don't respect you.

[MrEM4N]

No, you're less of a man because you have unfair standards. In the grown up world people have sex and you aren't judged by your numbers of partners but by the quality of your relationship. You're still under the enchanting illusion that sex is a magical act that requires two perfectly matched souls to perform. I 100% guarantee the person you become in 5 years will look back at who you are now and shake his head at how silly you're over reacting.

[samanthaDty]

You wanna go for a girl who's slept with less people? Then go find an ugly one because I doubt there's gonna be hot girls out there who refuse sex with guys she's attracted to so that she doesn't offend an ignorant f*cker like you!

[G_GTom]

There's a lot of people jumping on your case and I don't know why. Women seem to always be surprised that men can find them unattractive. If you're not attracted to someone for ANY reason, that's you're right. Anyone who tells you differently is trying to control you or pushing an agenda.

To deal with your girlfriend. Well, honestly, you have two choices. You can deal with the situation and get past it or you're going to have to find another woman who is more in line with what you find attractive.

If this bothers you a lot, my advice would be to ask up front before you get involved with her. That's exactly what I'd do. Then you have to ask whether she'll give you an honest number up front -- probably not, but that's a whole other topic.

[Asker]

Thanks for the support, I asked how to let her down easy and these people are telling me I'm "judging" her. I can do whatever the f*** I want because I have free will. I can make my own choices, one of them is chosing to find a different girl.

[candlewax]

You do have the choice, but you still come across as a judgmental douchebag. Good luck finding a girl that's going to live up to these standards that you expect. Hope it works out for you.

[stubbsy]

sad individual, and no you can't do what you want, not without consequence, and with an attitude like this, there is consequences, what girl is going to be interested in a muppet for a boyfriend, change your attitude towards girls, or no girl will go near you.

[Asker]

Dude wtf are you talking about yesterday I hung out with a girl who definitely seems to be interested in starting a relationship. I told her my ex was a slut and she agreed so I'm all good. Now I just have to break up with her which is the hard part.

[DebiPie]

1. He gave you basically the same advice as everyone, should have d/c'd it first. 2. Now, you're #'s are going up... 3. How are you ever going to know for sure...about what # a girl tells you? And how is she ever going to believe you? 4. Life is a gamble sometimes...

[Asker]

yeah our relationship is pretty much broken right now, I haven't talked to her for a few days

[samanthaDty]

Your honestly gonna break up with a girl purely based on the fact she's slept with a couple more people than you have? That's stupid

[DebiPie]

I don't think you have to break anything to her, do you? Your response already did that. Stop being so judgmental of her. It isn't like she was with 8 guys at the same time. Did she judge you as being someone who had little experience? Someone who couldn't get a girl? NO, she did not, and many girls would have.

Let it go. She is the same girl you liked before she spoke "the #" and if it makes that much difference to you, then you had better start asking girls right off the bat before they start investing their heart in you, so they will not get hurt. It is unfair of you to do this to them if you have this standard...put it out there from the get go.

Who knows in a few years, that could be you with the high #s...and some one will be ditching you because of it.

[taster]

<3

[G_GTom]

Asking a woman upfront is a good idea in theory, considering the situation. Getting an honest is, well, good luck with that.

[candlewax]

Hell, either gender asking the other is a good idea. Especially if you're going to let it bother you that much.

[G_GTom]

I agree with you. Asking is the best policy. I just don't think the person asking is going to get an honest answer. Then you're back to square one.

[stubbsy]

this is very doubt ful, this guy is lucky to have one under his belt lol.

[Asker]

I know I shouldve asked her earlier but I thought she was yknow tougher to get in the sack

[udolipixie]

1. How to tell my girlfriend her past sickens me without hurting her? I'm guessing to her you already did by your reaction.

2. Any advice on how ro break it to her easily so she won't be hurt? She's probably already hurt if she was foolish enough to develop feelings for you.

My advice would be that it's probably best suited to dump her so that she can have a guy who loves her as she is without disgust for her sexual history.

3. And is it odd that I'm not really in the mood to have sex with her anymore? Not odd most guys are possessive though they mislabel it as protective. It's a blow to their ego and pride that others have been inside their property.

[G_GTom]

Certainly moving on is an option that way they can both find people suited to each other.

[candlewax]

How about you get over yourself? No offense, but if you really cared about your girlfriend, you wouldn't be acting like a prick about it. She could easily flip it on you and want to ditch you because you're so inexperienced. Seriously, 8 isn't too terrible. I know of girls in the same age range that have slept with WAY more guys than that. Did you find out how many that is in what time span? If it's over the span of 3-4 years that's not THAT terrible OR slutty.

But overall, get over yourself.

[traintolondon]

agree!

[candlewax]

As some mentioned, and I totally glazed over this bit, but "sadly" you're a one? That makes you sound like even a bigger prick and extremely hypocritical.

[stubbsy]

Great comment, good to see girls putting guys right when its needed, a total numpty this guy, what's he doing with a girl anway, do girls actually find these guys worthy?

[Asker]

Yeah I think its slutty and you really can't do anything about that. My question was how to let her know without hurting her feelings.

[candlewax]

I find these guys ridiculous and know they'll end up rather lonely if they continue with such hypocritical outlooks on life. I had something going on with a guy like this. He could do x,y,z and it was okay if he were to do something, but if I did? Oh no. Accusations and ridiculous behavior if I did any of it. Needless to say, I cut him off asap. This guy letting her go is a good thing. He doesn't seem like boyfriend material and should grow up a bit first.

[Asker]

Yeah but at least I got into her pants right? :D

[supergr8]

this is ridiculous. why does her past even matter to you? if you were so concerned about it you should have asked her before you slept with her.

[planetearth]

You shouldn't ask how many your partner has had. It just brings up bad thoughts. Leave the past in the past.

In a way I agree that 8 partners for a 20 year old is kind of high, but believe me it could be much much worse. I knew a girl that was 25 and had slept with over a 100+ guys.

But yeah, I stand by not going there in terms of past relationships. It's a bit sticky. As long as there are no diseases, or bad behavior, everything should be OK.

[Prof_Don]

8 partners at the age of 20 isn't that high at all imo

[samanthaDty]

Yeah my ex girlfriend is 17 and she's slept with over 40 guys... 8 people for a 20 year old? That's nothing.

[wpmason]

"She's 8 and I'm sadly only a one."

You're a hypocritical douche-bag. You think she's had too many, but if your number was higher it wouldn't sicken you, you'd just stop saying "sadly".

This is the modern era, and you're going to be extremely hard pressed to find a girl that you're into whose past doesn't sicken you. Either get over it, or plan to be lonely for a long time.

I think you're just bothered that she's been out living life and you haven't. For my money, 8 isn't that high. assuming she started around 16, that's two a year. A true whore, indeed. Grow up man.

[Asker]

If you call being slutty "living life" then yeah she's been living life lol

[wpmason]

Define slutty then. Finding the right person is hard, and requires a lot of trial and error for most people. I don't think that being with 2 people a year is slutty. Now eight guys in one night is, in my opinion, but not eight guys over a period of time. My issue is with your attitude. If she's not the right girl for you, that's fine, dump her. But being sickened by her past and calling her a slut is completely unnecessary and indicates to me that you've got more problems than she does.

[stubbsy]

Its odd that you would treat your girlfriend this way, OK no guy like to have a girl with a string of exes, but why did you have to know anyway, she was honest enough to tell you, and just because you have only had a quiet response to girls in your past, if it was you with the number 8 then you would be smiling right now, so show her some respect and apolagise for the way you reacted, otherwise your going to lose her and regret it, because her past should not determine whether you like her or not, but if you can't deal with the fact that she was active in her past, then just be honest and say so, she was with you, but she does not deserve to be called a slut, your just being childish here, your never going to impress a girl with that attitude,

[Asker]

Yeah I plan on sleeping with a lot more women, and how can I show her respect when I do t have any for her anymore? And I never actually called her a slut to her face I just said guys don't like slutty girlfriends. And why would I regret dumping a girl who sickens me? That doesn't make sense.

[samanthaDty]

That is ridiculous, I'm only 16 and my number is 27, now I don't consider myself a slut and neither does my current boyfriend but because I lost my virginity at 14 I made a lot of mistakes, got addicted to drugs and alcohol, most times it was non consensual but as I appeared vulnerable guys took advantage of that. Now I've completely changed and I've been completely sober for 3 months thanks to my support worker and I'm so embarrassed about my past as that was so not me and I just lost control, you shouldn't judge someone by their past, the past is gone and it's not like it affected her body physically or changes things for you in any way, whether you slept with 3 or 20 people your body stays exactly the same so why does it sicken you? Just forget about it.

[Namit_Vats]

true.

[Asker]

Geezus christ! I consider you a solid slut no offense. And guys didn't take advantage of you, it was you who were stupid enough to get high and drunk and become an easy lay. 27 guys I guess you didn't learn your lesson after the first time right? I'm glad your not a whore anymore but remember that the past is written in ink.

[samanthaDty]

Yeah but no one can prove my past. No one knows my past and now I'm living away from everyone I knew before and my life is not affected in a bad way because of it. The only way it has affected me is in my head because you learn from the mistakes you make so I've learnt a lot. It's not like I kept making the same mistake because it was different every time.

[Freetobe007]

:O 27 sexual partners and you are not even an adult?

[tohrment]

Lol, only on GAG...

[madiocre]

it's probably a good thing she has experience because she won't be so suprised about the fact that you turned out to be a superficial dud.

[taster]

hahahahaha...zing...<3

[stubbsy]

sweet, great reply,x

[katiesmuff]

Pretty much not going to happen

[yopyopyop]

Well you already told her how gross it was in your view, in the car. I mean, the message could hardly have been clearer ;)

But to me, it sounds like you're not that much into her anymore, otherwise her "before you" wouldn't interfere so much with "now with you".

[Asker]

Thats so true before I knew her number I thought she was special, now not so much.

[MrEM4N]

Reread this question and made me want to post a second time.

You're a prick.

[likewoahhh]

Lol you're an a**hole.. I'm pretty sure you've already hurt her enough. calling her a slut and hanging with other girls behind her back? I hope she's the one that breaks up with you.

[Asker]

I dumped her but I still hook up with her once in a while, so I guess I win

[bDizzie]

She's not a slut but you sound like a prick. BTW girls always say a number that is lower their actual number.

[Asker]

Im a prick for wanting a girl with less mileage?

[samanthaDty]

She ain't a f***ing car, she's not gonna break down on you because she's slept with more people than you! If anything it will make her better and able to last longer because she's strengthened her body.

[PoeticNinja]

I'm sure if you had sex with 8 girls, it would be a whole different story, yes?

You know, if she didn't go through all those 8 guys.. She probably wouldn't of met you.

There's really no way of telling her without hurting her feelings. Just tell her that her sexual past bothers you a bit and you need time to yourself to get over it.

[stubbsy]

get over it, the guys to immature to understand, let alone get over it lol

[Asker]

Dont you mean "too" immature? Learn how to spell guy, then I might take you seriously.

[PoeticNinja]

I misspelled a word, so sue me.

[Iron9]

I hear you man. It would be hard on me too. I'm going through the same thing and I fucking love this girl and I respect her but I just can't get past the fact you know. But I read a different post on here about another guy and he said that his girl is 18 years old and she's slept with 50+ plus man. That makes your girl look like a saint lol

[vptwarrior]

you can still value yourself and have a lot of sex you jackass, "she's not long term material anymore" no, if she slept with more than 100 guys at age 20 then I might see that, but 8, lets calulate that, that mean's she's had 8 relationships before you over a span of...about 5 or 6 years depending on when she started having sex, if you have a problem with that, life gonna suck for you.

[G_GTom]

This makes no sense to me. Either there is a number or there isn't. What you are, effectively, saying is the question asker should see the world through your eyes. 100 guys is too much, but only because you say it is? Both of you have a number, but his happens to be lower than yours.

[vptwarrior]

more of the reason I'm saying 100 is because at that age it would mean that either you've been sleeping with almost any guy who comes onto you since you were 18, or you just flat out suck at relationships.

[Asker]

Yeah dumbf*** I obviously want to have more sex. She's the only girl I know who has a number that high.

[vptwarrior]

question asker look at it this way, the fact that she has a lot of sex mean's that there is a higher chance of her knowing what she likes, and if she commicates to you what she likes you have a far higher chance of making her orgasm compared to other girls who have less experience, would you rather go for a girl who knows what she wants and you can make her happy sexually, or would you rather want a girl who doesn't know at all and is not very sexual leaving you with a far lower chance of making

[vptwarrior]

her orgasm.

[Asker]

I can get all that from a firl with 3 or 4 dudes, plus my buddies won't be able to talk sh*t saying my girlfriend is slutty.

[vptwarrior]

don't tell your friends then.

[taster]

So..having had sex makes her a bad person? O:O wow..I should have died and gone to hell 30 years ago.../:/:/:

[RealMenFly]

Your first few sentences make like no sense. Just tell her you don't think it will work out and tell her why, don't just ignore her for weeks on end first.

[G_GTom]

Actually, does he have to tell her why? Just move on.

[RealMenFly]

Well if she doesn't ask he doesn't have to tell. Well I guess either way he doesn't *have* to, that's just my advice.

[shazth123]

I think you need time. be honest with her and ask her for some time before you talk to her. if she asks if something is wrong. Just say yes and tell her that you will explain her at a later date. I think after a month or so, or maybe a week you will be sure at what you want

[Asker]

Good advice thank you

[Anonymous]

dont get pissed if a girl doesn't want you for having too many even if that's your past because she can do whatever the f*** she wants and find a better guy. karma is a bitch

[Asker]

NO! You're the betch! You betch!

[Opinion Owner]

please learn to spell. to be a 20 year old man you act like a 7 year old boy throwing tantrums. grow the f*** up and get over yourself. bitch!

[Anonymous]

Wow, don't be so damn judgmental. Just because she's slept with 8 people doesn't make her a slut, you don't know anything about the situation(s). BTW, you've already told her her past upsets you but "sickens" is a word you'll have to throw in there. There's no reason you two couldn't have a "special" relationship in practicality but if it's too much for you to handle then break up with her, call her a slut, and go try to find a nice virgin girl.

[Asker]

Id break up with her, but I wouldt call her a slut to her face